Let’s rig the Gazette’s “Best of OKC.” Nominate Sparkle Titsworth as “Best Community Leader.”

10:41 AM EDT on June 20, 2013

The Oklahoma Gazette is currently seeking nominations for their annual advertorial "The Best of OKC." In the past, we've encouraged our readers to nominate TLO for categories like "Best Local Blog" or "People I Really Want To Sleep With."

This year, we're not diving down to those lowly depths of pathetic pandering. Instead, we would like to encourage you to nominate Sparkle Titsworth as our town's "Best Community Leader." Why are we asking you to do this? Because why the hell not.

In case you forget, Sparkle Titsworth is the Oklahoma City woman with an awesome name who won $1,000 in gas from 7-11 a few years ago. A camera phone photo of a poster that included her name went viral, and we've loved her ever since. Here's a pic of Sparkle claiming her prize.

sparkle titsworth oklahoma city gas card

So, there you have it. Go to OklahomaGazette.com and nominate Sparkle Titsworth as OKC's next great "Community Leader." Then give yourself a pat on the back for doing something awesome.

But before you do, I have to warn you about one thing.

The Gazette apparently wants to make this process as complicated as possible, and you have to submit a nomination for 27 different categories for your ballot to count. Because of that, I’ve provided some suggestions for other categories, too. Just copy and paste them over when you fill out your ballot. If most of our nominees make the cut, this whole “Best Of OKC” sham will be a lot more fun.

Check them out:

1. Best radio personality or team: Nugget

I think Nugget is on the WILD Whatever morning show. I’m going with him just so we can post this awkward photo again:

He looks like a nugget. Whatever that means.

2. Best person to follow on social media: Abigail Ogle

Abigail isn’t the best person to follow on social media. I just think it would be hysterical to watch her take the nomination seriously and encourage her fake followers and "fans" to go vote. Please, don't tell her it's all part of a big joke.

3. Best Smartphone App: Look at OKC

I don’t know if “Look at OKC” has an app, but it will be funny to see the Gazette have to recognize their competition.

4. Best website or blog: Keep It Local OK Blows Balls

We’re nominated for this every year, and I think every year we’ve lost to the Keep It Local discount card website. Because of that, I’d encourage you to vote for this new blog I discovered. It is called KeepItLocalBlowsBalls.Blogspot.com. It's pretty fun.

5. Best Community Leader: Sparkle Titsworth

We’ve already covered this. Please nominate Sparkle Titsworth. If she wins this thing, we should all pitch in and buy her a 7-11 gasoline gift card.

6. Best Chef: Rick, KFC

7. Best Bartender: Addison Riley, Chili’s in Edmond

Addison is my little brother and is a frat boy at UCO. He's never really won at anything in life, so this would be nice. Also, his first name is “Addison.” If you ever stop in to see him, order an El Presidente Margarita thing and call him “Addy.” He’ll love that.