Good morning and happy Monday, everyone. How are you feeling after that holiday weekend? I know I’ve eaten enough grilled red meat and watermelon to last me a month. It’s pretty rough to come back to work, especially when you have 3 days worth of hangovers to contend with and enough sunburn to make all of your flesh peel off. But don’t despair. I’m sure there’s a break room or closet in your office where you can go for the rest of the day and just sleep everything off. If you get caught, though, you’re on your own.
Anyway, as always, I’ve gathered up the best of the tweets from last week and I have them ready for your enjoyment. As always, they’re right here after the jump!
Some people believe that animals come to us as omens. For example, my dog comes to me as an omen that she will pee on the floor if I don’t let her out. The possum that chased me in a parking lot in broad daylight was an omen that there is probably a rabies outbreak in my area. Spiders build webs up in the corners of my ceiling as an omen that I should probably dust more often. And my neighbor’s cat appearing in my yard is generally an omen that my herb garden will be torn up within the hour.
But these are all very average and everyday omens. They’re pretty simple to understand. What about the bigger and weirder and more ominous omens? Like this direwolf in Choctaw! According to KFOR:
Back in the summer of 2010, I was basically a professional bridesmaid. If you’ve never purchased and paid for alterations for three formal dresses that you plan to never wear again, count yourself lucky. That was basically the summer that I decided my wedding would not include a wedding party, and would pretty much just be an open bar and me signing a marriage license while my very traditional family shakes their head at my non-white dress. I look forward to this day. Weddings are great.
And as I’m sure you know, same-sex marriage is now legal throughout these United States. And, while it has been legal in Oklahoma for a while now, the Supreme Court has upheld it, so get ready to attend a lot more weddings this year. And who doesn’t love attending a wedding? Seriously, between the open bars and getting to watch friends and acquaintances make asses of themselves on the dance floor, there is no good reason to not attend a wedding.
But since a lot of same-sex couples are probably planning weddings now, we decided to make it easier. So, we’ve compiled a list of all the best businesses to cater your same-sex wedding!
1. Little Mike’s
Little Mike’s is one of those restaurants that really loves America in a way that makes you think they actually hate America because all they do is complain about the way America actually is. But I’m sure these folks can take a few hours away from the time they spend printing off weird email forwards and taping them to the walls in order to cater a wedding. That is, if you like sub-par burgers.
We all have those little items that are special to us. I have a lucky pair of Converse shoes. The soles are worn thin, there are bleach spots on them from back in the day when I used to bar tend, and there are holes in the canvas. But I will never get rid of these shoes because I’m an incredibly superstitious person and to get rid of them would be akin to suicide in my book. Perhaps you have a pair of underwear, a keychain, or a blankie that is also imbued with similar power.
Kids have these things too, only their special things are dumb because they’re kids. And because they’re kids, they lose their stuff all the time. But that’s okay because some lady and Lance West don’t know that the children’s book, Corduroy, wasn’t real and that stuffed animals are maybe trying to escape instead of trying to get home. According to KFOR:
It may be a Monday, but chances are that you have a 3-day weekend on the horizon. And that weekend will be filled with sunshine, watermelon, and lighting things on fire in the name of freedom. I hope thoughts of these things can get you through this day. If not, know that you can always find a storage closet or an empty office to nap in until you get to go home. Do what you need to do to survive.
Anyway, I’ve gathered a lot of tweets from the past week for you to enjoy. As always, they’re after the jump.
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