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Author Archive for Gravy Train – Page 5

College Football Musings from the Train: Week Three


So I’ve been busy this past week and haven’t watched TV, surfed the World Wide Web, or turned on the radio. Or talked to any person in the state of Oklahoma. What’s the new word? Anything exciting going on in the area? So did that article about the OSU football atrocities have any legs? Oh … oh really …


10) OSU dismantled Lamar

I mean, what do you say about the Cowboys destroying a horribly over-matched FCS team in the home opener 59-3? That this was just another step on the road to a national championship? That this huge home opener will propel OSU to a second conference championship in three years? I guess Poke fan wants me to say who great the offense looked and how the defense held the mighty Cardinals to 3 points.

Gravy Train’s OU / OSU Football Power Poll: Week Two


Welcome to my weekly OU / OSU Football Power Poll, or as most of you call it, the one post that includes pics of college girls. This week OU beat West Virginia in a strange win that felt like a loss, and OSU won its first road game against UTSA. That’s the University of Texas at San Antonio. Embarrassing.


trevor knight

10) Trevor Knight …

Well, at least Trevor Knight the OU quarterback is now the first thing that comes up when you perform a Google image search of his name. 

How is this guy the best passer on the team? And he isn’t even scanning the entire field. He has to make a single read. The coaches have dumbed down the pass plays so much, he looks to one side of the field, then either throws a bad pass, or scrambles. I know he is young and needs time to develop, but against two average at best defenses, his completion percentage is under 50% with just over 200 total passing yards in both games … combined.

Of course, we all know how the “Knight” ended, with a good old fashioned …

Gravy Train’s OU / OSU Football Power Poll: Week One


First weekend of the college football season. Which of course meant getting hammered at 9 am in Norman while smoking some brisket, ribs, and chicken awaiting certain disappointment in a few months

Oh, that was last year. And the several years before life kicked me in the crotchel region. I was in Kansas City. With my in-laws. And my 2 kids under the age of 3. Playing golf on Saturday. And having a family gathering that evening.

mike stoops long john

Gravy Train’s OU / OSU Football Power Poll: Preseason Edition


(Editor’s Note: Due to popular demand, Gravy Train is returning this year for his smug little college football power poll. Read at your own risk.)

Like the herpes you scored one Thursday night in 2011, I return. A few liver enzymes less. A few pounds more. Another child added.

Unlike these hipsters who spend the majority of their time drinking PBR at Henry Hudson’s (Editor’s Note: Hipster’s at Hudsons? Really???) and composing witty commentary on this locally famous, moderately relevant blog, I have been busy at my palatial midtown estate raising two children within 30 months of each other and running a successful law firm. So apologies for the absence, but eff you and my social life/sleeping patterns.

Alas, Patrick allows me to return for yet another football season sure to be filled with idiotic musings and soul crushing disappointments. Or, as my wife calls it, date night.


10) OU Quarterback Situation Controversy

“I totally saw this coming. I knew Trevor Knight was going to be the guy replacing Landry Jones all along!” Said no one ever.

I watched Blake Bell play markedly better than Trevor Knight last spring. I saw in Knight a lack of confidence. I saw a quarterback with less physical skills both through the air and on the ground than BOTH Blake Bell and Kendal Thompson. He didn’t look like a Division I quarterback.

Now, here we are a couple of months later and the prohibitive favorite to win the quarterback position is relegated … again … to short yardage and goal line duties, assuming Knight can’t get that done on his own. The insiders will tell you Knight grasped the offense quicker than Bell, which is as much a knock on Bell as praise on Knight. TK looked better through the air. He runs the zone read with greater explosion. And perhaps the public would have an opinion if Coach didn’t pattern the program’s security after the Bourne trilogy (yes, there are only three of them).

This competition might be over for the coaching staff, but after a drive or two against Louisiana Monroe, classic OU daywalker will re-institute his favorite pastime – bitching about something and calling for a backup.

Gravy Train’s OU / OSU Football Power Poll: Week 13

It’s my final College Football Power Poll of the season. Might as well go out and style and lead off with OSU:

10) Oklahoma State Defense, Part I

The Oklahoma State Cowboys defense surrendered 44 first downs to Oklahoma last week. In response this week, OSU gave up 23 first downs the first half against Baylor. That is a staggering 11 first downs per quarter, or a first down every minutes and twenty seconds. At some point, the bend don’t break defense can only take so many jobs before it gets knocked the eff out.

And it did get knocked out, courtesy of a 4th quarter comeback against Oklahoma and Baylor gashing the Pokes Saturday to the tune of 615 yards, over 300 of which were on the ground. They lost the time of possession battle again. They allowed Baylor to convert 9-17 third downs, many of which were third and long.

It would appear that Oklahoma State is going to field a championship offense for the foreseeable future. But that means 7-5 when your defense can’t get off the field.