Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 11

Monday Morning Tweets

Happy Monday, everyone, and I hope you all are experiencing the same weird sinus/allergy situation I am. That warm weekend has probably caused something to bloom and my brain is about to explode from the sinus pressure. Why would I wish that on all of you? Well, because I’ve found that life is a lot better when we’re all on Sudafed together. I mean, we could have a real party going.

Anyway, like I tend to do, I’ve collected some tweets from the week before. I’ve gathered them up and put them here in this post so that you may have something fun to read while you’re waiting for the Sudafed to kick in. As always, the tweets are after the jump!

10 places where you can no longer have your birthday

Today, as many of you know, is my 29th birthday. It is a day where I shall party like it’s 1999 like I’m 29, which is to say that I’ll go to work and come home and it will be an average day. I may get myself a little treat at lunch, but let’s not get too crazy. Ain’t nothing special about a birthday. Though, there was a time when birthdays were special days. It’s funny to think there was a time as children when birthdays meant everyone you knew brought you presents and it was all about you. Now, it totally means that you’re getting older and it becomes increasingly sadder when you are able to do a shot for every year you are old.

But think back to the time when birthdays were fun. Think back to the days when you’d fill out the party invitations you purchased in the stationery section of the local store, and pass them out at recess. Think back to the sweet presents all your classmates would bring. Now, realize that you can never have that again, because today I have for you, a list of 10 Oklahoma City places you can no longer have your birthday party. That’s right. I’m bringing you a list of all the places you used to go to celebrate, but are now closed forever.

Monday Morning Tweets

Happy Monday, and welcome to my birthday week, everyone! As I get ready to celebrate entering the last year of my twenties, I’d like to invite you all to drink recklessly and max out your credit cards as well. It won’t keep you young forever, but at least it will numb the pain of aging for like, a day. If you’d like to get me a present, I’d like a locally-owned coffee shop in the I-40 and Meridian area, or for Molly Murphy’s to reopen so I can have my birthday party there. If you can do neither of these things, then I know you really don’t care about me. (Side note: if you’re looking to open a local coffee shop and are thinking of doing so in the I-40 and Meridian area…don’t. Like, it’s not worth it to you. I would love it, but I can drink 7-Eleven coffee instead. No need for you to waste your livelihood in an area of the city that God has completely forgotten.)

Anyway, as always, I’ve got your weekly tweets after the jump!

6 ways the State House of Representatives can stop same-sex marriages


Well, the ink on the same-sex marriage license that have been issued in the great state of Oklahoma aren’t even dry, but you can rest assured that there are those who are working hard to prevent any more from being issued. State Representatives Mike Ritzke and Sally Kern are “reaching out” to Governor Fallin and State Attorney General Scott Pruitt to do something to stop same-sex marriage. Basically, they’re whining like children who do not get their way.

Via The Tulsa World:

Two Oklahoma legislators, including one from Broken Arrow, urged Gov. Mary Fallin and Attorney General Scott Pruitt on Tuesday to do everything they can to get the U.S. Supreme Court to rule on same-sex marriage.

The Court last week said it would not hear any of the seven pending petitions on the issue, including one from Oklahoma.

“The Court is essentially shirking its responsibilities and leaving state lawmakers and court clerks with little guidance on what to do,” said Rep. Mike Ritze, R-Broken Arrow. “Our position on this issue is clear, and, frankly, the Court owes the nation a final decision so we can move forward.”

“The citizens of Oklahoma overwhelmingly voted to define marriage as a union between one man and one woman,” said Rep. Sally Kern, R- Oklahoma City. “I hope Gov. Fallin and Attorney General Pruitt will use the power of their offices to seek a review by the Court.”

It was not clear what, if anything, the governor and attorney general can do under the circumstances. Fallin and Pruitt have previously denounced the court for declining to hear the cases, and Pruitt filed a friend of the court brief defending Oklahoma’s 2004 state constitutional amendment that effectively banned same-sex marriage.

Here’s the thing with our state legislature. Even if something they’ve chosen to do is overturned or found unconstitutional, they’re going to find a way.

Now, since Kern and Ritzke aren’t people we would typically ask to join our team at Free Trivia Night, we went ahead and did some of the leg work for them. That’s right. We’ve come up with ways for them to prevent same-sex marriages!

Check them out after the jump!

Monday Morning Tweets

Happy Monday, everyone. That was a fun Saturday of football, wasn’t it? Are you as exhausted as I am? Mondays are really hard during football season, since I spend all Saturday eating football snacks and drinking beer. You can’t be healthy when you really need a Sonic toaster sandwich to drown all the alcohol still in your system. And just try explaining why you refuse to turn the lights on in your office to your boss. You can tell they don’t sympathize. So if you’re like me, you need to ease into your Monday. That’s why Monday Morning Tweets exists, so you can catch up on the last week before diving into the current one.

As always, I’ve gathered up some of the very best tweets you ever did see, and they’re all right here after the jump!