5 organizations that could replace Oklahoma’s Legislature

When Governor Mary Fallin was elected, she promised to bring hope and change to the way our state government does business. She started consolidating state offices in the hopes that it would save taxpayer dollars.

That’s something where Mary Fallin and I agree, I’m all for efficient state government and think it should be taken a step farther, we should outsource our legislature. It really upsets me that our representatives and senators make at least $40K for a few months work… and during the months of session, they take Friday off, you know, just like at your job!

So, lets find some organizations that are already in place that we could have come in for a few months and decide our laws:

5. The National Rifle Association

According to the “Brief History of the NRA” section of their website:

Dismayed by the lack of marksmanship shown by their troops, Union veterans Col. William C. Church and Gen. George Wingate formed the National Rifle Association in 1871. The primary goal of the association would be to “promote and encourage rifle shooting on a scientific basis,” according to a magazine editorial written by Church.

I wonder if Ackerman-McQueen wrote that?

It’s a good thing they got away from all that “science” stuff. Regardless, I love guns and am a gun owner. Having the NRA run our state’s government would save us a lot of time and money because they care about the constitution and stuff.

4. LifeChurch

America was founded by Jesus Christ when he came over on the Nina, the Pinto and Santa Margarita 6000 years ago. Then, in 1777 Thomas Jefferson came along and with the Establishment Clause and ruined it for all the non-denominational that were living here peacefully.

Having LifeChurch run our state would be awesome. We would be forgiven for all our sin and would only have to give them 10% of our money! Wait. That’s higher than the state income tax. At least the pledge of allegiance would be changed to a wicked-awesome alt-rock praise and worship song. How awesome would that be!?!?

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3. Hobby Lobby

Wouldn’t it be great it our government was run like a business? Women would finally be put in the backseat, once and for all.* Chinese translations of English would be our official language; we’d get discounts on bibles and art supplies because we would buy in bulk; and we wouldn’t have to worry about budget deficits because even when our Chinese made American flags were on sale, there would still be a markup!

*Sarcasm, ladies.

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2. Energy Companies

Wait, they already run the legislature.

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1. Goodwill

Here is the amazing thing about Goodwill: They are given goods for free, and then turn around and sell it for a profit. Sometimes they pay their workers less than minimum wage. Also, the CEO (and other executives) make ALOT of money… money that doesn’t go to help anyone. How great of a business model is that! Hell, it’s almost like our government.

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Well, I hope you enjoyed your ride on the cynical train. In truth, our government is a mixture of all of these organizations. It’s just too bad we don’t have any big corporate sponsors that lobby for sane laws. Anycrap, if you feel like following me on Twitter – @SpencerLenox.