Happy Monday and welcome to another edition of everyone’s favorite TLO column that features tweets! As I write this, I am sick from consuming too much Easter food and candy. Every year I think I’m not going to gorge myself on chocolate bunnies and Reese’s eggs. But every year I finish like a champ. What can I say? I’m dedicated to the ones I love.
Anyway, I’m going to assume that you’re a grown adult and you don’t have issues with eating too much candy. So I won’t even suggest that you are perhaps as nauseated as me. Instead, I’ll just encourage you to read all the tweets I have gathered for you after the jump!
While I don’t consider myself to be a journalist, sometimes I kind of feel like one. I bring information to the people, granted on many occasions that information was already at the people’s fingertips. What I do is take really boring news stories, and make them better for your consumption. I love doing it, and I hope you enjoy it as well.
But sometimes, I’m not content with the news stories we get. Sure, it’s fun to write about the very silly and ridiculous things that Oklahomans do. But I have a bucket list, if you will, of things I want to write about here on TLO before I leave this world. (No, I’m not dying, I just know that some of the things I want to see happen are going to take anywhere from 20 to 50 years to occur. You’ll still read an 80-year old Marisa’s posts, won’t you?) I’m not saying any of you fine readers should make this happen, because I could see someone getting in trouble for a few of these. But you know, you kind of owe me, seeing as how I’ve been writing for TLO for the past 5 years and you’ve been ravenously consuming my posts for free. You kind of owe me.
Anyway, here are some things I’d like to see happen in the OKC Metro so I can write about them:
1. A meteorite taking out Memorial Road
I don’t like the ocean. I’d like to exchange the word ocean with the phrase “bottomless pit of nightmares.” The Oxford English Dictionary hasn’t returned my calls yet. I’ll let you know how that pans out. But, I think it should be said that I feel very similarly about lakes and rivers. Water is terrifying because I can’t swim in a manner any more effective than a doggy paddle, and all the creatures that dwell within the depths of any aquatic body are absolutely terrifying. Basically, the water is just waiting to kill me.
However, I’ve found that not everyone feels the same way. In fact, there are those who like lakes and oceans and elect to frequent them for fun. What can I say? Some folks are straight up crazy. And there are even folks who actually like the animals that live in water. Some people think we even need an aquarium and museum near Lawton to celebrate them.
According to the website for the under construction Medicine Park Aquarium and Natural Sciences Center:
The aquarium will be a new and exciting supplement to biology and science curricula programs for Southwest Oklahoma’s school kids and a compelling family activity and attraction for our entire region.
That’s cool. It never hurts to have more places that kids can go to for field trips.
But what does this mean to all of us? Well, if you aren’t the type to drive all the way down to Lawton to look at some fish, maybe not a lot. Except, you can sponsor fishes. That’s right. For the low price of thousands of dollars, you can sponsor a fish. I’m sure it’s all tax deductible, and then all the aquarium visitors get to know that you’re a the happy philanthropist that made the addition of that fish to the ol’ tank possible.
Now, this may not be something that your average Joe does. But what about our Oklahoma celebrities? I’m sure they’re all loaded with tons of fish dollars! So, without further ado, I present to you a few Oklahoma celebrities and the fish they will sponsor!
Remember when you were a high schooler and for the most part, there were no consequences for your actions? No one expected anything of you and life was great. I really miss those days when I check my emails and the balance of my 401k. High school, though it hella sucked, was definitely a simpler time where we didn’t gain weight if we ate potato chips and soda for lunch. And if you did something pretty stupid, people just chalked it up to you being a kid. I miss that.
But maybe I’m the only one that feels that way. Maybe some of you adults want to go around punishing happy-go-lucky teenagers for the crime of being a teenager. That’s certainly what some parents in Gurthrie are all about. According to KFOR.com:
Good morning and happy Monday, everyone. It’s that time of year again. From my survey last week, it would appear that y’all think I shouldn’t try to write like Shakespeare and that I should just put topical information in this intro. Well, jokes on you guys! I’m so irrelevant you wouldn’t even believe. Ummm. So. Last week. There were things. And this week, there will actually also be things. That’s all I’ve got, at least until I see the new Fast and Furious movie. I’m serious about that. Seeing that film will be the pinnacle of my week.
Anyway, I at least do have some tweets for your enjoyment. As always, they’re after the jump.
The Nerds Were Out in Full Force
So, this past weekend saw both the Medieval Fair in Norman, and Super Bitcon at the State Fairgrounds. But more importantly, it saw me realize something about myself as I walked around the Medieval Fair. That something was that I don’t like people who like things. That may seem odd or vague, but just know that if you’re way into something, we’re not going to be friends. I find your enthusiasm for a hobby, activity or interest to be nauseating. I’d like everyone to know that my tent is firmly staked in the “grown folks who sit back and drink beer for fun” camp, and it ain’t moving. I say this not to discourage anyone from enjoying their interests, but just to let you know. Your enthusiasm for a subject will not move to me to enjoy it. I’m an antisocial asshole. I know. I’ve come to terms with it.
But that doesn’t mean that other people didn’t have a good time….
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