Norman wants to use Del City water. That’s not good.

In Norman, there’s always enough $2 Miller High Life tallboys at the local bars that you really don’t need water. Or so I thought. But apparently, there has been a drought, or something. Honestly, I don’t know what’s going on with the weather, readers. Who do I look like? Emily Sutton? Nope. I don’t look like her at all. But her bikini picture has convinced me that I need to start doing triathlons because I’m definitely a lot lumpier than she is.

Anyway, what this is all about is that the city of Norman wants to use water from Del City like we’re neighbors and need some sugar to finish baking a batch of cookies. According to NewsOK.com:

NORMAN — Norman officials are in negotiations with Del City to “borrow” some of its unused allocated water rights at Lake Thunderbird.

Officials hope to increase its allocation on a temporary basis to supplement Norman’s supply, which has dwindled because of an ongoing drought.

City Manager Steve Lewis said Del City has indicated a willingness to help Norman “but, of course, they have to protect their own city so discussions are centering on how to word the contract.”

More than likely, it would be a five-year contract with stipulations written into it to protect Del City’s first-rights to the water, Lewis said.

Well, I suppose if we need the water, we have to borrow it from the people with whom we share Lake Dirtybird. Though, I have to admit, until reading this article, I was fairly sure that the lake was made out the backwash from the Natty Light cans that people threw into a ditch that eventually became that lake. Seems plausible.

But this got me to thinking. If we are going to be neighborly with Del City, perhaps there are other things we can borrow from them. Here I’ve compiled a list of things that Del City can loan to Norman:

Sunnylane Road

Norman has Main Street, and it’s pretty okay. There are tons of businesses, stores, bars, art galleries, and restaurants on it. Admittedly, most of my time is spent there. But maybe I would spend more time on Sunny Lane if it were in Norman and not Del City.

-

JNCOs

When I was in the sixth grade, my mom took me to the Anthony’s in Bryant Square in Edmond, and I got some JNCOs. It was one of the best days of my life. As far as I know, the only place to find JNCOs these days are places like Del City.

-

Insane Clown Posse Mix Tapes

Where ever there are JNCOs, there are also bound to be juggaloes. And sure, we all made fun of that “Miracles” song, but maybe we would get the music if we gave a full record a listen. I like facepaint as much as the next girl, and maybe if I had access to that sort of music, I could like it.

-

An Eagle Talon

In Norman, we have a lot of Jeep Liberties with Kappa Alpha Theta Omega Omicron Pi Delta Theta Mu stickers. There are also a disproportionate amount of new Cameros and Mustangs with similar stickers. But we need a little variety. And an Eagle Talon would be just the automobile to break up the monotony. I’m pretty sure that Del City may be the only place where you can find them.

-

Korean food

It’s no secret that the only reason anyone ever goes to Del City is to eat Korean food. Sometimes you just need some bulgogi or bibimbap. And since there’s a bigger shortage of Korean food in Norman than there is a water shortage, this is really a more pressing concern.

-

Steve Shaw

Hey Steve, we have massage parlors in Norman, too.

-

Crime

In Norman we have our share of noise complaints and DUIs. But we really lack in the violent crime department. And I think Del City has some to spare. And while I don’t like crime, the west side of Norman has been getting pretty uppity lately. They need to be knocked down a peg.