When was the last time you were inconsolably sad about something that was out of your control? For me, it’s kind of an every 20-minutes sort of thing where I have to cry because the fairy tales were all lies and life is an eternal sadness loop punctuated by moments of really hysterically funny things, like strangers falling down and my dog chasing her tail. It’s not healthy, but no one has every really looked at me and said “wow, that’s an emotionally healthy person.”
So, imagine how my heart broke under the weight of this news. From NewsOK.com:
We have a lot to cover this Monday. The tweets in the OKC area were really at a whole ‘nother level this past week. I’d like to congratulate all of you for stepping up your tweet game. Some people say you should dance like no one is watching. But it’s clear you guys like to tweet like your boss can’t google you. Personally, I’m more the type to eat Taco Bell like my jeans have an elastic waist band. But you know, to each their own. Anyway, let’s get to the tweets!
Sometimes I think it would be really cool to live in a past era, and then I remember that I’m a brown woman and that it would totally suck for me. I would literally kill for a Mad Men-style wardrobe, but the present is definitely the best time to exist as a lady. Except if maybe you live in Bartlesville.
According to the Bartlesville Examiner-Enterprise:
Well, it certainly was a weekend, wasn’t it? I spent it drinking Miller High Life at Sequoyah State Park with some ladies I’ve known since before puberty. We were drunk by 11 AM and listening to the explicit mixes of rap songs while families tried to have cookouts about 20 yards away. Sorry, families. I guess this massive hangover is my punishment for ruining your little weekend trip.
While I’m busy sobering up by drinking all the coffee in my office’s break room and laying my head on the cold desk, you can read these tweets. And if there’s a local account that we should be following–famous/infamous or not–hit us up at @TLOMMT and let us know!
Check out this week’s tweets after the jump!
It would probably not surprise anyone to know that as a kid, I was as unmotivated to do things as I am now. I’ve always believed that the shortest distance between two points is the path of least resistance, and that’s the path I’ve always taken through every stage of my life. Overachieving is best left to the folks who have the energy and drive. If you need me, I’ll be resting on my laurels in the garage with a can of beer.
This life philosophy also applied to my Girl Scout (or Daisy and Brownie, rather) career. I signed up because all the boys I knew in Boy Scouts got to go on sweet campouts and earn all sorts of worthwhile badges that involved jumping into frozen lakes and turning their pants into flotation devices. But it turned out as a Brownie, all I got to do was sell cookies and learn to make natural cleaning supplies from lemon juice and salt. I’m not even kidding about that. I’m still livid.
Anyway, there are apparently some members of the Girl Scouts who aren’t enraged by the inequality, or they at least have troop leaders that follow through on shit. One such scout is selling a ton of cookies. According to NewsOK.com:
Oklahoma City Girl Scout Katie Francis has achieved her goal of breaking the national record for cookie sales — and she’s getting national attention for it.
In February, the Hefner Middle School sixth-grader set her sights on breaking the national record after smashing the state record for Girl Scout cookies sales two years in a row.
Katie’s mother, DeLee Francis, confirmed for The Oklahoman on Monday that the 12-year-old has exceeded her record-breaking goal of selling 18,100 boxes of cookies. As of Sunday night, Katie had sold 18,107 boxes of the tasty treats, her mom said.
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