Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Now the OU football team even sucks at cheating…

ou girls

It looks like Oklahoma is officially back.

Less than two months after the Sooners throttled Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, a report by The Oklahoman revealed that the University recently self-reported a variety of NCAA violations.

From The Oklahoman:

In the past year and a half, Oklahoma self-reported secondary NCAA violations, which were recently obtained by The Oklahoman through an open records request. The latest violation received occurred in October.

The violations range from the routine, coaches sending texts or making calls outside of the designated allowed contact times, to the absurd. Three athletes had to donate $3.83 each to a charity of their choice in order to be reinstated after they were served more than the allowable portion at a graduation banquet.

 

$3.83 for extra pasta? Maybe they should have just waited and had the banquet during the Olive Garden’s “Never Ending Pasta Bowl.” Not only do you get all the pasta you can eat, but unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks, too. It’s a great deal if you’re lonely and sad.

Of course, this story found it’s way to Deadspin and then proceeded to spread across the Internet like one of those damn Buzzfeed “What State Should I live In” or “What Game of Thrones Character I am” quizzes. Seriously, everyone covered it. The KFOR Social Media Bandit even tried to have a fun with it:

OU Pasta Penalty: Three OU players penalized for carb loading

People are calling it the “Pasta Penalty.” This is just one example of just how ridiculous some NCAA rules can be regarding athletes.

All-American center Gabe Ikard, who is also a straight A student, apparently had a hankering for pasta at the fall OU graduation Banquet.

Ikard and a couple of his teammates ended up eating more pasta than NCAA rules allow.

Because the OU players loaded up on the carbs, technically the trio temporarily lost their eligibility.

They actually had to pay $3.83 a piece, which was the cost of each individual pasta serving, to the charity of their choice to get back in good standing with the NCAA.

Last night, the NCAA tweeted about the issue. They’re claiming that OU overreacted and the extra pasta was fine.

Whew, that’s kind of a relief. We don’t want to tarnish OU’s long tradition and history of cheating. Penalties for eating too much pasta? What happened to the good old days when our quarterbacks sold crack, were given cars or simply got paid for not working.

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Comments

  1. Seriously, WTF does Gabe Ikard’s being a “straight A student” have to do with his desire to shovel some extra (and apparently very delicious) pasta down his gullet?

  2. Gabe Ikard: You want answers?
    Compliance Office: I think I’m entitled to them.
    Austin Woods: You want answers?
    Compliance Office: I want the truth!
    Gabe Ikard: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we go to a university supported by football revenue. And that revenue comes in the form of winning football games. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Mr. Compliance Officer? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for $3.83 of pasta and you curse my appetite. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that my bulk, while tragic to my health later in life, raises money for this university. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, keeps this university in the black…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that field. You need me on that field. We use words like tradition, champion, winners…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use ‘em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who is paid and buys his luxury cars with the paycheck I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a helmet and defend the quarterback. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!
    Compliance Officer: Did you eat the pasta?
    Austin Woods: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.
    Compliance Officer: Did you eat the pasta?
    Gabe Ikard: You’re goddamn right we did!!

  3. Elsewhere it was reported that Gabe Ikard had tweeted that OU made him pay $5 to a charity to make amends for his pasta gluttony. So it seems he now has a $1.17 pasta credit, which will get him two boxes of Sam’s Choice Macaroni and Cheese.

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