Outside of our State Fair Photo Contest, this is one of my favorite annual features to write. That’s not just because it’s fun to rank and research a bunch of hot chicks, but because of how serious these hot chicks take it. I think they care more about where they rate on this list than they do May sweeps.
Anyway, before we begin the countdown, remember these three things that I basically copied and pasted from last year’s rankings:
1. We take many factors into consideration, including, but not limited to, hotness, cuteness, popularity, politeness, obtainability, unobtainability, relevance, hairstyle, real life hotness, Ogle Moleness, bra size and how bad Bob Barry Jr. and Dean Blevins want to show them the Eiffel Tower.
2. Because we can, we are going to drag this series into four posts.
3. Please, actually pretty please, try to keep the comments classy. I guarantee the ladies on this list are going to read this. Don’t hurt their feelings. That’s my job.
Anyway, here’s 20-16 of our 2012 rankings. We’ll have 15-11 up later today.
20. Lacey Swope
Weather Producer – KWTV News 9
This is more of a symbolic ranking than anything. In 2010, we ranked a young, wide-eyed Emily Sutton as the 20th hottest woman in the Oklahoma City media. Just two years later, she not only won, but totally dominated Ogle Madness V. I’m not sure if Lacey will ever win an Ogle Madness tournament or rival Emily Sutton’s brand of girl-next-door hotness, but if she finds her a Joleen Chaney, expect her to have a much better ranking next year.
19. Havonnah Johnson
Reporter – KWTV News 9
To be honest, there were about 20 women in contention for the last few spots of this countdown. We chose Havonnah for a couple of reasons. One, her name is f*cking Havonnah Johnson!!! What the hell were her parents thinking?! Did they lose a bet? Was Iwanna Johnson too obvious for them? I have no clue, but I’d like to thank them for it.
Another reason why we included Havonnah over the other ladies was this photograph:
We’ve long heard rumbles from the North that there was a Cardboard Kelly Ogle on the loose, but we always dismissed those reports as myth and legend. Well, I guess that photograph proves us wrong. This is like uncovering a photo of Sasquatch looting Jimmy Hoffa’s grave, only it’s about 20-times better.
18. Patty Shaw
Reporter (?) – KTUZ 30
I need to learn Spanish.
Anyway, I have no clue if Patty Shaw still works for Oklahoma’s Telemundo affiliate, but with sunglasses like that, who the hell cares.
17. Amanda Taylor
Evening Anchor – KWTV News 9
Yeah, the News 9 coverage of her pregnancy may have been over the top and this thing happened, but Amanda is hot in a pretty way. Plus, we found this:
I guess Cardboard Kelly Ogle isn’t as rare as I thought.
16. Kelly Crull
Thunder Sideline Reporter – Fox Sports Oklahoma
Clark Matthews wrote a 5,000 word essay on how Kelly Crull is way better looking in person than she is on the Fox Sports Oklahoma telecasts where her face is plastered with make-up, but this post is already long enough.
Later today we’ll go through 15 – 11.
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