In case you missed it, yours and my Oklahoma City Thunder traded Reggie Jackson and Kendrick Perkins yesterday. I don’t really know the finer points of sports things. And I imagine you’ve already heard about all the implications of the trade from more informed sources. However, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that no one cares about Vanity Perkins leaving Oklahoma City as much as I do.
Vanity is the first lady of the Thunder. But now, she must step down and follow her husband to a strange and new world that has weirder alcohol laws than we do. Let’s all pause for a moment and imagine the Divine Miz P outside a Mormon Temple.
If you followed her on Instagram, you know that she had the face of an 18-year-old with the fashion budget of Harold Hamm’s ex. She seemed to have a new outfit (and a bathroom selfie to document it) for every Thunder game.
It’s hard to say what I’ll miss most about her. The Thunder’s off the court image seems to be so strictly controlled, to the point where the players don’t seem like actual people. But Vanity didn’t let that get her down. She always had something to say, regardless of how the Thunder Ministry of Propaganda felt about it. There was the time she called out the city of Edmond, the time she interviewed Mary Fallin about fashion, the time she got into a fight with Jim Traber, and the time she got in a fight at a nail salon.
Yes, it’s safe to say we’re going to miss Vanity Perkins around these parts. Here are some pics. She’s our Hot Girl Friday…
I think it’s important that we, as a society, recognize brilliant artists that capture the zeitgeists of their era. Art is an indelible mark made in our collective consciousness, and as such remains immortal. Important works can convey their intended messages for years to come. It’s a very interesting and sort of existential sort of thing to think about, and maybe you need to have partaken in a little somethingsomething to get the full vibe I’m trying to convey.
I don’t want to start a debate about what constitutes art, because I don’t think this blog is the place for that talk and also because you can’t find a dictionary that gives you a good, all-encompassing definition. I will say this, though. Art generally conjures up ideas of importance and meaning. As it should. And, in case you haven’t heard, an Oklahoma artist is about to receive a pretty big deal kind of honor. According to KFOR.com:
I used to think that the only way I would get all the material things that I wanted was by stealing them. Sure, this isn’t the best way to get what you want, but I’ve got expensive taste and employers don’t seem to think that my multiple creative writing degrees make me a candidate worth the sort of dollars that enable a person to eat food items that aren’t on the dollar menu. So, stealing may be the way to go.
The issue is, though, that I don’t really know how to do that. Plus, if you scroll through the past 5 years worth of archives, you’ll totally see about a billion times where I’ve confessed to doing illegal things. So, it’s highly likely that I would steal something nice, and then get caught when I talked about it here. I’m no criminal mastermind, and I’m fine with that. Especially since now the Yukon PD has taken all the guesswork out of getting stolen goods. According to News9.com:
So, in case you’ve been living under a rock, Russell Westbrook is not only the Thunder’s resident honey badger and precious guy, he’s now a spokesman for True Religion. (Also, for those of you like me who have never bought jeans outside of the jeggings section at Kohl’s, True Religion makes things like jeans and also shirts, but mostly jeans.)
If you haven’t watched the ad, go ahead and watch it up top. Seriously. Do it. It didn’t convince me to buy a pair of True Religion jeans, but I have a longstanding feud with the fashion industry where I refuse to wear anything but Levi’s and American Apparel hoodies. Not even Russell Westbrook can break that. But it did convince me that maybe there’s hope for all us butt-lusting ladies out there now that Derek Fisher is gone.
I present to you Exhibit A:
Good morning and happy Monday! Welcome to Monday Morning Tweets! I’m going to assume that you’ve had some leftover/discount Valentine’s Day candy for breakfast today, and are really straddling that line between sugar high and nausea. That’s what I like to call “the sweet spot.” It’s where I live. And if we’re being completely honest, it’s the best way to set the tone for the rest of the week.
Anyway, pull up a chair and get ready. I’ve got a whole bunch of tweets for you from the week before. So, pop another conversation heart and get ready. This week’s tweets are after the jump!
Thanks! Your message has been sent!