Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 8

There’s a cemetery that uses GPS to find graves

Reflection Pointe Gardens

Generally, I try not to think about social customs and institutions that have existed for hundreds of years because regardless of how stupid they are, I know I can’t end them. That’s one of the main things I took from my undergrad sociology class—that you can’t end institutions. (That, and the origination of institutions is in the reciprocity of typifications. Whatever that means.)

Anyway, I’ve refused to let myself think about how inefficient and poorly designed cemeteries are because they’re never going to change. Or so I thought. It would appear that someone has really thought about how you lay your nana to rest, and they’ve found a way more efficient and technologically sound way of maintaining her final place of rest.

From News9.com:

Monday Morning Tweets

Good morning and happy Monday to everyone. Did you know that this is the last week of January? What in the actual Hell happened to this month? Time really flies when you’re completely ignoring your New Year’s resolutions. (That’s right. I’ve worked out so little this month. Also, eating healthy is lame.) Anyway, it looks like we have a crazy warm week ahead of us. Make sure you take advantage of the awesome weather. (I’m pretty sure Aaron Tuttle has been saying that we’re in for a snowmageddon. But how much can you trust a dude who takes Myspace-style ab selfies? You can’t.)

Anyway, as always I’ve collected the tweets from the past week for your enjoyment. So, grab yourself a cup of coffee, sit back, relax, and enjoy. As always, this week’s tweets are after the jump.

Some people don’t like it when you make fun of Edmond…

EdmondGhetto

I’ve been writing for The Lost Ogle for almost 5 years now. In my first post I suggested that you, the reader, ply John Mayer with liquor and invite B.J. Wexler out on a date. You would think that this would’ve set the tone for my tenure as a TLO contributor sufficiently. Well, it would appear it has not.

So, I’m taking a moment to address the criticism and comments we received from my post “9 reasons I hold a grudge against Edmond.” Maybe some people really took offense to the word “grudge.” In which case, I really meant a grudge like that Japanese horror movie in that I’m just a dead, cursed ghost doomed to wander Edmond forever. Nothing to see here.

Keep in mind that my post listed the reasons that *I* will always hold a grudge against Edmond and that the post is completely based upon my own experiences, experiences that, based on the comments, coincide with the experiences of A LOT of other people who grew up in Edmond. Oh, and I’m pretty much Patrick’s favorite contributor, so I can do whatever the Hell I want.

To those who suggest I grow up, stop whining, or get a life: no.

To those who suggest that making fun of Edmond is somehow low-hanging fruit: so is the rest of the metro area. There are only so many stripper jokes to be made about Valley Brook. There are only so many hipster jokes to make about the Plaza District. There are only so many aging hippies on recumbent bikes jokes to be made about Norman. There are only so many cage fighters running Pit Bull puppy mill jokes to be made about the Mid-Del area. Admittedly, there are a lot of jokes to be made about Piedmont. I’ve only barely scratched that surface.

Some of you had more constructive criticism. Like Malia:

9 reasons I hold a grudge against Edmond

Welcome_to_Edmond_sign

Ah, Edmond. It’s a nice, quiet city, the sort of place you want to raise your kids. Unless you were raised there, that is. If you grew up there, you know the ambivalence I’m talking about. Edmond may be home, but you sure as hell don’t tell anyone that when you grow up and go to college. I always thought I wanted to leave Oklahoma, but when I moved out of Edmond, I didn’t feel the urge to do so anymore.

Edmond is the Plano to Oklahoma City’s Dallas–suburban sprawl and mini malls to cater to the most discerning of upper middle class taste. My feelings about Edmond are why I started writing for TLO. And today, I’m going to share with you 9 reasons why I hold a grudge against Edmond.

 

UCO logo

UCO knocked down my great-grandparents’ house

So, little known Marisa fun fact: my family was from Edmond before Edmond was Edmond, by which I mean before white flight made Edmond the Edmond it is today. My great grandparents owned a house on property that was bought out by Central State University, later UCO. Now, I know that they bought the land from my great-grandparents, and then demolished the house. But as a little kid, I always imagined my pappy and my granny (yeah, that’s what we called them) fleeing for their lives as a wrecking ball swung toward them. To this day, I still cast a wary eye at UCO, lest they come for me.

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funny-awkward-prom-chickens

$100 senior prom

Monday Morning Tweets

Good morning, haters, and a happy Monday to all. If you work for the state or federal government or a bank, chances are you’re off work today. You should enjoy your sunny Monday by attending the MLK Day parade, and by not setting grassfires. If you’re at work, I feel bad for you. I have the day off, but at my new job, I never work on Mondays. It’s the best.

Anyway, since it is Monday, I’ve got some tweets for you to enjoy. So sit back, relax, and read on. As always, the tweets are after the jump!