I like to think that I’m the sort of person who has a lot of common sense. I mean, I’m socially awkward and have very few friends and can offend most people with the greatest of ease. But when it comes to situations of a non-social nature, I think I’ve got my life together. I know that I need to finish all my homework before I go out and play, I know that I need to wash the dishes before they grow mold and start to smell funny, and I know that I shouldn’t make a dinner out of microwave popcorn, gummy bears, and Diet Coke. (But it’s a really good dinner, if you ask me.)
I know many things, because I’m an adult and a functioning human being, and I’m making my way in the world just fine. Basically, my existence is like the theme songs from The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Laverne and Shirley mashed up and mixed. But that’s what adult life is like for women. But there are some, apparently, that don’t have the same ease and way with life. Those are the sort of people who have to be reminded to wear a seat belt. Yep, that’s right. There are still people in this world that don’t wear a seat belt. And they should, if not to save their lives, but because OHP is cracking down. According to KFOR.com:
OKLAHOMA CITY – Starting Friday, officers will be out in full force in their latest crackdown, seat belts.
Motorists should be buckling up already but this “Get Your ‘Clicks’ on Route 66” 2013 campaign adds even more of an incentive.
Oklahoma is just one of eight states taking part in the 24-hour seat belt crackdown starting Feb. 1.
OHP Lt. Ben Crockett said, “Seat belts and child car seats are the best way to protect you and your family members in the event of a crash.”
The Route 66 enforcement effort began in 2010 with a handful of law enforcement agencies in central Oklahoma.
Highway Patrol Troopers and State Police Officers from California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Missouri, Kansas and Illinois now join with Oklahoma in this quarterly crackdown focusing on seat belt laws along the famed “Mother Road.”
“During the Route 66 crackdown, we’re out there to remind people that using a seat belt is not only a smart decision, it’s the law,” Crockett said.
According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, about 13,000 lives are saved across the country every year by seat belts and child restraints, and motorists are 75 percent less likely to be killed in rollover crashes if they are buckled up.
Now, I know we all know those sorts of people who will argue that seat belt laws are just another example of the government over stepping their boundaries. Or, those people who say that their life was saved because they didn’t wear a seat belt on one occasion, and now never do. But I think that we can all agree that both those kinds of people are just awful and nobody likes them.
And because I know there will still be people who want to break seat belt laws, I’ve made a list of other safety precautions they can ignore. If not wearing a seat belt saved your life once, imagine how much your life could be saved if you completely threw caution to the wind.
Here they are:
Sure, the doctor went to school for a long time, and so did the pharmacist. But if I know anything, it’s that Jenny McCarthy doesn’t believe in vaccinations because they cause various autism spectrum disorders. This seems like science, and she was pretty funny on MTV’s Singled Out, so her general disdain for medication could probably apply to other areas of medicine. So ignore those labels and see what sort of chemical cocktail you can make in your belly next time you take some Lortab, Xanax, and Wellbutrin. The only reason doctors and pharmacists tell you not to do it is so they can have all the fun.
Max out all your credit cards and never pay your debts
You’re going to die some day (probably soon if you don’t wear a seat belt) and there is no need for you to waste money on things you don’t want. Bills are lame and boring, and you should totally spend all your money on the things you’ve always wanted, like air hockey tables and designer shoes. Live it up. As the kids these days are saying, YOLO.
Anger Mike Morgan with your blog’s comment policy
We all know that Gary England is the weather deity in this state. But Mike Morgan is a level 80 mage with a plus 7 doppler radar and a paragon-level minion, Emily Sutton. Check your game manuals, guys, because there is no way that you’re rolling the dice and getting out of receiving damage. And when Mike Morgan gets angry on a blog, he may call you a wuss. Yeah, that’s right. He said it.
Eat at the State Fair
I know we all love a corndog and fried cheese every now and again. But we have the State Fair photo contest for a reason. Not only is it a subtle form of bullying that shames fat people, drunks, and the more interesting sorts of folks that one normally only encounters in Noble, but it’s a cautionary tale. How long do you think it takes to get Type 2 Diabetes after you walk through those fair gates? It doesn’t matter. You don’t give a damn, you rebel!
That’s all I have to say, readers. Wear your seat belts. Also, listen to The Seatbelts.
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