Author Archive

Still Fighting the Cold War

Tuesday, August 10th, 2010

Kevin Calvey is linked to the Russians!

Who cares?  The 5th District congressional candidate could be photographed in a ushanka, drinking Smirnoff, eating borscht, while playing with nesting dolls in front of the Kremlin with Boris Yeltsin, and it would be no big deal.  Despite hundreds of Hollywood films depicting the Russians as public enemy #1, the Cold War is over.  The Rooskies are now greedy capitalists, the U.S. won, and they are now our allies.

You know who does care?  The Oklahoman, which may have dropped the “Daily” from its name to modernize, but otherwise still thinks it’s the 1980’s.  How else can you explain a paper that typically avoids doing any kind of digging doing a shocking expose in the lead up to the 5th District Republican run-off.

Here are the facts as laid out on NewsOK.com:

  • Kevin Calvey has a brother named Michael
  • Michael founded a company with a man named Vadim Bakatin
  • Bakatin was the last director of the KGB of the Soviet Union
  • Bakatin was the first director of the capitalist Russian intelligence agency
  • Add it all together and Kevin Calvey, potential U.S. Representative from Oklahoma is a closet communist

That last part may have been conjecture, but the fact of the matter is that the articles run in The Oklahoman, a paper I think everyone can agree is usually very kind to Republicans, is certainly framing the Russian aspect of this story as pretty damning.

If this were 1982, with Ronald Reagan cheerleading anti-communist sentiment while Gorbachev manufactured nuclear weapons that were pointed at Washington D.C. as soon as they came off the assembly line–and newspapers were still relevant and profitable–such an expose would be entirely relevant.  Or at least that aspect of the expose would make sense.

Buried in the lede of Soviet paranoia is that Calvey’s campaign funding really is kind of sketchy.  Michael, who made the maximum allowable campaign donation to Kevin Calvey for Congress, also gave his brother an ownership share of the Russian Private Equity Fund.  And when I say gave, I mean it was a gift.  Kevin didn’t pay a ruble or dime for any piece of the company.  Of course, when he sold his share, he earned $270K.

To keep his campaign afloat, Kevin loaned $250K from his personal funds.  Those numbers are fairly close, don’t you think.

In fairness, The Oklahoman did a much better job of relaying these facts in a second article that spends more time explaining the way the Calvey brothers went around campaign finance law and other ways in which foreign entities infused cash.

OKC Media Approval Ratings: Jeff George

Monday, August 9th, 2010

These were the first words ever published on this website:

Is it just me, or does the FOX 25 weather crew look more like a bunch of Bob Howard car salesmen rather than a group of Oklahoma City weathermen? Instead of talking about the jet stream, hook echoes and the dry line, I picture them sitting around some $0.80-cent draws at Henry Hudson’s blabbering about the hot chick who bought the beat up Accord, what they plan to do with their “future”, and of course, the “good old days.”

The guy who heads up that group of “Bob Howard salesmen” is Jeff George.  Personally, when I think of Jeff George, the first thing that comes to mind is the guy with the awesome mullet and perfectly coiffed mustache throwing laser beam spirals to Randy Moss during the 1999 NFL season.  For some reason, they leave that information off of his KOKH bio.

Nowadays, Jeff George is the chief metorologist of FOX25, according to his bio, he assigns himself to work the morning shift next to Angie Mock instead of the primetime shift next to Jamie Cerreta.  Patrick cannot understand how a man with those options would rather get up at 0-dark-thirty than chance being around at the 10:00pm wrap after Jamie has a bad day and wants to head to Henry Hudson’s to blow off some steam.  There is a lot more to Patrick’s fantasy, but it is NSFW.

Anyway, George deserves points for being the least likely meteorologist to cut into programming to give up-to-the-minute updates on potential sprinkling in Slapout.  On the other hand, since the programming is usually American Idol, the American Idol review, the American Idol results show, or the the American Idol results show review, he probably should interrupt that crap.  Instead, he spends that free time practicing to usurp Scott “J’Ordy” Hines as the local media dancing champ.

After the jump, let us know if you approve or disapprove of Jeff George and/or his dance moves.

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An August Ritual

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

Last week, the Big XII (what remains of it) had their yearly football media soiree.  Mack Brown made jokes, Bo Pellini looked pissed, and Bob Stoops said nothing that could not be classified as coachspeak.  That, as all who follow the Big XII know, is what is expected.  Also par for the course is that OSU has now been put in a tough position by one of their top players.

