Ogle Madness VI: First Round, Midwest Region (Lower Bracket)

Ogle Madness VI rolls on this Tuesday afternoon featuring some Oklahoma favorites, including our beloved mayor, Carrie Underwood and the most homophobic Oklahoman I’m NOT related to. This is gonna be a fun one. Not as fun as a sizzurp binge that ends up maybe killing us, but fun nonetheless.

Here’s your match ups for after the jump. The other half of the Midwest Region is located here:

(6) Mayor Mick Cornett vs. (11) Miss Oklahoma

(3) The Ogle Brothers vs. (14) Sally Kern

(7) Al Eschbach vs. (10) Abigail Ogle

(2) Carrie Underwood vs. (15) 2012 Christmas “Blizzard”

Vote on!

(6) Mayor Mick Cornett vs. (11) Miss Oklahoma

Conference: Bad Ass Mayors Who Get Towns Basketball Teams

Who he is: Mayor of Oklahoma City. He also sometimes plays trivia at Speakeasy.

Biggest Strengths: You do know we have an NBA team now, right?

Biggest Weaknesses: Awarding him a lifetime position as mayor isn’t a thing.

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(11) Miss Oklahoma 

Conference: Attractive Pageant Winners Not Named Jane Jayroe

Who she is: 2012 Miss Oklahoma

Biggest Strengths: Waving, smiling, tap dancing, waving, smiling, tap dancing (never all at the same time)

Biggest Weaknesses: Isn’t dating Kenny Powers anymore.

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(3) The Ogle Brothers vs. (14) Sally Kern

Conference: Brothers Ogle

Who they are: Kent, Kelly and Kevin Ogle, the least threatening things involving 3 K’s in this state.

Biggest Strengths: Combined they can bench press the Devon Tower

Biggest Weaknesses: There is no “All Ogle” newscast

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(14) Sally Kern

Conference: Homophobic State Representatives

Who she is: Homophobic State Representative from District 84

Biggest Strengths: Her ability to dwell in both this world and the hate filled utopia of her mind.

Biggest Weaknesses: Is a homophobic, slightly racist, politician with a platform.

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(7) Al Eschbach vs. (10) Abigail Ogle

(7) Al Eschbach

Conference: Short Sports Talk Hosts

Who he is: Sports Animal radio host. Fan of Hooters. World Traveler.

Biggest Strengths: Ability to pick up Hooters girls that should be dating his son.

Biggest Weaknesses: Hasn’t given up on the “Fedoras are gonna be huge again!” craze.

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(10) Abigail Ogle 

Conference: Ogle Humans We’d Like To be Related To

Who she is: Kevin Ogle’s Daughter and host of some thing on KSBI. Probably. Who knows.

Biggest Strengths: The Sofia Coppola of local news broadcasting and also the way she looks.

Biggest Weaknesses: I’m not sure when or where you can see her on the TV.

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(2) Carrie Underwood vs. (15) 2012 Oklahoma “Blizzard”

(2) Carrie Underwood

Conference: Female country singers from Oklahoma not named Reba.

Who she is: Country Superstar

Biggest Strengths: Have you heard her sing? She’s got crazy pipes. She’s not Taylor Swift.

Biggest Weaknesses: Thinks this is a good idea

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(15) 2012 Christmas “Blizzard”

Conference: Non-existent white thing that disappointed many  existing white things.

What It Is: An apocalyptic orgy of ice and snow that never materialized.

Biggest Strength: Getting people to cancel holiday plans with loved ones.

Biggest Weakness: Left us with a surplus of bread and milk.

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