September was the month Gangnam Style became the most “liked” video in You Tube history. Psy is the Korean Hammer. Give it about 14 more minutes. Before you know it he’ll be sitting at a Chili’s in Seoul Skyping with Snow wondering how it all went wrong. Only Snow will talk too fast and Psy will get confused. Then his shift manager Gerardo will tell him to get back to work “Gangnam Style.”
Also, this post concludes our Year in Review series for this week. I’ll pick it back up on Wednesday. Have a happy holidays. If you get a chance, check out our top stories from other months.
What We Said: “Not only has Liz interviewed many “high-powered” officials, but she’s won also “numerous awards in her short career.” Now if only she can refrain from calling McDonald’s customers c-nts, she’ll be on the fast track to success.”
What We Learned: Her initial assessment was correct. McDonald’s is awful. Just horrible. Any McDonald’s makes Wal-Mart look like the classiest place on Earth. According to her bio, Liz is still employed at the station despite her inadvertent and profane Ron Burgundy impression. The best use of the word she used is in this VERY NSFW clip of Bill Hicks. Man oh man. I’ve gotta make that my ringtone.
Best Comment: “This is why you can’t have nice things, Tulsa.” – J Hudd
What We Said: “I’d like the congratulate Mary Fallin for being the victim of one of the lamest hacks in human history. Seriously, I feel like I just looked at my aunt’s Facebook page. I guess this is what happens when you get one of those fishy “LOL check out these pics of you” direct messages.”
What We Learned: We learned even when she gets her Twitter hacked, she’s still the most boring politician we have. Think of the most dynamic person you can muster up. Ok. Now the opposite of that person is our governor. What do we know about her? Bad at Twitter passwords. Bad at speaking like an adult. Bad at pool maintenance. Bad at… Y’know, it’d be better to list what she does well. Let me think….travel. That’s it.
Best Comment: “The 11-year-old girl probably knows how to pronounce the word “government.” – Johnny Utica
What We Said: “But seriously, for whatever reason people think there is NOTHING to do in Oklahoma, especially for us African-Americans. Probably cause there isn’t, or wasn’t, until I made this list. You’re welcome, humanity. You’re welcome.”
What We Learned: We learned you don’t have to be black to do the things listed. For instance, I drive around Edmond and people are scared of me. And I’m white! Edmond folks are jumpy. I hang out at all the Classen bars. I voted for Barack Obama. That’s pretty black of me. It’s also gonna give me a good reason to skip my family’s holiday gatherings. Not because I want to but because all of a sudden I’m not invited. #America!
Best Comment: “You won me with No. 6.” – Steve Lackmeyer (To be fair he said the same thing on the McDonald’s website.)
What We Said: “Through the Ogle Mole Network, we have learned there’s a guy driving the streets of Oklahoma City and filming bad drivers in the act. He’s then posting the footage on YouTube. We’ll call this new vigilant cameraman the “Trafficilante.”
What We Learned: There’s too many “vigilantes” in town documenting things we already know are bad. We need “vigilantes” who show us things we didn’t know existed. Hookers and bad drivers exist. We know. Show us footage of something else, people with way too much time to waste and a video camera. Like the rumored Jack & Ron post show cocaine parties. We hear they save all their good material for those parties. At least we assume they do. They certainly don’t use their good material for on-air broadcast. What’s that? Wow. I stand corrected.
Best Comment: ““That car didn’t even pretend to stop at the stop sign!” – Yeah, I have a tough time getting my car to pretend to do anything too.” – Spence
What We Said: “Sure, it’s nice that old people can enjoy the Thunder and 2% milk and everything, but seriously, if I ever get to the point in life where a cardboard cutout of Kendrick Perkins, a weirdo with a keyboard, and a girl dancing around me with jugs of milk is the highlight of my day, please give me a rope, a chair, and knife to carve “Brooks was Here” on a board. Also, give me a year’s supply of Jenni Carlson columns for extra motivation.”
What We Learned: We learned getting old sucks. I’m not old and I hurt myself so bad tying my shoe and sneezing at the same time yesterday I think my spine broke. The downside to my stupid injury is I don’t have ‘Bertha: The Dancin Milk Maiden’ or cardboard Perk to cheer me up. All I have is Spence in a tank top dancing around me with Del Rancho sacks full of old ‘Jeri Askins For Governor’ campaign buttons while cardboard Jim Traber judges me with gravy/hate filled eyeballs.
Best Comment: “This video makes Logan’s Run seem more reasonable.” – Oswald
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