What’s up, readers? It’s finally Friday and you know what that means. That’s right! It’s time for another weekend that you spend glued to your couch while you watch a Battlestar Galactica marathon on Netflix. That’s the life. But do you remember when you used to go out on the weekends? That was fun, wasn’t it? Well, in case you get the itch to not be a boring hermit this weekend, I’ve got your back. Here’s a list of all the things you ought to do, because seriously, eating pizza straight out of the box and hitting “play next episode” is not a life.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Currently, the best commercial on television is the commercial for Norman Chrysler Jeep and Dodge where Kendrick Perkins refuses to sing “that goofy song.” I especially like the part where Serge Ibaka says “You can do it, Perk!” Personally, if I had Serge telling me that I could do something, I’d probably be a lot more motivated to get things done. The second best commercial on television right now is the Geico commercial where Eddie Money works at a travel agency and keeps singing “Two Tickets to Paradise.”
Now, Eddie Money doesn’t actually work at a travel agency. This isn’t because he isn’t qualified, but really because sites like Priceline and Travelocity have really rendered travel agencies obsolete. So, rather than help folks acquire cruise tickets, Mr. Money is still singing his songs and you can catch him tonight at Lucky Star Casino. Get yourself to Concho, and maybe after the show you can play some slots and win yourself enough to purchase two tickets to paradise.
I’ve got to get something out in the open, readers. I think it’s important that we establish a trusting relationship, otherwise you won’t believe me when I tell you that you should do something every weekend. I’ve come across some information that may shock you. The band, Dr. Pants, is no doctor at all! Not a single member of that band has any sort of medical credentials. This is shocking, to say the least. This means that your insurance provider most likely won’t pay your cover to the next Dr. Pants show.
Regardless, you can get yourself to Kamp’s and hear Dr. Pants as well as Blake Fischer, who I apparently spent the majority of my high school years watching at the Conservatory back when it was the Green Door back when he was in Minutes Too Far. That was a poorly structured sentence, but that’s not the point. The point is that there is great local music at Kamp’s tonight. There is not, however, any sort of medical professional performing. You’ll need to get your yearly physical elsewhere.
When I was in undergrad, I took “History of American Musical Theater” as my upper division western civ credit. It wasn’t that bad because there was no textbook, and we got to watch a lot of movies. However, I was in a classroom full of theater majors, which was probably the worst thing in the world. Seriously, do theater majors know how to shut up? Nope. Do theater majors ever say anything that is half as entertaining as they think it is? Nope. Was my final paper on Mae West and the vaudeville aesthetic the highest scoring paper in the class? Yep. Suck it, theater majors.
If you have a love for American musical theater, or perhaps, hate theater majors less than I do, then you’re in luck this weekend, readers. Get to the Civic Center box office post-haste and buy tickets to hear some songs that you probably have only ever heard performed by Frank Sinatra. Bring your sweetheart and enjoy a night on the town.
That’s all, readers. I love you all, except for the ones I don’t. Have a great weekend and don’t drink and drive.
“Friday Night in the Big Town” is presented by Lucky Star Casino. Visit LuckyStarCasino.org to check out a full calendar of their events and concerts.
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