It’s been a while since we’ve written about NewsOK’s Dave Morris. Back in our early days, the guy was always good for a cheap punchline or two. He had all the qualifications. He played keyboard in a cheesy rock band, took pics like the one above, and pees sitting down. He also had a hot wife. Basically, he offered an unlimited supply of TLO-worthy material. He was like Christina Fallin, only without the pink hair and an even longer face.
As the years have passed, we gradually quit writing about “Know Your Mo.” I chalk this up to him being out of sight and out of mind. You see, a few years ago I finally installed Flash Block on my web browser. This means I no longer see Dave in those annoying NewsOK’s auto-play videos that accompany every article and alert your co-workers that you’re goofing off on the Internet. Those videos are only cool when Jennifer Wardlow tells you about a bank robbery on the southside from a really odd camera angle. Or when this happens.
Another reason we quit writing about Dave is that he’s actually a nice guy. I’ve met him a few times and he hasn’t tried to beat me up once! On the other hand, his hot wife was terrifying. The one time I met her I thought she was going to grow wolverine claws and tear out my soul. She told me I was a terrible person, the scum of the earth and dirtier than AIDS. At least I think that’s what she said. I was too distracted by at her perky breasts.
Anyway, apparently Dave and Hotzilla divorced over the summer. I learned about this a couple of weeks ago when a high level Ogle Mole informed me that Dave is now dating this local media hottie:
Yep, Dave Morris and Channel 25′s Jaime Cerreta are now an item. Mike Stoops is going to be pissed.
Anyway, I’m not 100% sure what to think about this. They kind of seem like an odd couple, but then again, I can totally see them watching Cougar Town together while eating Buy For Less sushi. I guess we should take the high road and be happy for the couple, although I’m going to feel really guilty the next time Jaime tries to seduce me at Edna’s.
Just kidding. I won’t. Once again, I’m just trying to take the high road.
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