Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Monday Morning Tweets: The Mayor’s son had a meltdown at Walmart

Happy Monday, everyone! Raise your hand if you had a Sunday fun day. Now, put on your sunglasses inside your office and yell at your coworkers to not talk so loud if you had a Sunday too much fun day. Just know that it’s going to be 70 times worse next weekend. I mean, we have college football and Labor Day. May as well go buy some activated charcoal, aspirin, and Gatorade now so you have it ready and waiting. But before you do that, check out these tweets, y’all.

As always, they’re after the jump.

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Sports Radio Guys are Awful

But who would say such stupid things?

This is particularly disturbing when you consider that 95% of women are larger than Al Eschbach. That means that Al thinks it’s okay to functionally hit all women.

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Pity the Fool

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Stoops Just Can’t Shake It Off

I think we all know that Stoops is getting ready for the first game this weekend, and mumbling the “haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate” line while watching play footage.

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Casey Cornett Went to Walmart

And he did. Oh, he did.

But know that Casey’s week wasn’t all terrible. He saw this and perked right up.

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GAH Dad UGH

In her defense, she’s entered the public education system. The Hunger Games-style popularity contest has begun. She will use this tough attitude until she’s finished with college.

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Giant Spiders Are Attacking El Reno

I’m worried that the only way to stop this giant spider attack is with a giant robot suit manned by a human. I volunteer to operate that suit.

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High As Hell and Butt Naked

Hey Oklahoma residents–why aren’t you leaving those sorts of comments here? Anyway, we’ve figured out why they’re remodeling that milk bottle.

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Again, I Reiterate, Kent Is The Best Ogle

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And Now a Word From Our Sponsor

Seriously. Do it. Don’t let folks like us do all the voting when it comes to the arts. As you can already see, we have terrible taste.

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Make It Snow

In January, when you wonder where the hell all the snow plows are because your street is still covered with 7 inches of snow, remember that you only really see the snow plows in August.

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Crimes of Passion

Totally justified. Case dismissed.

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April O’Neil

After this was taken, Ashley bought the turtle some pizza and helped him defeat Krang.

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Choke Your Boss

…with love.

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What Kendrick Does In the Off Season

Instagram Photo

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Deal With It

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OKC Sprawl

Check out that time lapse. How do you feel about it?

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Synergy

I assume you were talking about the computer in Jem. That’s the only way to say that word unironically. #trulyoutrageous

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Are You Ready for Football Season?

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Doctor Who?

Please leave a comment if you’d like for us to watch every episode of Season 8 with Michael Cross and live tweet it. We would love to eat themed foods with him.

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Girl, Get In Line

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Jake Daniels Totally Has a Crush On Me

A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to the Katt on my way home from work. Out of the blue, they played a Bad Religion song. Naturally, I tweeted about it.

If you’ve listened to the Katt, you know this is out of the ordinary. Generally, the songs you hear come from Metallica, Pantera, Motley Crue, and Nickelback. But Jake Daniels made sure to set me straight three days later.

Well, Bad Religion was in town on Friday night. After the concert, I checked my phone and saw this.

You could say maybe he forgot he replied to me already, but I like to think that we somehow shared a moment at that show.

Oh, Jake. Bad Religion does rock. We’ll always have their show at the Downtown Airpark, those juggalos with bed bug bites on their arms selling beer, the corn dogs, and the port-a-potties. I’ll cherish our memories from that show forever. However, know that I cut my left hand sometime during the evening, and I’m pretty sure I cut it on a port-a-potty. So I totally understand if my impending hepatitis F is a real turn off for you.

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Oh… God… Abigail Ogle Is Going To Run This Town Someday, Isn’t She?

Aw yissss. I knew Little Ogle was a butt woman. We spend a lot of time on this blog talking about hot girls, but can I get an amen for some dude butts?

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The Dean Blevins Memorial Weekly Tweet From Dean Blevins

In the absence of a Dean tweet, I give you Dean’s recipe for little smokies, or as I call them–Deanie Weenies.

dean blevins little smokies

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Want to be featured on the next Monday Morning Tweets? Follow @TLOMMT!

Want to follow me? As always, I’m @GentleMarisa.

And if you want definitive proof that I suck in person and am only moderately entertaining in writing, you should totally get your ticket now.

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Comments

  1. How boring and passive-aggressive is it to have a meltdown on Twitter instead of in the store? And who in 2014 doesn’t know what they’re in for at Wal-Mart of all places?

      • Only in OKC does being the mayor’s son make you a local ‘celeb’. Does anyone realize that between him and his wife they have tweeted over 50,000 times? Who the hell cares what someone has to say in 5 tweets let alone 50k?

        Must be nice to use your dad’s name to get jobs and pretend to be all high and mighty.

  2. Kudos to That Blonde Girl for being upset about the possibility of Oklahoma in the SEC. Those conference and national championships would be cut down quite a bit if they played in a conference like that. Bring on Kansas and Iowa State!

      • They sure did. Glad MY Sooners don’t have to play Alabama one week, then LSU, then Arkansas (which would treat this game like Texas does), then A&M, maybe a dud like Kentucky or Vanderbilt, then Ole Miss, then Miss State, then Auburn. Instead, they play a conference schedule of Texas and Baylor (haha I just said Baylor is a big game). Sounds a lot like the argument we all made about Boise State – “sure, they’re good in a couple of games, but imagine if they had to play at the highest level almost every week.”

  3. “Please leave a comment if you’d like for us to watch every episode of Season 8 with Michael Cross and live tweet it. We would love to eat themed foods with him.”

    Make it so.

  4. Asking for “lentils” in WalMart? Really? Couldn’t just ask where the beans were, could you?

  5. Be sure to read Michael Cross’ blog. I’m sure he’ll provide all the info about the new Who and none of the spoilers.

    Also, as a member of the old school okc punks we are pleased that Oklahoma has mega huge punk rock shows, but we would like our own seating up front with chairs. We’re old and hard of hearing now and most of us are still too hardcore to buy those bourgeois VIP tickets.

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