Happy Memorial Day! Thanks to all of all our service men and women who have defended, fought and died for our country, and given us the freedom to do important things like blog and make fun of tweets.
Anyway, do you hear that? That’s the sound of every family in the Oklahoma City area hitting all the centers of activity. I hope you didn’t want to go swimming/ziplining/to a movie today, because all the kids are out of school, and everyone is off work. Basically, it’s now that time of year where there are tons of lines to do fun stuff. But don’t worry too much about it. I’ve got some tweets for you. Sure, it’s not family cookout, but it’s more fun and entertaining than getting sunburn from spending too much time at the lake. Because who wants to go outside when you can stay at a computer all day even on your day off?
That’s what I thought. This week’s tweets are after the jump.
Perhaps one of everyone’s all-time favorite past times growing up in Oklahoma is complaining about there not being anything to do. This is probably the case for kids everywhere, because when you’re at the mercy of your parents and older siblings to give you a ride, and you’ve saved up all your allowance to discover that you only have $15, there’s not a whole lot you can do. But, we used to do a lot of stuff in the Oklahoma City Metro when I was growing up–a lot of which can’t be done anymore. Sure, kids these days have the Warren Theater and an NBA team, but do you remember back in the day when we had all sorts of fun, a lot of it sketchy and maybe even illegal? I do.
In honor of the end of the school year, I have made a list of things that kids of the Oklahoma City of yesteryear could do that kids these days will never get to experience. Not that they’ll really care–they have Snapchat, and when you have unfettered access to pictures of the genitals of strangers, you’re never really bored.. The onus to find something to do during your summer days doesn’t weigh so heavily upon them as it did on us. But still! Here’s my list of 9 things kids in Oklahoma City can’t do during the summer anymore.
1. Hanging out in the Belle Isle Power Plant
I never did this, but I remember hearing stories of kids sneaking in there before it was knocked down. I guess, for the same effect, you could sneak into the Belle Isle Old Navy and spray paint some of the walls instead. If you’ve ever been there on a Saturday, then you know that no one would even notice because the store is that big of a mess.
2. Breaking into the Guthrie haunted orphanage
Apparently, now you can get married in a place that my friends and I used to sneak into. No summer was complete without piling into someone’s car and heading up to Guthrie to see if we could see the ghosts of mistreated children. We never saw anything except for trash, grafitti and cops who totally knew what we were up to, but it was a nice break from going to Hafer Park after dark.
3. Going on an awkward date at Lion’s Fun Park/Perfect Swing
Correct me if I’m wrong, but the only place to get all crazy on some go karts and mini golf these days is Celebration Station. What do the kids even do for fun now when they want to awkwardly hold hands with someone until their mom picks them up?
Happy Monday, everyone. I hope you had a fantastic weekend. I’m personally recovering from the Oklahoma Craft Beer Fest in Bricktown this past weekend. (I’m really more trying to recover from eating at Hooter’s to sober up on Saturday night. That was painful.) I checked over my intoxicated social media activity from this past weekend to discover that I didn’t do too bad, as far as drunk tweets go. I did, however, invite a former coworker to punch my boyfriend in the junk via Instagram. So, yeah. Anyway, there are plenty more references to genitals in this week’s tweets. Check them out after the jump.
You know what I like to do on my lunch break? Look at pictures of Carlton Landing, a new town near Lake Eufaula. It’s gorgeous, and kind of looks like a J. Crew catalog set up a photo shoot there and forgot to break it all down when they were done. It’s full of traditional architecture and houses with blue and white siding. Seriously, I look at it on my phone and plan for a time when I can just pack up and live down there and wear polo shirts and khakis, but in the rich people way and not the Target employee way. I imagine it’s incredibly tranquil there. The loudest sound you hear is your neighbor knocking on your door to bring you a plate of fresh-baked cookies, and you never have to wake up before 10 AM. It was my favorite thing to think about during company meetings.
But not any more. Screw Carlton Landing. It’s a little too close to Lake Eufaula and it’s mutant inhabitants. From KOCO.com:
I really gotta stop waiting until the last-minute on Sunday nights to write-up Monday Morning Tweets, you guys. Especially since I spend the majority of my Sundays drinking. Just two short weeks and we get to enjoy Memorial Day, and you won’t be reading this from your cubicle while pretending to work. Until then, all you have are the dreams of an extra day off, and perhaps some of the very best tweets from the past week to get your day going.
As always, the tweets are after the jump.
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