Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 22

8 ways to improve the Turner Turnpike


Every once in a while, you have to go to Tulsa.

It’s not a bad place, per se. Cain’s is a great venue, and there are some neat things that happen there. I mean, it’s no Oklahoma City, but it’s not a bad place. The drive there, however, is the worst. I’m not sure why a drive that’s approximately 2 hours can seem so painful, but each and every time to make it, you swear off the northeast part of the state for good, only to return because, well, you have to.

But what if that drive didn’t suck so hard? What if those two lanes were less like torture, and more like a vacation? That’s why I bring to you a list of 9 things to improve the Turner Turnpike. Lord knows all the money we spend on the tolls should be going to something. Why not improvements?


8. High speed rail

This improvement involves getting rid of the turnpike all together. If I could hop in a train and take that to Tulsa instead of having to drive there, I would be one happy peach. I may even go to Tulsa more often if that were an option. I can almost guarantee that this train would do more business than the Heartland Flyer.


7. More vaginas

Speaking from experience, one is never enough.

Monday Morning Tweets: Local news folks really like to work out.

Happy Monday, and welcome back to Monday Morning Tweets. As always, I, Marisa, have brought you the very best tweets from the week before. Or, I’ve brought you the tweets I enjoyed the most from the week before. But you can rest assured that I have the best taste when it comes to tweets. So, sit back and begin your week the right way–by reading some tweets from the week before.

But before we get going, I need to remind you that Tony tweets about Jeopardy, and he’s trying to bring the rest of us down with him:

Edmond is organizing some life-size games


I’m constantly glad I don’t have children. Sure, watching them grow up and experiencing love on that level is probably rewarding, but is it worth all the work? Before you answer that, think about how tired you are of having to entertain your children during the summer, then come back at me with your response. Chances are your kid has already maxed out your credit cards by downloading crap for Mine Craft or left those brand new $75 cleats at the softball field last week to never be seen again. Suffice it say that I don’t think affording children is very rewarding. Plus, if I had a kid that told me they were bored, I would probably flip out on them since I would relish 3 whole months spent at home doing nothing but watching TV, eating pizza rolls, and having my iPad glued to my grubby paws.

The City of Edmond, however, understands that you need to find new and interesting things to do with your spawn, and they have you covered this summer. According to NewsOK.com:

EDMOND — Parks and recreation department officials this week will launch Life Size Game Days, which will recreate popular board games and allow families to portray the game pieces.

The first game is Edmondopoly, to be held at 5 p.m. Saturday at Chitwood Park, one block east of Kelly Avenue between First and Main streets. The park is also known as rocket ship park.

The event is free, and participants will be given play money.

The parks department is partnering with local business owners to enhance the game days, said Diane Self, the city’s recreation programs manager.

“We will be using sidewalk paint to recreate a Monopoly board using local Edmond businesses that have purchased property spaces,” Self said.

“All businesses purchasing locations will have the opportunity to set up a table or tent to speak with the families who land on their property and will be available to take play money when families purchase amusement tickets.”

That’s cool, I guess. The worst board game ever, and you have to walk around and basically be the little metal hat with your parents? Sign us all up, Edmond!

But seriously, I guess it’s kind of a cool idea, and I’m sure a lot of time and effort is going into it. It’s just, well, Monopoly sucks. So, to make this better, I totally made a list of games Edmond should make lifesize at the park.

Monday Morning Tweets: Lacey Swope is a fries in ice cream type of girl

Happy Monday and welcome to another edition of Monday Morning Tweets. You probably aren’t reading this, or at least all the tweets we get from people who didn’t know they were featured in the column would have us believe that you aren’t reading. And that’s cool, I guess.

Before we dig into this week’s tweets, I thought I should get something out-of-the-way. I admitted on Twitter that I would totally sleep with the tool box from Ghost Adventures on the Travel Channel, and then Tony favorited that tweet for use in this week’s MMT, like I would be shocked or embarrassed or something. Well, the joke’s on him, because if you scroll through the archives, you will see the hundreds of times I’ve admitted to having a crush on Fred Durst over the past four years.

Also, I don’t guess Patrick intended for this to happen, but I think Monday Morning Tweets and the associated Twitter account has now officially become the arena in which Tony and I will battle to the death. Anyway, check out the tweets after the jump.

There’s a chess prodigy in Midwest City


I have a theory that one of the reasons the Thunder players like playing in Oklahoma so much is because of all the jock perks they get. Functionally, the whole state is like a high school that never grew up, and there are tons of women that totally want to bone down with the star athlete, as well as a whole slew of bros who totally want to high five them. While this is probably great for people like Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant, it makes it hard for people like me. You know, the people who spent the majority of their high school career with a hoodie on over their head in the back row of the class, and that was only on the days they actually attended class. It makes it really, really hard for the nerds.

That’s why I was pretty surprised to read about the chess prodigy from Midwest City. According to NewsOK.com: