Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

State Rep Aaron Stiles blamed evil atheists for the Satanic Monument…

aaron stiles

The baby-faced Chris Hansen impersonator pictured above is State Rep Aaron Stiles. He’s one of the more colorful / bat-shit crazy members of the Derplahoman caucus of the Oklahoma State House.

Recently, Stiles went to Facebook to complain about the Baphomet statue that the Satanic Temple wants to build at the Capitol. In a status update, he blames the entire thing on atheists and then calls them out for not contributing anything to our state’s culture.

Check it out:

aaron stiles athiests

Yes, I agree with that 100%.

First of all, the laws of Oklahoma are heavily grounded in the 10 Commandments. That’s why we still hang adulterers, and have such strict laws that prevent the coveting of your neighbor’s ox. Also, you can’t pick up a newspaper today without reading an article about some atheist organization filing a frivolous lawsuit to get evolution, the big bang theory or some other controversial, totally baseless belief taught in our public schools. Every time they passed one of those ideological / unconstitutional laws, we just know it’s just going to be tossed out in the courts. When are these atheists going to respect our laws and customs (and stop creating deficits) by trying to change the recorded history that the Earth was created as-is 6,000 years ago by a supernatural, all-knowing and all-powerful being that demands you live life according to his rules and laws.

Of course, there is one problem with Stiles’ post. At last check, atheists didn’t have anything to do with the Baphomet monument. Sure, I bet they think it’s hysterical and everything, but it was proposed by the Satanic Temple.

Obviously, this oversight / Freudian slip raised a few eyebrows from Stiles’ followers:

stiles athiests comments 2 athiest comment 3 athiest comment 4athiest comment 6athiest comment 5

Oops, those are just a few of the many comments where people agree with Stiles’ statement. Here’s one where someone actually called him out:

stiles athiests comment 1

To Stiles’ credit, he responded:

aaron stiles athiests

Oh, so I guess it was just a false alarm. Stiles made the common mistake of mixing up godless atheists with heathenistic Satanists. I’m sure it was just a simple mistake and not a big deal at all. I doubt Stiles would mind if some atheists confused all Christians with child molesting priests from the Catholic church. He’d totally be cool with it.

In all seriousness, I guess we shouldn’t be too surprised about Aaron Stiles’ gaff. As I mentioned above, he is one of the golden boys of the Derplahoman caucus. Just check out his impressive list of accomplishments:

• In 2007, Stiles was accused of disturbing the peace at a Sonic in Norman. Apparently, he demanded a refund because he had to wait too long for his food. When he was told the refund would take an additional 5 – 10 minutes, he allegedly banged on the drive-thru window and cussed at the workers. We know this because instead of throwing cold tater tots at him, Sonic employees filed a police report.

• Following a road rage incident in 2008, Stiles allegedly threatened to shoot his neighbor and the neighbor’s eight-year-old daughter. Uhm, if our laws are based off the 10 Commandments, wouldn’t that be really illegal? I guess it’s okay, though. We’ve all probably done that once or twice when pretending to be a lunatic, but Stiles took things to an even crazier level when he later allegedly spotted the same neighbor at a traffic light, flipped him off and then tried to pick a fight. We know all this thanks to police reports (1 & 2).

• He apparently lied about his military service record. According to the Norman Transcript, Stiles claimed on his campaign website to receive military service medals that he technically didn’t earn. Stiles chalked it up to a simple error. I believe him. We’ve all made mistakes when trying to blatantly embellish accomplishments on our resume.

• In 2011, Stiles allegedly flipped out at a Women’s History lecture at the University of OklahomaClark Matthews covered this when it happened, but apparently Stiles was upset that a public lecture on “Why Women’s History Matters” was being held the same day as an event for the pro-life Eden Clinic. He caused a scene, tried to get the lecture cancelled and claimed to be a member of Capitol security. Or something like that. After the meltdown, he issued a press released claiming that attendees at the lecture were unruly pro-abortion protesters, yelling totally normal pro-abortion things like “We love abortion! We love killing babies!” The attendees emphatically denied the claims, setting up a classic “he said, she said” between Women’s History buffs and a nutty state rep who loses his cool at Sonic and lies about his military record.

I don’t know about you, but maybe the 10 Commandments are not as grounded in Oklahoma law as Stiles seems to think. Because if they were, there’s a good chance Stiles would probably be locked away in a dungeon right now. Maybe he should write a post on Facebook thanking atheists, and Satanists and all others who haven’t contributed a thing to society for that .

 

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Comments

  1. Holy shit..I had to take a psychological assessment to get a job at AT&T answering telephones, but I guess the people that make our laws ain’t so picky…

  2. So the atheists, er, Satanists, have done nothing more than”expend taxpayer dollars for frivolous lawsuits . . .” Finally, someone in the Republican party has come clean about who is behind our Tea Partying’s Attorney General’s goofy Obamacare challenges.

  3. Maybe someone should teach out legislature what the “One Subject Rule” is. Then we could save tens of millions of dollars on “frivolous lawsuits”.

  4. Oh Oklahoma politics, don’t ever change. Actually, never mind…please change now. We’ve had enough.

  5. Stiles is the definition of “little big man syndrome”. He’s a teeny-tiny little guy who spins off for no reason. @CAP1015, he’s my nominee for d-bag of the decade. It really is hard to believe this fool got elected. (albeit by a razor thin margin)

  6. Wow, it’s like Sally Kerns and Mark Wayne Mullins had a love child and named him Aaron Stiles. He’s a bit nuttier than that guy in southeast OK who wanted to put the protective vest on the fighting roosters.

  7. “I also have an eight year old daughter who doesn’t hear, nearly often enough, that she should be shot in the face, I was advised you could help with that sort of thing”

    ~ Can we please let some trollin commence??

  8. A gaff is a stick with a hook.

    Stiles committed a gaffe, “an unintentional act or remark causing embarrassment to its originator.”

    But, a gaff could be used to pull him offstage after that gaffe.

  9. Back in the early ’80s a man and woman would show up at OU about twice a year and call everyone whoremongers and tell us we were all going to hell. I am thinking Stiles is about the right age to be their love child.

  10. I’d ask how this cretin got elected, but having been born and raised in Oklahoma before I escaped, I know only too well.

  11. I know this guy personally. He’s an absolute nut. He was the interim youth pastor at my old church–and he hated my mom. NOBODY hates my mom. She’s the modern day equivalent to Florence Henderson. I’ve also heard he owns the Red Room in Norman, which is gross.

    • That’s okay Jamie—-everyone in his old National Guard unit hates him.

      That’s quite an accomplishment btw :-O

  12. My husband grew up with him and his name used to be Aaron Glasgow. He changed his name because he thought Aaron Stiles sounded more political. So who knows what crimes he committed under his former name.

  13. No, No, No…..You have it all wrong…The name change is nice and Aryan sounding.
    We can’t let a guy named Glasgow lead us into a religion based crusade to eliminate those whose religious beliefs are different than theirs.
    Stiles is much better sounding. Why it even has 6 letters just like the name Hitler!

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