The boy pictured above is Brie Florence. Like most 19-year-olds, he’s stupid. Unlike most 19-year-old, he’s not afraid to admit it. It’s just kind of sad he had to rob a woman to realize it.
A man accused of attacking a woman over $15 admitted his stupidity to police, court papers show.
Brie Florence, 19, was arrested Saturday on a complaint of robbery by force in the 2700 block of SW 68.
He was being held Tuesday in the Oklahoma County jail, with bail set at $20,000.
Florence is accused of knocking the woman down, kicking her and forcibly taking $15. He then fled the scene, according to a probable cause affidavit.
When police caught up with Florence and asked him “why this happened,” he answered, “Because I’m (expletive) stupid,” an officer reported.
You know how the scary part of any robot story is the part where the robots become sentient? At least, I assume that’s the scary part. I haven’t been exposed to many robot tales. I read the Isaac Asimov short-short about the cyborg that left home and went to art school, but that’s about it. Unless you count the Facebook update by Spencer about the Sonic menu speaking to him in Arabic. I’m not sure if it was fiction, but it was entertaining.
Anyway, what will happen if local criminals become self aware like sci-fi robots? Sure, it’s great that people realize their mistakes, but what does this mean for the future of The Lost Ogle? Where would this blog be without Darth Tulsan, Golden Huffer, or the Diaper Bandit? If all the stupid weirdos in this state are going to realize that they’re stupid weirdos, we’re going to be in trouble.
We are a little worried that the minute these transgressors realize how the rest of the world perceives them, we may not have enough content for daily updates. Sure, we’ll still have our state legislators and severe weather ties to talk about, but we’ve already held an emergency TLO meeting to discuss other possible sources of content. I’m going to have a baby and try my hand at mommy blogging to fill up some space here.
In all seriousness, I hope the woman who was attacked is okay, and I hope our little robber has time to overcome his (expletive) stupidity and learn how to do a cost benefit analysis of his situation. It would seem that $15 isn’t worth the $20,000 bond. I at least hope he got to spend it all before he was caught.
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