A little over a month ago, we ran a caption contest for a pic of Al Eschbach hanging out by himself at Hooters. It was pretty funny.
Since then, I’ve received two additional photos of Big Al spending time in the oasis of wings, breasts and uncomfortable chairs. What a cool life I live, huh?
Here’s one of the pics:
Okay, that pic kind of sucks. There’s really nothing special to it. Al and some dude are probably talking about what it feels like to wear a stupid hat. But the email that accompanied the pic, well, it is Ogle Gold.
Check it out. And when you do, have a trashcan nearby:
We’re sitting at Hooter’s Friday and our waitress asks us if we want to hear a gross story. Having one of the two decent waitresses in the place we say, “Sure, have a seat.” She sits down and starts her story saying, “One of my customers was talking about Thailand. He said that they have these strip clubs over there where girls will take frozen ice cream and stick it up their Whoo Ha. They do a dance for you, then squat over a mug and squirt it into the mug. Then it’s up to you if you want to drink it.” Obviously we asked her, “Well, did he drink it?” She said, …
I wish I could, but I can’t tell you what she said. I just can’t. The email continues:
That’s when I asked her, “Was it Al Eschbach?” The look on her face was priceless. She just froze. Then she asked how we knew and made us promise not to tell anybody. This girl really isn’t as smart as her college student working her way through graduate school cover story might imply.
Later she comes back to the table and starts talking about him again and we are milking her for information. She tells us that when he goes to Thailand, he usually takes a girl with him. She said that this last time it was one of her ex coworkers from Hooter’s. He also supposedly took this girl to the Heat game on Valentine’s day. If you have it recorded, maybe she is visible next to him. I remember seeing him sitting under one of the baskets just a few rows back probably blocking two spoiled Edmond kids view with his giant hat.
Obviously the ice cream story may be too much for the site, but who this girl is and why OKC’s most svelte and eligible bachelor chooses to spend his time with her could be very interesting.
Well, I guess we know what the secret ingredient is for Al’s Total Dominance Parmesan! If you think that’s disgusting, you should hear what they do to beer and radishes!
Actually, I take all that back. Let me clarify one important and very legally binding thing:
We have no way of knowing if the story told by the Hooters girl is true. That’s what she told the Moles and that’s all we know. She very well could be lying. Let’s be honest, it’s hard to trust a girl who wears skin-tight orange shorts and flirts with men like Al Eschbach for a living. They’ll tell you anything for a buck. Plus, it’s not like I can call Al on the air and ask him if he’s ever drank Whoo Ha Ice Cream. They no longer air Stump the Chump, right? And if I did, they’d probably just confuse me for Barry Switzer.
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