Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Ben

Tulsa Tuesday: Die Hard 5

You may not have known this, but Die Hard 5 began principal photography in Tulsa last week. It sounds like a fantastic, action-packed thrill ride.

From what the news reported, the opening scene will go something like this – an 18 wheeler full of gasoline driven by an insane driver careens out of a small town down the highway with five police cars in pursuit. Cut to a major downtown festival, kids getting their faces painted, street performers entertaining and musicians playing.

The driver heads into downtown and swerves into police who are trying to set up stop sticks on the road. At this point 20+ vehicles are in chase and finally the truck crashes to a halt into City Hall. Sounds fantastic, can’t wait to see it.

Wait a minute, they weren’t filming a movie?  That actually happened where I live…in real life? Screw this, I’m moving to Moore.

Tulsa Tuesday: Where we have fun replacing words in recent news stories

This week, we’re going to try a fun new game about Tulsa. We’re going to take a recent local news article and remix it with a few key words from another recent Tulsa story. I’ve taken the story below about a horse show that has been cancelled due to a disease and the Lady Gaga show at the BOK Center in April.

The original story:

Breeder’s Invitational postponed due to horse virus

Officials have postponed the Breeder’s Invitational scheduled to start Monday in the hope of preventing the spread of a horse virus found at a horse show last week in Utah, organizers said.

The Equine Herpesvirus was found in two horses at a show last week in Utah, according to a release from Breeder’s Invitational. Organizers were concerned that those two horses may have exposed other animals that were headed to this week’s event…

Let’s replace “Breeder’s Invitational” with “Lady Gaga concert“, “horse” with “Lady Gaga fans.” It’s amazing how well it works:

Lady Gaga concert postponed due to Lady Gaga fan virus

Officials have postponed the Lady Gaga concert scheduled to start Monday in the hope of preventing the spread of a Lady Gaga fan virus found at a horse show last week in Utah, organizers said.

The Equine Herpesvirus was found in two Lady Gaga fans at a show last week in Utah, according to a release from Lady Gaga concerts. Organizers were concerned that those two Lady Gaga fans may have exposed other animals that were headed to this week’s event…

Tulsan of the Week

Speaking of Lady Gaga fan, or at least people who look like Lady Gaga fans, this charming young man decided to set off a bomb in the Promenade Mall parking lot. Fortunately it was the Promenade Mall so shoppers weren’t actually in the parking lot so there was nobody injured. Still 19-year-old Jonathan Mullins is going to find out soon from the judicial system that this is the wrong state for white loners with bombs.

Tulsa Tuesday – We’re building a museum, and you can visit.

Deep inside Charlie Sheen’s Memory Palace there is a special place designed to honor the singular place of Oklahoma in Pop Culture. That is why Charlie created (in his sleep, of course) the OK Pop Museum.

Ok, Charlie Sheen didn’t invent it, but if funding goes through, the Oklahoma POP museum would celebrate Oklahoma’s place in Popular Culture. The best way to do this, of course, is to put a big picture of Leon Russell on the front. That seems like a good way to guarantee Elton John will attend the grand opening.

I’ve been brainstorming a few ideas for exhibits, feel free to add yours in the comments.

  • The wildly successful 1996 James Spader movie “Keys to Tulsa
  • That season of Friends where Chandler was sent to Tulsa for 4-5 episodes
  • An entire wing covering Hanson would be a smart idea
  • Recreations of street fights between the greasers and socs
  • Jerry Giordano’s blue tank-top

BOK graciously has donated this parking lot for this museum:

Seriously, if they just put a Josh’s Sno Shack on the lot – they’d probably make the $40 million needed for the museum in a summer.

Tulsa Tuesday: The Tulsa World is no longer free

The Tulsa World took a bold business decision a few weeks ago and decided to begin charging people for the product they make. I’ll give you a second to get back on your chair…. see, apparently the business model of giving shit away for free on the internet while Google sells ads only works well for Google, and not a real newspaper.

Tulsa World subscribers will continue to receive full access to tulsaworld.com and other digital news products under a system that began April 4, 2011, and charge frequent website users who do not pay for a print subscription to the newspaper….

The concept being implemented on tulsaworld.com is called a metered system. The system will limit the amount of locally produced articles that a non-subscriber can view at no charge.

“With the changing landscape in our profession, we believe it is important to charge a fair price for access to the news and information that we produce,” said Robert E. Lorton III, publisher of the Tulsa World.

The strange thing is, the hair-brained scheme actually worked. Rather than reading for free online, I actually subscribed within a few days – because how in the hell could I write about Tulsa without the World doing the reporting for me? (I guess that I could actually go out and meet people and do stuff, rather than sit at home and watch TV, but this felt like the easier option)

For those of you who don’t know much The Tulsa World is 2nd in the state in total circulation. Honestly, this is embarrassing – even though OKC is a larger city – being second to the Oklahoman in anything should be cause for shame.

Tulsa Tuesday: I can endorse closing these schools

Tulsa Public Schools actually have a smaller enrollment now than they did in the 70’s, and have about 10,000 empty seats in various schools. They have finally gotten around to fixing this problem by closing schools:  From the World:

Project Schoolhouse is the initiative that could soon lead to consolidation in Tulsa Public Schools. Superintendent Keith Ballard announced April 22 his final recommendation to close 14 school buildings, reassign all students at eight other schools so their buildings can be converted for a different use and reopen two other district facilities as schools.

This is actually good news.  If approved by the school board, the plan would save TPS about $5 million annually and eliminate 6,000 of the district’s 10,000 empty seats.  However, the predictable response to school closings has taken up the majority of our news the past few months. Parents don’t want to see little Timmy’s school closed, even though it’s probably better for little Timmy and the city as a whole.

In the spirit of civic duty, I offer these five schools as prime examples for consolidation.

1. Helmerich School of Etiquette and Manners

The Helmerich’s are the Gaylord – Bennett – Records of Tulsa.  They’re the type of people who have caviar brunch on some lawn overlooking the 12 hole at Southern Hills and at one time probably employed a person named Jeeves.  That means they know some upper class white people manners.  That being said, the city of Tulsa should look at closing their School of Etiquette and Manners and at least make it a charter school.