Here’s another reason not to go to the lake…

12:34 PM EDT on July 13, 2016

You know those murky, stagnant pools of lukewarm water we call Oklahoma lakes? The Health Department has recently released a warning about swimming in them. Hard to believe, huh?

Via KFOR:

As the temperatures continue to climb across the state, health officials are warning Oklahomans about the dangers of swimming in natural bodies of water.
The Oklahoma State Department of Health says that natural bodies of water can be contaminated with germs from sewage spills, animal waste, water runoff and germs from swimmers.
Some of those factors can put you at risk for the norovirus and E. coli.
PAM is an extremely rare and usually deadly disease caused by an infection with Naegleria fowleri. Symptoms include high fever, headache, nausea and vomiting. Later, symptoms may progress to stiff neck, seizures, hallucinations and coma.

If I ever come down with a deadly disease or virus, I hope it's one that includes hallucinations. When I go out, I want it to be trippy and fun.

Anyway, this is shocking news. I thought the mercury, chromium and fracking fluid in our water supply was supposed to kill all the bacteria, viruses and algae that call our lakes home. Fortunately for us, the Health Department has released some safety tips so you can still go to the lake and have a miserable time.

Check them out:

Hold your nose or use nose plugs when jumping or diving into water.
Never swim in stagnant or polluted water.
Do not swim in areas with “No Swimming” signs.
Avoid swallowing water from rivers, lakes, streams or stock ponds.
Use earplugs, swim goggles or masks.

"Hey, have fun at the lake! Be sure to wear your goggles and nose plugs when water skiing. We don't want you to get sick, or even worse, get laid!"

Seriously, how are you supposed to have fun at the lake with rules likes that? You're probably just better off going to White Water. The water there is probably poisonous too, but at least it smells like chlorine so you don't notice it.

Patrick @okcpatrick

Patrick is the founder, editor and publisher of The Lost Ogle.