One of those clichés you hear about death is that you can’t take it with you. It being a vague pronoun reference, and also all the things you own. I heard a popular country song matter-of-factly state that they don’t make hearses with trailer hitches, as if to reinforce this point. Dead men tell no tales, nor do they possess a system of ownership. Just so we’re clear.
But here’s the thing about death. Even when you’re gone, that doesn’t mean that your loved ones will possess the same flippant attitude toward possessions. In fact, it’s highly likely that they’ll be fighting over your estate for a long time after your body is cold. But what you don’t expect is that they will probably have to fight some druggies to keep the flowers on your grave.
According to KFOR.com:
Happy Monday to all you out there. Isn’t it fantastic that the worst holiday of the year is now over? Don’t get me wrong, gluttony is my favorite of the Seven Deadly, but I hate any holiday where there aren’t enough distractions to prevent me from having to converse with relatives. At least with Christmas everyone has these awesome new presents to keep them preoccupied and your conservative doomsday prepper uncle isn’t trying to have conversations about Ferguson, Missouri, over coffee and pumpkin pie. Consumerism really is the saving grace of the holiday season.
Anyway, I know this Monday is going to be pretty rough, especially if you had the last four days off. So, know that I’ve gathered the very best tweets from the week before and put them all right here for your amusement. As always, they’re after the jump.
Just in case you were unaware, Thanksgiving is this week. After this week is the Christmas season. That’s when it’s totally kosher to start decorating for Christmas. I thought I would make that clear, because Walmart puts out Christmas shit in September. This throws off my Seasonal Affective Disorder, and makes me depressed while it’s still technically summer.
And some of you eager beavers are just as bad as Walmart, what with putting up decorations before you’ve even cooked your turkey–like Santa can fill those stockings before your dad takes a post-Thanksgiving nap while watching the football game. Then, some of you are just bad at decorating. Like people in Owasso, who have really bad taste in Christmas decorations. According to News9.com:
Happy Monday, everyone, and welcome to what is hopefully a short week for you. I know that I’m glad I only have to go to the office 3 days this week, and I’m really looking forward to shunning green bean casserole in favor of saving room for pie. If you’re wise, you’ll do the same. And to those of you who either work at a restaurant that is open on the holiday, or in retail, I feel for you. I hope your holiday doesn’t suck because people need to eat out on Thanksgiving or start their Black Friday shopping on Thursday.
But anyway, it’s time for the tweets. As always, I have gathered up the very best in Oklahoma Twitter for your entertainment. You can check out this week’s tweets after the jump!
As far as I’m concerned, Thanksgiving may as well be called Pie Day. I’m not to into the first few courses of the day because they take away valuable stomach real estate from pie. Anyway, you can eat birds, potatoes and dinner rolls any old day. But Thanksgiving is a special occasion because you can eat apple, pumpkin and pecan pie all in the same day. And bonus points if you pile loads of Cool Whip on top of said pie, like you’re erecting a monument to gluttony.
But I understand that not everyone is cool with only eating pie for a meal. To some, the turkey and stuffing is a very important part of the day. To others, various side dishes are the reason for the season. Recently, The New York Times published a piece about Thanksgiving dishes typical of each of the states. So, what was the most “Oklahoma” dish?
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