Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Dante’s Hot Girl For The Month: Ms. February

(Editor’s Note: This gratuitous, yet charming, post was supposed to be published earlier in the month, but we have a very absent-minded editor here and it got skipped. Many apologies to Dante and Ms. February for the delay – Anonymous)

I started writing this article with perfect grammar for those who clearly don’t understand the sarcastic humor, but then I was like fuck that. I’m just gonna write exactly how I want to cause most of y’all don’t even have a college degree. I know that because in my Methods of Social Research class I learned in that only 20% of adults in Oklahoma have college degrees. So be thankful I’ma dumb this down for you. -

Speaking of college degrees from Oklahoma; my hot chick for the month is the OU twirler, Megan McGeary. Don’t like it? Think she’s already on the site too much? Leave a comment about it.

Here are some gratuitous pics of her:

megan twirler

 

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ou twirler cell phone pick

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ou twirler girl 6

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ou twirler girl

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Megan McGeary  OUtwirler

 

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ou twirler girl 2

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ou twirler girl 4

Why the OU Twirler you say? Umm…Cause she loves attention? Umm…Cause she’s an edible? Umm…Cause she can contort into a human swan while spinning a fiery stick? If that doesn’t impress you, don’t eat at Chick Fil-A.

But honestly, I saw her at one of the three OU basketball games I’ve attended since receiving my studentship and I was like… Who’s the sparkly ballerina? Then she whipped out Excalibur and did the most graceful prance routine I’ve seen since that one time at band camp. That’s when I knew if I ever caught her in normal person form, she was automatically getting the 5-Question-Test. I won’t explain what that is and I used dashes just to annoy you. But the unfortunate thing (for Megan) is that I’ve never seen her outside of a halftime performance so I never got to put that mac daddy pimp sauce on the lil’ chicken nugget.

You know what the makes her? Cinderella. And it’s a shame too, because we’re perfect for each other. I mean, we go together like peanut butter & jelly. Better yet, like chocolate & milkshake. How do I know this? My favorite online dating site; Twitter.

“Explain, Dante” – You

Well I just started following this little hellion about 17 days ago and from her Twitter tweets I can tell that she loves to complain just as much as me. That’s perfect; because a woman who complains a lot is a woman who knows what she wants.

So…I made a list of the 5 things we could complain about on our first date.

5. Instagram

I hope the sun never sets again. Daylight Saving Time.

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4. Homeless Shelters

If they’re sheltered, they aren’t homeless… They’re unemployed.

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3. Water

If water has no taste, why are there so many brands of it? Is Dasani even water?

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2. Gun Control

Why’s everyone so mad? It’s not like people don’t die from other things. Cancer doesn’t kill people, people kill people.

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1. People.

The worst kind of people are the ones that talk to you. It’s like, I’m a super famous comedian and writer now. I’m sure she can relate.

Stay Black.

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Comments

  1. How does Patrick forget to post the hot girl of the month article? Too many birthdays? Or too much alcohol on Tuesday nights? If only there was a more obscure local social blog to investigate through their network of sources what is wrong with him.

  2. Just because you state that you aren’t going to be using proper grammar, doesn’t excuse the fact that you write like an idiot. If this is dumbing it down, I’d hate to see you at your “best”. Besides the shitty writing, the pics are great.

  3. 5. Instagram
    -More socially acceptable outlet for pictures of food, selfies, and couples.

    4. Homeless Shelters
    -I wonder how they find time to talk on their 3 free phones.

    3. Water
    -I prefer wine.

    2. Gun Control
    -Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

    1. People
    -Sterilize everyone

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