Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 11

It’s time to freak out about ticks, Oklahoma

tick virus

Remember when everyone freaked out about West Nile and H1N1 and ebola? Those were some fun times. All your germophobe friends were telling you that everyone was going to die, and all your burn out friends were turning broadcasts about the viruses into drinking games. Don’t you miss the mass hysteria associated with diseases you probably won’t get because you’re too busy sitting on your couch and watching Netflix to interact with other people or creatures that could give you any diseases?

Well, don’t worry. It’s time to get super stressed about a cool new disease you can get from the ticks in your backyard. According to News9.com:

6 things Edmond could’ve done with $50,000

Oklahoma Indian statue

Let me begin this post by saying that I love public art. All of it. It doesn’t matter what it is, or if I “get it.” I like art for art’s sake. I mean, I have multiple worthless degrees in creative writing, so I’m not the type of person to hate up on beautiful stuff that I get to see. But more than the art, I like the artists behind it. I think it’s important that artists are paid for the work they do. They’ve spent years studying and practicing, and they deserve it. And if you disagree with that, and think that the world doesn’t need art, then I hope you go live in a world that basically a bunch of boring beige buildings that all look alike, you heartless weirdo.

Anyway, I say all this because the City of Edmond bought some art. And, well, it’s not exactly what I’d think to purchase if I were on a committee to decide what art a city should buy. According to KFOR.com:

EDMOND, Okla. — A massive new statue unveiled in Edmond has garnered a lot of mixed opinions.

Tax dollars paid for it, but not everyone is happy about it.

Well, no shit. Anything that happens in a city is totally paid for by taxes. Where the hell else would money come from? A rich benefactor that just wants to give dollars for no good reason?

Sorry. I just had to state that because the headline KFOR went with for this story was “Taxpayer money paid for massive new statue unveiled in Edmond.” That’s a really unnecessary way to rile up people by stating the obvious. Also, you can’t alway be happy about where your tax dollars go. NO ONE EVER IS. But this is part of being a human in a society, so suck it up, crybabies.

At 18 feet, this depiction of an Indian chief is now the biggest work of art in Edmond.

It used to be outside the Houston Astrodome until the city bought it for $50,000.

At a hefty 20,000 pounds, you can’t miss it driving down 2nd street in Edmond. The new piece of public art is taller than Italy’s statue of David.

“It’s part of what we do to beautify the community, public art has become that,” Edmond city spokesman Casey Moore said.

City leaders say a citizen suggested council members take a look at buying the statue when the Houston Rodeo and Livestock Association put it up for sale.

“This piece is called ‘Touch the Clouds,’ which is the name of the Indian chief that’s depicted. He was a chief that was around back in the 1800s,” Moore said.

Wow. So, gigantic Native American chief. That’s exactly what I think of when I think of Edmond, Oklahoma. It really is a center for Native American art and culture. This purchase makes sense.

Just kidding. This made me think of all the great and wonderful things that the City of Edmond could do with that kind of money. And I came up with 6 alternate suggestions for how the City of Edmond should spend that money…

It’s easy to escape from jail in Oklahoma…


One of the greatest accomplishments in my life is that I’ve never gone to jail. Sure, it sounds easy enough, but if you go through your old yearbooks and count how many people you used to know that have gone to jail, it’s pretty stressful. How did we all turn out so normal, and those people we used to sit with in chemistry wind up in jail for credit card fraud? And if you think about the incarceration rate in the state, it’s even more remarkable.

Anyway, from what I’ve read lately, it’s not even like going to jail is a big deal. And it’s not like you even have to stay there, or that they do anything to keep you there. Seriously. According to KFOR.com:

Monday Afternoon Tweets: Happy Memorial Day edition

Well, it’s Monday, and you probably aren’t at work today. If you are, I’m sorry. Tell your boss to eat a box of dicks and walk the hell out. Or maybe don’t. It’s up to you. But you should seriously think about whether or not it’s worth having a job that makes you work on a holiday. Then again, it’s not like anyone is going to a lake this weekend since pretty much every lake is overflowing and full of the weird crap the flood waters have stolen from the good ol’ terra firma. So, you know, it’s basically just us enjoying the mosquitoes and the 100% humidity.

Well, today may not be the best holiday ever, but at least you get to read a holiday edition of Monday Morning Tweets. As always, check it out after the jump.

Downtown parking lots make a lot of money


It’s not uncommon for me to pull a jacket or pair of jeans out of my closet that I haven’t worn in a while only to find a $5 bill in the pocket. That’s my threshold for losing money though. Anything more than $5 and I notice it. Maybe that makes me cheap, but I like to think it makes me fiscally responsible. Oh, and I also have a habit of quitting day jobs on a whim when I’m not 100% happy, so I’m totally always broke.

I’ve always wondered how easily money can be lost when it comes to a company that has a ton of money. Like Apple, Berkshire Hathaway and General Electric probably have millions just chilling in some metaphorical pockets in the back of the closet. But you know who for reals lost almost half a million dollars before even noticing? A parking lot in Downtown OKC.

According to KFOR.com: