Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 22

Friday night in the big town: Soilwork, Extreme Makeover, and Larry the Cable Guy

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Happy Friday, readers. By the time you read this, you will probably have already undergone the moment of silence to remember the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building, if your company makes an announcement for it. And I’m sure that your Facebook feed is full of sad reminders of that day 18 years ago, no doubt with parallels drawn to recent events. This past week has been pretty awful news-wise, and for many Oklahomans, today is a reminder of loss. I’m not good at giving inspirational peptalks or words of wisdom. But, maybe I can make you smile today. And while it’s probably not much, can I offer this one bit of irreverence in the form of a blog post? I can’t promise you’ll laugh. And if you don’t, come find me in real life. I’ll do the truffle shuffle for you to cheer you up.

Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

April 19: Soilwork at the Chameleon Room

Well, readers, never let it be said that I’m not “metal.” I watched Hesher the other day while home sick from work, and I can honestly say that I’d be down with being metal if it involves a dirty Joseph Gordon Levitt. Can I get an amen, ladies? Also, I like umlauts. I have no idea how they affect the pronunciation of words because I took Spanish as my foreign language through school, but who doesn’t love two little polka dots over your vowels? So metal!

Soilwork is a Swedish band, which I assume means they are in some way related to my favorite culinary muppet. They’re currently touring in support of their ninth studio release—The Living Infinite—a double-disc album that debuted at #60 on the Billboard Hard Music chart. So if you’re hard, drink Jägermeister, and, like my one cousin who inexplicably shaved his head to leave one tuft of hair on his forehead that looks kind of like a mustache and wears weird gauntlets to Wal-Mart, are one with the devil, this show is probably for you.

Pretty soon, the weird lady who lives next door can legally sell you her pumpkin bread…

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Food service, readers. Is there a better business? Not only do you create and serve food to sustain the masses, but you make money in the process. As someone who formerly worked in restaurants, and as someone who currently spends a lot of time eating at restaurants, I’m a fan of the food service industry. I think it’s important for me to let everyone know that when it comes to bakeries, I am absolutely in love.

Much like Shakira, my hips don’t lie, and these hips will tell you all about the chocolate cake, the cupcakes with butter cream icing, and all those delightful and buttery shortbread cookies that I’ve consumed in the past week. (Yeah, I said week. I know it’s only Wednesday, and when you take into account that I’ve had the flu and pretty much didn’t eat at all on Tuesday, it’s pretty impressive how many baked goods I’ve been able to down so far. You say gluttony, I say accomplishment.) However, my sugar consuming may be coming to a halt soon. The governor has basically signed a law that let’s little old lady hoarders bake bugs into cookies and then sell them.

According to NewsOK.com:

Friday night in the big town: The Plaza, improv, and Jefferson Starship

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Well, it’s been quite a week, readers. Tony has threatened to kill me if I disclose a secret he sent me via text, and he and Patrick both have made fun of me for not watching Breaking Bad. Firstly, I really want to tell you Tony’s secret, but in a stupid “you show me yours, I’ll show you mine” sort of move, I disclosed that I am possessing of the same affliction, and he could just as easily ruin me and we’d have to hang out forever on the Island of Misfit Toys. Secondly, I totally want to watch Breaking Bad. It’s just that I didn’t start watching when it first came out, and now I’m so far behind that it’s going to be impossible to catch up in a timely fashion. I bet there’s plenty of time to watch the exploits of ol’ Walter White on the Island of Misfit Toys…

Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

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April 12: Spring into the Plaza

The folks down at the Plaza sure are optimistic. After this week’s cold snap, I have no hope for sunshine ever, and I’m not even gonna pretend like spring is here. And I’m never putting my coat away again because April is a freaking liar. And as far as things that have sprung…well, spring ain’t one of them. But I’ll let the Plaza have their fun. Maybe if we keep acting like spring is here, then we’ll finally get it.

