Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Hey hipsters, OKC is getting its first ever organic juice bar…

organic squeeze okc

Have you ever been to Jamba Juice and thought, “I must really hate my body because I’m putting all these harsh chemicals in it.” Well NO MORE! OKC is getting its first organic juice bar. That’s right, drinking juice just became more pretentious. No wonder we are such a fat state, the juices we’ve been pouring down our face hole has come from non-organic fruits and vegetables.

From KFOR.com:

The Oklahoma City metro’s first organic juice bar is set to open Tuesday.

Organic Squeeze offers a wide range of organic juices, smoothies and snacks.

The juice bar is the first of its kind in the Oklahoma City area.

Owner Robert Rhodes said, “When drinking juice you are giving your body exactly what it needs.”

Rhodes and his brother grew up in south Texas where, as teenagers, their mom began juicing.

After their mom began juicing, she went on the win the Tour de France a record 7 times! She also played for the Yankees.

While they weren’t sure of the idea at first, it quickly grew on them as they began to feel healthier.

Over the years they have experimented, creating their own juice blends.

Rhodes said they have wanted to open a juice bar in Oklahoma City for years to share those recipes with others but they never felt the timing was right, until now.

Rhodes said, “With Whole Foods moving in and what they are doing for this area, we feel it’s an ideal time.”

Wait… as teenagers they began to feel healthier? How does anything feel healthy during puberty? Also, I knew bringing a Whole Foods into OKC would attract the wrong type of crowd. Thanks, Aubrey.

Rhodes said it’s an exciting time for his family.

He said they have had an overwhelming response from potential customers who can’t wait until the doors open.

“It’s a lot of work but it’s so exciting,” Rhodes said. “Everyone that we’ve talked to is so excited that we’re bringing juice to Oklahoma City.”

In all seriousness, I wish Organic Squeeze nothing but success, but I think if you really wanna drive customers into your store you need to rethink the name. Maybe “Orgasmic Squeeze.” Hell, I’d pop in there to see what a store like that was all about. Or maybe change the name to “Orange Julius,” and sell Orange Julius’ that don’t require me to park at Quail Springs Mall. Then again, Nichols Hills Plaza can be just as bad. Screw it. Organic Squeeze it is.

If you ‘d like to see my juicing recipes, you can find them on Twitter @SpencerLenox.

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Comments

  1. If these guys had any sense of the market they’ve just entered, they’d lay off sending press releases to local tv stations, rattle off a few inflammatory anti-gay and borderline racist remarks about Obama, claim they were being persecuted by the liberal establishment in response, and the next day 10,000 Derplahomans would line up to show their support by buying organic juice they’d otherwise never drink.

  2. Everything about hipsters makes me want to stand outside the door of this place and just kick everyone who walks out right in the ass.

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