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Nolan Clay is still covering The Oklahoman’s strip club beat..

11:30 AM EDT on July 6, 2015

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While many of us were enjoying the three-day holiday with friends and family in an atmosphere free from meth and stretch-marks, Nolan Clay, covering his usual beat for the Oklahoman—the G-String circuit—was assigned to cover the closing of another beloved, trashy, illegally zoned, strip-club (a.k.a. House of Prostitution) named Amanda’s Place.

Yes, apparently while American’s gathered together to celebrate this country and its time-honored traditions and values, one reporter stood firm, knee-deep in the Lucite-heeled flotsam and pasties-glued jetsam to let Sunday readers know that there is one less place to set off fireworks in the Metro.

From NewsOK.com:

A second illegal Oklahoma City strip club has shut down.

The closure last month of Amanda’s Place is the latest success in Oklahoma City’s crackdown on clubs that have long offered adult entertainment without proper permits.

The city ticketed the club’s owner, Roger F. Fowler Jr., twice after an undercover code inspector reported observing “adult entertainment activity being performed at the location” in April. The city also ticketed the club’s landlord twice.

First of all, no relation. I think.

Located at 3304 SW 29, way off the Strip Strip of NW 10th and the entire city of Valley Brook, my first question, while investigating this story, would have been “What was the menu like?” According to a Trip Advisor review entitled “NOT a restaurant!” they serve beer only. However, a different review on tuscl.net highly recommended their “fur-burger.” So which is it, guys? Do they serve food or not?

Here's more from NewsOK.com:

Code Inspector Brandon Williams went to Amanda’s Place the nights of April 25 and April 30. In affidavits, he reported each time dancers simulated sex acts on stage and during a private dance that he purchased.

A neighboring businessman, city officials and the landlord’s wife confirm the club shut down last month. The closure came before the city issued notices June 26 declaring it a public nuisance because of “the criminal activity.”

Wait…landlord’s wife? And I thought I was nervous about spilling grape-juice on the carpet—they might as well consider their deposit gone. You shouldn’t need to get an HIV test after you dump a shop vac.

Also, how do you get this job with the city? I guess being the code inspector who gets to “investigate” strip clubs and prosecute dancers for “simulated sex acts” performed upon him is like being the guy who gets to write about the closure of a sex shack at the edge of Mexican-town for the largest paper in the state. But, then again, it could be even worse: you could be the guy who reviews the food at strip clubs for an obscure local social blog.

Here's one final stanza from NewsOK.com:

City officials began the crackdown on illegal strip clubs in 2013 — focusing first on Red Light Nights Gentleman’s Club in south Oklahoma City. The city complained the popular club was operating illegally because it is across the street from a small neighborhood of six houses.

Oklahoma County District Judge Patricia Parrish in February agreed with the city that Red Light Nights is an ongoing public nuisance. She ruled it can no longer offer adult entertainment to its customers.

Red Light Nights closed immediately after the ruling. It has remained closed while the decision is being appealed.

After the closure, Red Light Nights’ manager, Elsie Edwards, opened a new, smaller strip club two miles away in Valley Brook.

Does Nolan Clay know his strip clubs or what?

I like to picture him sitting at a typewriter, trying to find the perfect Dashiell Hammett voice to cover this pseudo-gritty beat of his, furiously typing as glitter from his toupee falls into his keyboard to the tune of Pour Some Sugar On Me. If he ever takes "early retirement" from The Oklahoman, which, let's face it, is pretty likely, I propose he come over here and write a weekly strip club column called "The Lust Ogle."

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