I like Norman, Oklahoma. It’s probably the most progressive city in the state, and therefore is always has some cool stuff happening. Plus, it’s filled with cute girls for about nine months out of the year.
Recently, in a move that made hippies jump for joy, they legalized chickens in the city. Now, they are a (chicken) little behind the times on this one, seeing as how OKC did this last year.
And like any good college town party, they won’t allow roosters to be kept in city limits. Because we all know it just takes a few cocks to ruin a party.
The meeting wrapped up late Tuesday, with approval 8-1 and most neighbors supporting the decision.
There are restrictions on the new measure. Residents can only have four chickens on their property, and roosters are not allowed.
There are also size requirements for chicken coups and runs, and the chickens must be fed and watered, just like any pet.
“It’s our back yards. I want to be able to have the right to use my back yard the way I want to,” said Kim Frakes, who owns chickens. “I want to plant plants. Nobody is going to stop me. I don’t want to lose the right to have chickens and eggs for my family to eat.”
Those against the decision were concerned about disease and the smell of chickens.
The one councilman who rejected the ordinance said he was concerned about irresponsible owners.
Uhh… remember when I said Norman was “progressive”? After reading Kim Frakes quote, I take that back. She’s using the same argument the NRA uses when people talk about banning assault rifles. The classic, “It’s my property, and you can’t stop me,” argument. I can’t wait to see her on an episode of Nat Geo’s Doomsdayers
Anywho, here are a few other things I wish Norman would legalize:
States that have legalized the use of marijuana are making money hand over fist. And if Oklahoma is ever going to come around to the thinking that this drug isn’t evil, we should start with Norman and show the legislature that it’s probably safer than alcohol.
2. Oral Sex
Did you know that oral sex is illegal in Oklahoma. Well, it was and probably would still be against the law with our legislature; luckily those swingers on the Supreme Court nullified this law in their landmark decision, Spitz v. Swallows… just kidding, it was this case that nullified the law.
3. Payment to Student Athletes
Listen, I realize this is bigger than the city of Norman and probably goes on more than I realize, but why don’t collegiate athletes get paid? Universities exploit the athletes and keep all the cash from endorsements from video games, apparel brands, donors, and television revenue. What do they get in return? Free school, healthcare, and knees that don’t work by the time they turn 30. Bob Stoops is a millionaire that can do Verizon commercials, but it is illegal for Landry Jones to accept payment to endorse LifeChurch.tv or Chick-Fil-A.
4. Military Drones
If I can own an assault rifle for hunting, why can’t I own a drone? I’m tired of having to go out in the wilderness to hunt. With a drone, I could bag a deer from the comfort of my own home. I promise I will only use it for hunting and home protection.
5. Surgery Without a License
I would like to remove my tastebuds, but haven’t found a doctor that can/will do this. Why do I want to remove my tastebuds? Because the tap water in Norman tastes like a cadaver.
Are you on Twitter? If so, follow me, @SpencerLenox.
Thanks! Your message has been sent!