Every once in a while, an image can give you a glimpse into an alternate reality—a world or universe of what things could be had, perhaps, one small event gone differently. Now, I don’t really believe in a lot of supernatural stuff (though I’d love to start a coven, so women who enjoyed the movie, The Craft, and want to play light as a feather, stiff as a board, get at me!) but sometimes something makes you aware of other forces at work in this world, and it gets a little scary.
You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about. And yeah, it’s a little out there. But I think once you hear all about this old Tyler Durden-looking freak show who thought it’d be cool to try to kill some folks with a chainsaw, you’ll totally understand.
Readers of this blog may find it hard to believe, but I’ve never found myself on the wrong side of the law. Sure, I’ve been given a speeding ticket, but I’m pretty proud to say that I’ve never been arrested. (This may seem like it’s not that big of a deal, but think about all the branches of your family tree, and know that there are cousins who hold you in really high regard for never going to jail or cooking meth.)
But I do like to dream of the day when I do get arrested. I want it to be for a super big deal thing. Like, I want it to be the type of thing that is so legendary that the tales of what I did grow larger with time. Also, if it could be absolutely ridiculous, that would be cool too. It’s just right for my particular idiom, you know?
However, it looks like two boneheads from Midwest City may have stolen my future thunder. According the NewsOK.com:
Happy Monday, and welcome to this week’s Monday Morning Tweets. It’s a special occasion, as today is Groundhog Day. That’s right! Today we find out if spring is on the way, or if we see six more weeks of winter. I’m not entirely sure what rodents have to do with the changing of seasons, but then again, I didn’t go to school to be a meteorologist.
Pawncetawny Panxsutawny Pawnxsuitany Punxsutawney Phil probably has the same meteorological credentials as Aaron Tuttle, only that cute little rodent has never taken selfies of his abs or his tears. So he’s probably more trustworthy than some folks we have on the local scene.
Anyway, all that is to say that I have this week’s tweets all gathered up and ready for you. You can catch them, as always, right after the jump!
Norman is really the city that has it all. Sure, it’s full of young 20-somethings the majority of the year who make for long wait times when you want to get a table at a restaurant, or purchase one measly item at Target. Also, driving on Lindsey isn’t a thing that I do AT ALL from the months of August to May. But overall, the city is super chill. That’s something I really appreciate. Also, have you seen all the cool downtown art lately? Norman is the place to be.
But what if you live outside the Norman area and you’re looking for a job so you can officially relocate? Well, look no further. The Norman Police Department is totally hiring. In case you needed further proof that Norman was the coolest city in the OKC Metro, I’d like to submit for your approval a recruitment video released by the Norman Police Department:
I, like every kid who grew up in the 1990s have thought way too much about dinosaurs because I saw Jurassic Park one too many times. (At the Super Saver Cinema on NW Expressway and 63rd, no less.) Based upon the viewings of that film, as well as knowledge of myself and my personality, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would’ve fared about as well as the lawyer who got eaten right off the toilet if I were to ever come across a dinosaur. Suffice it to say that I have no desire to ever see any sort of prehistoric lizard.
But, I’m afraid I have to report that not only are there people out there who like dinosaurs, there are also people who steal them. According to KOCO.com:
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