This weekend is the grand opening of Paint and Cheers, a place where you can create works of art with friends and family. And if you aren’t the painting type, Size Records is celebrating their opening inside the Velvet Monkey.  There will be art and music and good times for everyone. Check out some naughty things at Ruff Life Lingerie and Vintage and cruise through DNA Galleries’ new renovation.

Sonic needs to add these items to their secret menu…

My daily work commute sends me through three cities—Norman, Newcastle, and Oklahoma City. And, for the particular route I take, I often find myself lamenting the fact that I don’t pass by one coffee shop, especially on those days that I sleep in and forget to make coffee and go to work with my hair smelling like the cigarette smoke from the bar I was at the night before. In fact, the only sort of thing I pass are Sonic restaurants. Four of them, to be exact.

This isn’t odd, especially in Oklahoma, where the food pyramid base consists of items that can be dipped in ranch dressing. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a special order for Sonic’s happy hour, and as I type this, I’m having impure thoughts about Ched R Bites. Sonic fills that hole in all our souls in a way that love and human connections never could. But apparently, Sonic has been holding out on us.

According the fine folks over at NewsOK.com, there is a secret menu at Sonic, and they’re trying to get to the bottom of it:

Ever go rogue and order something at Sonic that is not on the menu?

The Oklahoma City-based restaurant apparently has a “secret menu” featuring old favorites like Pickle-O’s and special drink concoctions like Dr. Van Lime. Die-hard customers will know what we mean.

Really, NewsOK? You gonna name drop like that like you’re somehow in the loop? Well, if you’re so in the loop, then why the hell you need to ask us what’s on the menu? That’s right. I’m calling you out.

Secondly, Sonic, I thought we were friends. I carry you everywhere with me, primarily on my thighs and hips but generally everywhere. You have a special place in my heart, and by that I mean you will be the reason for my future bypass surgery. This makes me really depressed and I’m going to boycott you, but with depression comes the need to eat my feelings and HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS IF I’M NOT COMING TO YOUR GLISTENING STALLS TO ORDER POPCORN CHICKEN, SONIC?

Now, if you do a Google search for Sonic’s secret menu, you come up with items like this: The Sonic sunrise, The Dr. Pepper orgasm, grilled ham and cheese, purple Sprite, and the Frito pie. If you’ve tried to order a Frito pie in Norman lately, you know that they do not acknowledge it as a menu item, secret or otherwise, which leads me to believe that this secret menu is a load of crap.

But this got me to thinking. There are some food items that I would really like to have that I know I will never get because I don’t have a deep fryer. But I’m prepared to give these fantastic ideas to Sonic so they can make all my dreams come true.

Friday night in the big town: Nelly, Okie Folkies and Freaks, and Plaza Sunday

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I have a fun game for you to play this weekend, readers. It’s a bit of a springtime bingo of sorts. That rain has finally stopped (I know we needed it, but dang it was cold) and now it’s time for us to resume our springtime follies. So, every time you spot one of the following this weekend, you get to take a drink. When you see a girl in a sundress and cowboy boots, a girl in Nike running shorts and Ugg boots, or a tanning bed sunburn on some legs wearing either of the previous two combinations, take a drink. Additionally, if you see a dude in a pastel polo that his wife/girlfriend clearly bought him for springtime, take a drink. Otherwise, you know, just keep drinking. It’s the weekend.

Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

nelly

April 6: Nelly at the Lucky Star Casino in Concho

Growing up I watched a lot of reruns of Little House on the Prairie with my great grandma, right before Highway to Heaven came on. We also watched The Young and the Restless and The Price is Right. But my favorite character on Little House was Nelly Oleson. Homegirl was a bitch. I respect that. Also, if her character ever uttered the phrase “It’s hot in here,” it didn’t end with a song.

There are other Nellies in this world, readers. And one of them inspired America to take off all their clothes just because he couldn’t find the switch for the ceiling fan. I hope Nelly finds the weather satisfactory while he’s here. I’d hate to think that unsuspecting fans would get arrested for indecent exposure simply because a rapper encouraged them to take their clothes off.