Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Bobcats are taking over OKC

As you readers know, I’m a city girl. I hate when I’m not at least within 2 miles of the nearest Target, and I can’t live in a place that doesn’t have a Starbucks that I shun for a local alternative (I love you, Michelangelo’s on Main Street!). I’ve been to Sayre once, and even then, I spent the majority of my visit there leaving to go to Elk City. I’m fine with this, and if you ask me, a backyard is just enough wildlife to keep me happy. And if I want to get really “at one with the Earth”, then I’ll just go to OU’s campus and sit on a bench near a tree.

That’s why city kids like me are cowering in fear. Apparently, we’ve got bobcats running around the city, y’all. And let me just start out by saying that all I know about bobcats is that sometimes white trash people think they make good pets and then keep them and their trailers and hunter green sectional sofas get completely destroyed. Also, it’s like a little backhoe that you can rent, but I wouldn’t mind if those were loose in the city because then maybe somebody would be fixing up the roads.

According to Kfor.com, the bobcats are hanging around those apartment complexes where you used to party back in undergrad:

Bobcat sightings are starting to pop up around Oklahoma City; wildlife experts said it is unusual.

We expect to see them behind the glass at the zoo but our own backyards are not exactly what Ryan Labar would consider bobcat territory.

“I’ve seen a lot of things,” Labar said. “I’m a two-time Iraq War veteran but even that would kind of freak me out.”

Now bobcats are showing up in neighborhoods.

Reports of the big cats have been traced to apartment complexes on Memorial Rd.

An unusual sighting to Micah Holmes with the Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation.

“Bobcats are very secretive, very reclusive,” Holmes said. “They are either nocturnal or spend their time moving around at dusk or right in the morning.”

Allow me to just say, that if 19-year old Marisa had seen any bobcats around those apartment complexes back when she used to attend random apartment parties thrown by boys named things like Cody and Brock, she would’ve freaked out. I still kind of freak out when I see that someone owns a cat. Seriously, why? Those creatures are evil, shed everywhere, have smelly litter boxes, and can haz cheezburgers. It’s a well-known fact that cat people die cold and alone and dog owners get laid like crazy. And a bobcat is twice the size of your fat, overfed house cat. That’s like double trouble!

But in all seriousness, I’m not sure that this is something that we should even care about if these creatures usually avoid people and their pets. But the story says they are very secretive, so at their worst, they’re either running a meth lab or some sort of child porn ring out of their little bobcat burrow, or wherever it is that bobcats live and sleep.

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Comments

  1. Just shows that nature is finally tired of urban sprawl and they’re brave enough to try to go back to their habitats.
    Nothing wrong with that.

  2. This is actually nothing new. It must be once again a slow news day and they couldn’t find anything else to talk about. They lay out all day in the sun on wild cat curve. Coyotes are in my yard almost daily.

    • Agreed. Dog owners are just insecure little people that must be constantly worshipped/adored…..

      Now let me get back to my microwave lunch of mac n cheese while I watch my star trek dvds

  3. There are rumors of mountain lions running wild in the Oakdale area. I find it hard to believe that God would allow mountain lions to eat the beautiful people of Oakdale.

  4. Recently there have been bobcats in my neighborhood. Supposedly they are making a sidewalk but they most move some dirt around, then seem to move it back the next day, ’til it rains and becomes mud; lather, rinse, repeat.

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