Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Emily Sutton is vacationing at Sea World…

Apparently Emily Sutton didn’t get the memo that we’re all supposed to hate Sea World.

Thanks to some Tweets and Instagram photos, we have learned that the Oklahoma City Weather Diva is vacationing in Orlando. Here’s a video she posted from the water park of dolphins being forced to perform backflips for easily entertained humans:

You know how they say dolphins are self-aware? Well, I wonder if they knew Emily Sutton was there watching them. If so, do you think it made them nervous and flustered? Probably so. There’s a reason the Oklahoma City Magic Club (a.k.a. The League of Virgins) has banned Emily from all future shows and performances. The guy with the tiny Frank Keating head on the front row still hasn’t been able to perform a card trick since he met Emily.

In addition to watching dolphins be mistreated, Emily saw a frackin’ manatee. Here’s that video:

I’m not going to lie to you. The manatee is seriously one of my favorite animals. And no, I’m not talking about the girls who dance on the country side of Graham’s. I’m referring to the sea cow. Back when I was a bachelor in the early 2000s, I had a poster of two manatees taped to my fridge (I’m not joking). This was primarily to remind me not eat, but also to show the girl’s from hip hop side of Graham’s that I’m a gentile, sensitive guy. Maybe it’s time I do that again.

Anyway, we hope Emily has fun on her Orlando vacation. Maybe she’ll go to Disney World today and post more pictures and videos. Also, let’s hope her serious fireman boyfriend is stuck in Oklahoma being a hero and not in Orlando popping the question. That would be sadder than watching Blackfish with chicks from Graham’s.

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Comments

  1. Barbara Manatee, you are the one for me.
    Sent from up above, you are the one I love .

    [excerpt from "Endangered Love"]

  2. This story rings a sad tone for me. It reminds me that my wife used to resemble the perky sprite that is Emily Sutton, and after 30 years has morphed into a sea cow.

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