This weekend, Tulsa is hosting the second annual Center of the Universe festival. Headliners include Young the Giant, Awolnation, Fitz and the Tantrums, Cold War Kids, Capital Cities, Twenty One Pilots, DJ Jazzy Jeff, and several others. Obviously, this is pretty cool.
To commemorate the exciting weekend we have ahead, I’ve made a mobile drinking game to play as you’re wandering around from band to band. Go ahead and take a screenshot of the list for easy access, tell all your friends and get excited. Once you’re good and liquored up, take a picture of you and your amigos and tweet it at me. I’ll totally favorite the best one. Who knows, if it’s funny/scandalous/naked enough, I might even be able to convince Marisa to include it in TLO’s Monday Morning Tweets!
Lets get to it.
Take One Drink If…
- You spot a vegan food truck.
- A campaigner hands you a button, sticker, or pamphlet.
- A pack of under-aged hipsters (sitting in a large pow-wow circle) blocks a major walkway. Bonus if they ask you to buy them booze.
- The scent of marijuana wafts in your direction.
- Someone walks by you wearing a flower crown, overalls, clam digggers, Doc Martens, or a cropped top.
- You hear someone ask why it’s called the Center of the Universe.
- You see a man with his hair in a bun or a white person with dreadlocks.
- You see someone in Josh Sallee’s entourage begrudging take a photo of Josh with a group of giggling girls. Then go take one with him yourself. Ladies, you know that’s Instagram gold.
Take Two Drinks If…
- You see a local Twitter personality in the flesh. Three drinks for @Rayke, @jerrywofford, or @OKmattcarney.
- Someone hands you a free CD in a jewel case.
- You see someone younger than you rocking a vape pen.
- A food truck line is longer than the line to get inside the nearest venue.
- Any display of cultural appropriation. Bindis, headdresses, face paint, etc. Take a picture if it’s that one entitled pink-haired hipster broad we all love to hate.
- Overhear someone say “their old stuff is so much better” or “man, this band sold out.”
Finish Your Drink If…
- Someone suggests getting a shawarma. The book it to Laffa. You don’t want to miss out on the shawarma.
- A hologram performer makes a cameo. Things are about to get interesting.
- Wayne Coyne appears. Things are about to get even more interesting.
Take a Shot If…
- You see someone puke in the street. Don’t let them show you up.
Buy Your Friend a Drink If…
- They show up in a crappy sports jersey, a blinking pacifier necklace, furry boots, a novelty hat, neon leggings or tank tops, and/or some other piece of attire that’s typically associated with EDM shows. I mean, that took some balls.
- They purchase a t-shirt from a band’s merch booth. I know it’s good for the band and blah blah, but that shit’s expensive.
- You meet someone you know only from Twitter in real life. Your new tangible friendship deserves a commemorative brewski.
Stop what you’re doing and contact me immediately if…
- You see DJ Jazzy Jeff wandering about the streets. “Summertime” was the soundtrack of my childhood. I’ll be the rapper to his DJ. I must meet him.
Throw Your Drink in The Offender’s Face If…
- You get heckled by a nutty religious protestor. But only if a policeman isn’t looking.
Call an Uber and Go Home If…
- You don’t have Uber yet where you live. The experience, it’s life changing.
- Walking barefoot starts to sound like a great idea.
- You find yourself thinking Soundpony’s bouncer is sexy.
- You start doing that one dance move where your eyes roll in the back of your head, you wave your hands in the arm, and scream “WOO.”
- Someone from a headlining band wants to hook up. Or someone entices you with the promise of a honey butter chicken biscuit from Whataburger. Those are things you definitely won’t regret tomorrow.
Buy tickets to the Center of the Universe Festival here, and send all ridiculous pictures to me on Twitter at @xCawoodstock.