Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 8

Watch this plane’s windy landing

Stryker-Sweating

Man, it sure is windy out there.

(How windy is it?)

It’s so windy that pretty much everyone keeps talking about it like they’ve never been in Oklahoma during the spring time. I shudder to think what will happen in May when Oklahoma weather does what it always does, and gives us a tornado. Will people still be surprised by the Oklahoma wind then?

Seriously, though, this wind sucks. My hair is permanently messed up and I haven’t been able to safely wear an A-line skirt all week. And if the pollen could stop blowing around all day, that would be fantastic. As it stands, I’m fried on Benadryl, which means I just take 4-hour naps 3-times a day.

But these aren’t the only hazards of wind. Check out this video that Chopper 4 got of a United Airlines flight that is wobbling like drunk dude in a sobriety test:

Edmond guy gives Nancy Drew a run for her money…

CrimeSeen.com

I’m always fascinated by what the middle age dudes are up to. Like, think about it. What is your dad doing right now? Is he indulging in some weird hobby? Watching an episode or 14 of Columbo? Tinkering with a lawn mower while sipping Coors Light? Muttering to himself about the unit price of grapefruits at Sprouts? Smoking weed in the garage?

Chances are it’s one of these things. But if it’s not, there’s a pretty good chance that he’s doing something that he thinks will make the world a better place. Like this dude, Paul Conrady, who created the wbsite CrimeSeen.com to catch bad guys. (Odds are that he got rid of cable and thus didn’t have access to all those Columbo episodes on the Hallmark Channel.)

The interesting thing about this site is that anyone can sign up and learn about crime happening in their area. (I won’t sign up, because I know where I live, and I don’t need to have any more anxiety triggers in my life.) But you can also report crimes in your area as well as share home security video from your home security cameras. According to the news story:

Oklahoma criminals should be more flamboyant with their nefarious schemes

drone

This week, a drone carrying some cell phones was caught outside the Cimmaron Correctional Facility. According to KFOR.com:

On Sunday, officials with the Oklahoma Department of Corrections says an unmanned aerial vehicle was found on the grounds of the Cimarron Correctional Facility.

A correctional officer spotted flashing lights near the fence along the perimeter and found the drone.

The drone was carrying a plastic sack with three cellphones inside it.

“New technology brings new problems,” said Department of Corrections Director Joe M. Allbaugh. “In the case of drones, we not only have to worry about the contraband attached, but also aerial photos being taken of facilities to help plan escapes or commit other crimes.”

This isn’t the first time this has happened in Oklahoma. And I would like to applaud those responsible. I think it’s important that criminals get creative, just so officers can take advantage of every potential opportunity to say “THE GAME IS AFOOT!” (If you’re an officer of the law and you aren’t saying that, you’re totally missing out on the greatest perk of your job, IMO.)

Surprise! The county where the sheriff actively encourages militias is the county where you’re most likely to get assaulted

assualt

It’s been awhile since we’ve seen any clickbaity stuff about Oklahoma being the best or worst or fattest or dumbest. And unfortunately, I don’t have a link to how terrible we are as a state. But fret not! It appears that to tide us over, we’ve received some clickbaity stuff on the county in Oklahoma where you’re most likely to get assaulted.

According to a recent study by FindTheHome, a residential real estate search engine, found that Carter County was the most dangerous county in Oklahoma, with 795.2 aggravated assaults per 100,000 people. This rate, it’s worth noting, is higher than the rate for Baltimore County, Maryland. It’s also worth nothing that Carter County does not have 100,000 people. In fact, the county itself has 48,288 people, which means that proportionally, they have more aggravated assaults than Baltimore County, Maryland.

Is this report primarily garbage? Yes. I mean, I doubt any sort of revered research institute will be contacting FindTheHome any time soon to get some useful demographic information for studies. And I think the data they produce is more than a little misleading.

But, it’s worth nothing something here:

Clearly the Oklahoma Turnpike Authority wants these poor Girl Scouts to end up like Marisa…

800px-Selling_girl_scout_cookies

Little known fact about me, readers: I used to be a Brownie. I started as a Daisy Scout, made it up to Brownie, and then at the tender age of 10, I quit scouting. Who knows what I could’ve been if I had made it up to Junior or Cadette Scout. I mean, at the very least, I’d probably be a better person than I am now. Like, you wouldn’t have this hella angry and jaded jerk who just likes to complain without doing anything to make the world a better place. But I quit, and that’s something I’ll have to live with forever.

Now, I joined Girl Scouts for two reasons: 1.) My mom made it sound really cool and like a lot of fun. And 2.) I knew that Boy Scouts got to do this weird polar bear challenge where they jump in a frozen pond, remove their pants, and then inflate them and tread water to earn a badge. That sounded really awesome to me, and in my Mr. Roger’s-addled mind, boys and girls were completely equal, so surely I would get to do exactly what the boys were doing, right?

Oh, poor, sweet, innocent little Marisa. My hopes were so high.