At that same media function, one of the players representing the Cowboys was defensive end Jamie Blatnick.  Assumed, because Coach Gundy selected him as one of two players to put in front of the cameras, is that Blatnick is was expected to be an important cog in what Oklahoma State would accomplish this season.  That is probably not the case anymore.

From the Tulsa World:

After allegedly striking former teammate Steve Denning in the face with a beer bottle, Oklahoma State junior defensive end Jamie Blatnick was charged with a felony in Payne County District Court on Monday.

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In a news release, police said that as officers were interviewing Denning outside the establishment, Denning forced his way through police in an attempt to continue the fight with Blatnick. Denning had to be stunned with a Taser to be subdued, police said.

Aside from the awesome visual of Blatnick breaking a bottle and attacking another football player Patrick Swayze-style, this is not cool.  (Another great visual?  Denning’s mug shot.)  The Cowboys are already in re-building mode.  Unlike the Sooners who can ship a gajillion guys off to the NFL and replace them with a gajillion other guys who are going to the NFL, OSU needs to get the most out of the players at the top of the depth chart.  After one of their best seasons in school history, the loss of their starting quarterback, best playmaker, the whole offensive line, and most of their defense to “graduation” means that the team is already going to struggle to make this a season that doesn’t make Poke fans want to kill themselves.

That means that whatever leadership qualities Gundy saw in Blatnick that spurred the invite to media day was essential to the team.  A few days later, he (probably) throws it all away.  Of course, this isn’t exactly a new problem for OSU to deal with.  It seems like on the eve of every season, some situation arises to cast a pall on the upcoming campaign.

Last season it was the projected starting tight end, Jamal Mosely, leaving the team for “personal reasons” just days before the season opener.  The restraining order a fellow State student acquired against him may have been a factor.  When I was in school, ten players–including Andre Richardson, the guy the offense had been designed around–were kicked out of school for academics two weeks before the first game.  In 2005, defensive captain Vernon Grant died in a car accident, and Prentiss Elliott (who starred as a freshman) got suspended for doing one of a numerous number of gang related activities in the lead up to that same season.  Plus, who knows how many things got swept under the rug when Les Miles was the coach.

To his credit, Mike Gundy has been very good about actually disciplining players who run afoul of the law…unlike the guy he replaced.  He even suspended Dez Bryant last season at the first indication that Bryant may have done something to run afoul of the NCAA’s assinine policies.  In this case, though, he may be waffling.  According to an article on KOCO.com, Gundy said about Blatnick:  “I think he has incredible remorse.  I’m not going to speak for him, but you asked me to evaluate him, and I think he’s incredibly remorseful about the situation.”

My translation of that is “Yeah, he effed up, broke a dude’s skull, but he feels sorry about it.”  And when the starting defensive end gets a slap on the wrist, my translation of that action will be, “At least he didn’t put the dude in a coma.”

OKC Media Approval Ratings: Mat Garcia

Monday, August 2nd, 2010

One thing I learned when compiling the listing of our OKC Media Approval ratings is that we have done a poor job of including Channel 5 newscasters.  Paul Folger, who likes boobs, had been the only employee from the station to be featured in this series.  This was a surprisingly controversial revelation that led to many angry emails, including this one:

KOCO is the best news outlet in the state.  It is completely egregious that you would ice them out just because they replaced Maggie Carlo with a dude who likes purse dogs.

Signed,

T. Hanadarko

This has not been on purpose, I just don’t watch a lot of Channel 5.  The one exception is the morning show which, thanks to the YMCA’s policy of giving KOCO favoritism in the weight room, I watch sans sound while attempting to complete a full workout on the elliptical machine (huffing and puffing like Seth Rogan after chasing Michael Cera in Superbad).

Without the sound, I know almost nothing about the cast except that the male anchor, Mat Garcia, probably shouldn’t plan a vacation to Arizona anytime soon.  I went to his profile at the KOCO website and that did little to help me.  It was little more than a LinkedIn resume with some filler about how Garcia loves (**cliche alert**) spending time with his family.

Seriously 5-Alive, step up your game.  How are we supposed to go all-in on the cult of personality with your journalists if you treat them like journalists?  Huh?  Wait, maybe that’s why our former editor Tony is a KOCO devotee.

Anyway, with that limited information, give us your opinion of Mat Garcia after the jump.

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Clark Matthews’ Endorsement: James Lankford

Friday, July 23rd, 2010

Thanks to Mary Fallin’s decision to run for governor, the competition for her opening 5th district (the district that covers OKC) congressional seat is fierce.  With the Republican primary (or as, I refer to it, the nomination of the next congressman) on Tuesday, I thought I would like to weigh in for the eight readers we have that are registered to vote GOP.  It was not an easy decision.  Patrick lent his endorsement to one of the guy in the race with a porn name, and the comedic potential of Shane Jett going to Washington to offer bills requiring Supreme Court justices to wear powdered wigs was tempting.  However, my endorsement goes to…

James Lankford.

