If you’re like me, readers, you’ve done nothing to prepare yourself for the apocalypse. Sure, you can probably figure out how to start a fire if you really have to, but hunting and gathering aren’t things you’ve prepared for. I have to say, that if the apocalypse happens and I don’t die in the hubbub, then I’m going to search out the strongest and craziest doomsday prepper I can find and then offer them my body in exchange for protection. It’s not a brilliant plan, but it’s all I have. And it’s a little late for me to be stockpiling bottled water and learning how to forage in the wilds of Norman, Oklahoma. If worse comes to worse, I’ll just hole up on the riot floors of the Physical Sciences Center on OU’s campus. There are two floors that aren’t accessible by elevator. They’re completely windowless and concrete, and were made after all the student protests on college campuses in the late sixties. Surely they can withstand a little apocalypse.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Sometimes I try to remember the names of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I know in the Bible they were called really dire things like Plague and Pestilence and Debt Crisis or something like that. But I’m sure they had names their friends called them, like Craig or Thomas. Probably. I won’t fool you into believing that I’ve ever perused a religious tome, because that is not in my nature. Besides, if you ask anyone who has ever told me that I’m going to Hell, they’ll let you know that I won’t be “raptured” and I think this probably applies to any end of the world scenario as well. Either way, after the end of the world, I’ll still be here, chilling.
If you’re like me, there’s no better way to celebrate the end of the world than with tacos. Seriously, is there a better food to ring in the end of days? Yucatan Taco Stand is having a Tacopocalypse for the occasion, complete with taco eating contests, an evening-long raffle, and live music. And don’t forget to try some of the 75+ tequilas they have. I know tequila has played a huge role in my various personal apocalypses, and it will be a great addition to this one as well.
If you make it to Saturday, then it means one of two things: Either the end of the world thing didn’t happen and all is well. Or, (and as I believe to be more plausible) you are stuck in a post-apocalyptic world that will most likely resemble the world of Mad Max, but with hints of The Hunger Games. Sure, you’ll have to learn to survive in the new world and get in good with Master Blaster, since he runs Bartertown and all. But you’ll definitely have time for a party before you get to work. I mean, if you make it past the apocalypse, you need to celebrate that milestone.
And what better way to do it than at City Arts Center with some local comedians and the world premiere screening of Robot Saves City’s first feature film, Clerks Too? I hear in the new world, comedy will be currency, and Derek Smith, our very own Spencer Hicks, and Bradchad Porter will be there to show its true value. And stick around for the screening. It’s a James Nghiem original of someone else’s idea, and I hear that there may be an appearance or two by various TLO contributors throughout the film.
You know when you go to a Thunder game and you’re super stoked about it and you drink and spill beer all over Loud City and you buy a ton of merch from the shop and the only part of the evening that gives you cause to pause is when those two gold dudes climb on each other at half time and you’re all “dang, I miss Red Panda?” You know what I’m talking about? Or, you know when you go to Vegas and all you wanna do is carry a whalebone of booze around the place but someone in your group is all “let’s go see a show!” and suddenly your paying a kajillion dollars to see some weird French mimes hang from ribbons?
If you are familiar with any of that, then you are familiar with Cirque du Soleil. Sure, it’s magical and enchanting and fanciful and awe-inspiring. It’s also kind of weird. And I have a tendency to dwell in the awkward without being able to get past that. If you’re not like me though, then please, attend this show. All the people I know that have gone to see it seem to have loved it. Plus, if you have family in town for the holiday, this may be a good way to get them out of your house and distracted so they’ll stop asking you what you’re doing with your life and making subtle, racist remarks about your significant other’s ethnicity.
And that’s it for this weekend, readers. The world may not have ended, but at least the Christmas season almost has. Stock up on booze for when that Christmas storm rolls in, but for the love, please don’t drink and drive.
“Friday Night in the Big Town” is presented by Lucky Star Casino. Visit LuckyStarCasino.org to check out a full calendar of their events and concerts.
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