The Oklahoma Gazette released yesterday its annual “Best of OKC” issue. Evidently there was a mix-up or Keep It Local’s interns were having trouble accessing the Internet, because we were named the “Best Website or Local Blog.”
Here’s our fancy write-up.
THE LOST OGLE
If you doubt the snark and bite of The Lost Ogle, just ask Skip Bayless, Jim Traber, Christina Fallin, Wayne Coyne or anyone else who has been on TLO’s receiving end. The site’s mix of satire, gossip, musings and odes to bikini-clad TV news babes has made it a must-read for Gazette readers. Take that, Sparkle Titsworth!
2. NewsOK, newsok.com
3. Keep It Local OK, keepitlocalok.com
Worth mentioning: Daily Thunder, dailythunder.com; Foodie Robots, foodierobots.com
Uhm, how did this happen? I thought everyone was supposed to go vote for Daily Thunder. Maybe our readers got the “Best of OKC” confused with the “Worst of OKC.” Based on all the hate mail we receive, that wouldn’t surprise me.
Actually, I’m just pretending to be humble like Kevin Durant. Winning things like this is awesome. It feels so good to finally beat the Blog We’ve Never Heard Of, The State’s Most Trusted News and that Coupon Club Website That’s Run By Dodge Ball Cheaters. Sure, I feel kind of guilty that we destroyed Daily Thunder like a $7 beer at the Peake, but he’ll get over it the next time Bill Simmons’ name drops him in a column. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised. Just like how Mark Rodgers never wins an argument against his mentor Jim Traber, Daily Thunder will never beat The Lost Ogle in a web poll. At least for the next year or two.
Anyway, “Best Local Blog or Website” wasn’t the only category where Gazette readers screwed-up and picked the wrong choice. Let’s take a look at other categories that had questionable winners:
1. Best Italian restaurant: Zio’s
Really? Zios??? The only good thing about eating there is that you can write “Help Me! I’m eating at Zio’s” in crayon on the paper table cover.
Actually, Zio’s isn’t that bad if you like generic big-box Italian food. In fact, it was my favorite Italian restaurant in the early 2000s when I was in college. This was also a time in my life when I had a “frosty top” haircut, AOL email address and dated a girl whose favorite bands were Staind and Linkin Park. Basically, it was a dark age when I didn’t know any better.
Better Choice: Vito’s on North May.
2. Best Pho restaurant: Pho Lien Hoa
I’m not a big foodie, but doesn’t all Pho kind of taste the same (especially after you load it up with the Sriracha, bean sprouts and basil / mint / whatever)? I’ve probably been to 10 Pho places around town and can’t tell a difference. It’s like the grilled Italian marinated chicken breast of Asian foods. That’s why I care more about cleanliness rather than the quality of the food when selecting my noodle soup.
Better Choice: Phonomenal (it seems clean)
3. Best Local Author: Ralph Ellison
Yep, the Gazette honored a man who died in 1994 and lived most of his life back East as “The Best Local Author.” I think I may write a short story just so I can nominate myself for this next year.
Better Choice: KFOR’s Sara Celi (just kidding)
4. Best Smartphone App: 4WARNME
Let me share an email I received earlier today:
Just hoping you’ll include a poll on local news websites and apps.
You can barely get to the news on some of websites due to garbage ads and others use weather forecast feeds that aren’t as accurate as their own forecasts. And why does channel 4 have three apps yet make make it hard to tell what the “Breaking News” is?
Thanks and keep up the good work.
Great question about Channel 4 Apps. Why do they have three of them? Also, they should include a disclaimer that states they don’t work if you’re inside a dark, murky 1960s bomb shelter.
Better Choice: Why’s this even a category? Do people even use apps anymore for websites?
5. Best Local Singer/Songwriter: Carrie Underwood
She’s hot, incredibly talented and can really wail. If she were president, she’d be “Baberaham Lincoln.” Of course, she’s also never lived in Oklahoma City and has probably never written a decent song in her life.
Better Choice: Woody Guthrie (Hey, if Ralph Ellison can be the best author…)
6. Best Person to Follow on Social Media: Kevin Durant
Three or four years ago, I was having drinks with a Gazette staffer and we were talking about some possible “Best Of” categories. Twitter was just taking off, and I suggested “How About Best Person to Follow on Twitter.” If I could go back in time and take it back, I would.
Better Choice: Eliminate this category please
7. Best place to find the perfect gift: Moore Liquor
Back when I worked in the corporate world, I was the guy who would bring a bottle of Crown Royal for the Secret / Dirty Santa game at the company Christmas party. It would always get stolen three times, and then people would argue if it was two or three touches that froze it and all that good stuff.
Point being, I know alcohol can make a great gift, but it’s far from the perfect gift. Even if it were, I doubt a liquor store in Moore, Oklahoma that’s known for funny marquee signs would be the best place to get that perfect gift.
Better Choice: Walgreens Gift Card Section
8. Best (national or regional) retail establishment you wish wasn’t a chain: Whole Foods Market
Can we please get over our bizarre infatuation with this place? We get it. It has a cool ambience. It’s a fun place to shop if you want to look cool and hip and pay more for groceries. But please, can we stop worshipping it?
Also, what does this category even mean? Why does it matter if it’s local or not? I think a better category would be best local place we wish was a chain.
Better Choice: Sonic
9. Best place to take out-of-towners: OKC Thunder Game
Can you think of any other “Big League City” that would rank an NBA basketball game as the “Best Place to Take Out-Of-Towners?” We still got some growing up to do.
Better Choice: Will Rogers World Airport
10. Best adult entertainment establishment: Christie’s Toy Box
Patricia’s got screwed. Christie’s Toy Box is about as dirty and gross as an old man’s handkerchief. Patricia’s is classy and nice like Emily Sutton dancing on a rainbow. And no, I’m not just saying that because Patricia’s is a long-time supporter of this site. Well, that could have a little bit to do with it.
Better Choice: Patricia’s Gift Shop
11. Best new retail establishment to open after 6-1-12: Tree and Leaf Clothing
I know the years are starting to blend together, but I’m pretty sure Tree and Leaf has been selling TLO and Daily Thunder t-shirts for a couple of years now. I think they’ve been open for more than a year.
Better Choice: B.C. Clark Jewelers
12. Best barbecue restaurant: Earl’s Rib Palace
Back at my old job, my boss and the company’s other directors would eat at Earl’s several times a week. I’d occasionally go with them. I’d always noticed that no one would ever actually order BBQ. They’d get a burger, or chicken sandwich or salad. If you’re the best BBQ joint, shouldn’t people actually eat the BBQ at your restaurant.
Better Choice: Iron Starr
13. Best Community Leader: Kevin Durant
Yep, the guy who lives in Oklahoma City for six months out of the year is our best Community Leader. I’m not saying that he’s not good or kind to Oklahoma City, but most professional athletes are like that. At least when/if KD bolts for the Lakers, Knicks or Magic in 2015, we’ll all get a good laugh out of this.
Better Choice: Sparkle Titsworth
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