Why James Lankford? 

Is it that Lankford is uberqualified because his father-in-law was a marine and he spent thirteen years running a camp where Baptist youth lose their virginity?  No.

Is it that his face looks like it is made out of modeling clay?  No…well, it doesn’t hurt.

Is it that Lankford has a dickish way of addressing people like morons when it comes to the issue of illegal immigration; or the super punny visual non sequitor he made in the same video?  Sort of.

Is it the way he is trying to bring back the ceasar haircut that was popular when I was in high school (right after bowl cuts and just before shaving it all off)?  Not really.

The reason, as with every decision I make in my life, is that Lankford has red hair, and we gingers have to stick together.

History Nerds and the 4-0-5

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

Yes, we have made fun of Steve Lackmeyer on occasion.  The Oklahoman’s downtown beat writer  has been the butt of jokes about a grown man wearing Bricktown-themed pajamas and Devon tower inspired erections.  Today, though, we’re putting aside the snark because Steve did us a huge favor.

Steve is the director of  RetroMetroOKC, a new history project that launched about a week ago.  For people obsessed with the history of this area, like founders of obscure local social blogs, it is a GaryEnglandsend.  As part of my recent series on Oklahomans doing cool things (see this article for the first post), Steve agreed to do a Q&A about the new website, what the project has in store, and how our readers can help it to be even better.  Check it out:

Q: The mission statement of your project is:  “Retro Metro OKC is dedicated to educating the community and its visitors about local history by collecting, preserving, displaying and interpreting materials reflecting the heritage of Oklahoma City.”  How did your group come together and decide that an endeavor like this needed to happen?

A:It started with a lot of coffee. I’m good friends with Doug Loudenback, who has the popular history blog www.dougdawg.blogspot.com. I went to high school with Buddy Johnson, the archivist who runs the Oklahoma Room at the downtown library. Buddy had spent some time talking with assistant city planner A.J. Kirkpatrick about the need to better preserve and tell our city’s history. I was having similar discussions with Doug and Blair Humphreys. A.J. Kirkpatrick had a friend, Marc Weinmeister, who shared our vision, and, well…. it started with a lot of coffee. Within a few months we had added another dozen or so people with the diverse talent needed to pull this off.

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Only Commies Use Stucco

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

After baseball size hail smashed up Matthews Manor, contractors scoured our neighborhood drumming up business.  My poor wife, who was at home during maternity leave (and now because her employer doesn’t understand how FMLA works) has to fight off door-to-door roof salesmen–while dealing with a collicky newborn–that seem to multiply like cockroaches in the pizza box Chad uses for a pillow.

If only we could decide which company should get our insurance check, things would be so much easier!  But, anyone we use has to proclaim they are a Christian in the most self-serving way possible.  If they aren’t conservative or Oklahoman, we can’t use them.  Plus, if choosing them to drive nails into my house will assist secular-socialism, it is a dealbreaker.

Having an owner who wears nut-hugger jeans and a loose tie, that brags about his quality of work as an afterthought to his political beliefs would get me on the phone instantly.  Of course, finding a company like that is not easy in this state.

Thankfully, some advertising firm mixed up the focus group data they were using to produce spots for Republican candidates during primary season with the profile data for small, local businesses and pitched the spot above to a loony metro contractor.  The results are hilarious.

OKC Media Approval Ratings

Monday, July 19th, 2010

Last November, we started a weekly feature (that we forgot about for a couple of months rating local media personalities.  As of last week’s three-fer, twenty-five members of the media have received a thumb-up or down from our discerning readers.  The results are in the graphic below.

Not surprisingly, Joleen Chaney, the reigning #1 on our Hottest Women in the Oklahoma Media, is pacing the field with a blistering 95% approval rating.  On the other end of the spectrum is Oklahoman writer Jenni Carlson whose writing makes us all want to hurt ourselves.

In between there were a few surprises.  For instance, Jim Traber, who loves this website and checks it daily for material, was liked by nearly a quarter of our readers.  I know he has a pathetic little website, a pathetic little radio show, and a pathetic little twitter account, but I assumed they were popular for the same reason people like to check out freak shows at carnivals…not because people actually like him.  Good for him, he only comes in second-to-last, a status he’ll probably use in his ongoing feud with Jenni Carlson.

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