Those Ogles sure can smirk.
Last month, the local rag “Distinctly Oklahoma” ran a cover feature on the Ogle family. The fluff piece provides a brief profile on the rise of each member of the “Ogle Dynasty,” including the late patriarch Jack (Original Ogle), Kevin (Frankenogle), Kent (Forgotten Ogle), Kelly (Pube-hair Ogle), and Abigail (a.k.a. Buy 10,000 fake Twitter followers Ogle).
In addition to reading like a sponsored advertorial, I have three major complaints about the piece:
1. They went with the State Capitol in the background photo shoot. Are they running for Governor or something? Unless it’s photoshopped, I’m pretty sure they took that photograph in front of the big window at the Oklahoma History Center. That place has turned into the Crystal Bridge of the 1990s, as in it’s the first place sad photographers turn when they’ve either given up on life or lost every ounce of creativity.
2. We didn’t get a shout out. Can you really mention the Ogle Dynasty without bringing up The Lost Ogle? That would be like writing an article about Valley Brook and not mentioning strippers. They’re equally important to each other.
3. It didn’t mention anything about Grammy winning bluegrass musician Ricky Skaggs. Thanks to a tip through the Ogle Mole Network, we have learned there is a 98% chance that Ricky Skaggs is the real lost Ogle. Just check out these photographs:
Uhm, anyone else think we need to get Ricky Skaggs and Kevin Ogle on Maury immediately? We already know they are related. Now we just need to figure out in what way. I think the odds of Kevin Ogle being “The Lost Skaggs” are about as high as Ricky being “The Lost Ogle.” They seriously could be twins. The only difference is that Ricky looks like he just ate Ali Meyer.
Of course, these is also a chance that Kenny is some shapeshifter with a fondness for KFOR employees. Check out this other pic I found:
Maybe that’s a little bit of a stretch, but doesn’t that look like Bob Barry Jr and /or Blobert Allen? If you told me that Jack Ogle and Bob Barry Sr. were part of some twisted experiment that was the inspiration for the 1980s flick Twins, I’d probably believe you.
If those pics don’t do it for you, check out this self of Ricky’s daughter Molly:
Okay, so one’s blonde and the other is a brunette, but they both share Ogle – Skaggs traits and like taking Instagram and Facebook photos. Plus, they are both going into their fathers occupations. Molly is an aspiring musician and Abigail is an aspiring newscaster. Creepy, huh?
Anyway, if anyone can find any other similarities between the two families, let us know. Maybe if we provide enough information, Distinctly Oklahoma can arrange a meeting between the two at the Oklahoma History Center and write an article about it.
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