Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick – Page 162

Toby Keith was apparently too drunk at a concert…

Toby Keith performs @ Aarons Amphitheater @ Lakewood in Atlanta Ga. 8-2412 Lisa Keel/PeachtreeImages.com 2012

It’s been a weird couple of weeks for Oklahoma country music superstars.

First, Oklahoma-hatin’ Garth Brooks fell on stage like a friend in low places while trying to jump around like an acrobat, and now Toby Keith is being criticized for being slobberknockered drunk at a concert. Maybe next week Carrie Underwood will have a wardrobe malfunction or something. That would be cool.

Here are the details of Drunky Keith’s debacle from something called Saving Country Music:

The Boston Globe featured an old school travel article about Oklahoma City…

©  Boston Globe

© Boston Globe

In case you missed it, the Boston Globe featured a travel article about Oklahoma City on Sunday. The guest piece was written by Dan McGinn, who is also a senior editor for the Harvard Business Review. Dan and his family were apparently in town for an equestrian event, and I guess he thought a quick article about the visit would be a good excuse to write off the trip.

Despite spending most of his time trapped at the State Fairgrounds, Bricktown and 1-40 and Meridian hotel corridor, McGinn seemed to enjoy his visit to OKC. In fact, he wrote:

“Even if Oklahoma City is not a top-of-mind destination, many of us came home convinced it deserves a place on most bucket lists.”

I’m a homer. As I like to say to girls in Bricktown, I was born in this city, raised in this city, and am probably going to die in this city. I like it when The Boston Globe, Meet The Press, New York Times and happy old Seamus come to town and are impressed with what they see and experience, but if “Visit Oklahoma City” is on your travel bucket list, it either means:

A. You need a better bucket list.

B. You’re an East Coast Elitist who writes for the Harvard Business Review and has already visited many of the world’s finest cities and places.

Seriously, feel free to say nice things about us, National Travel Writers, but please make it believable. Although we’re pretty sure they are already paying people to write nice things about Oklahoma City, we don’t want people to think the Chamber is paying people to write nice things about Oklahoma City. Tone it down a little, or the next time you’re in town we’ll take you to Lyrewood Lane.

Actually, you can tell the local Chamber of Commerce had nothing to do with this article. That’s because it doesn’t used any of the buzzwords commonly found in any article about Oklahoma City. You know what I’m talking about – those dozen or so words that you would think are part of some Oklahoma City Travel Article Generator. Noticeably absent were stalwarts such as:

• Thunder
• Bombing
• MAPS
• Devon Tower
• The Flaming Lips
• Renaissance
• Boathouse
• Presti
• Cornett
• Midtown
• Rowing
• Tornado* (Okay, there was one reference, but it’s just a one-time only reference to Tornado Alley)

So, how was a writer able to pen something about The OKC without using those words? Easy. He went old school. Outside of a few mentions of Bricktown, this was like reading a magazine article about Oklahoma City from 1994. It focused on Oklahoma City’s western heritage, western culture and the western stereotype image the city’s been trying so hard to distance itself from over the years. Hell, the damn thing is even called “Cowboy Up.”

For example, the highlight of his “family trip” was riding the mechanical bull at the Sooner Corral:

This guy found a smart way to get cops to find his stolen car…

william johnson

I’d like to nominate William Johnson (pictured above) for the Journal Record’s 2015 “Innovator of the Year.” Hopefully he’ll be allowed to accept the award while in jail.

On Friday night, Johnson’s Suburban was stolen from a Tulsa gas station. He then did what any smart person would do when their car is jacked and they want to find it. He called police, reported the crime, and, oh, kind of lied about a five-year-old kid being in the backseat, triggering a statewide Amber Alert and sending 60+ Tulsa police officers in search of the stolen vehicle.

What could go wrong with that?

Via News 9:

Hot Girl Friday: Miss Oklahoma Alex Eppler

Back in June, we told you about Alexandra (a.k.a Alex) Eppler’s long long long long long road to becoming Miss Oklahoma.

Well, her time to shine and hopefully not talk about South Africa and US Americans is finally here. This weekend, a new Miss America will be crowned, and according to KFOR, Alex is already dominating the most important preliminary competition:

An Oklahoma beauty queen has won a preliminary award at a prestigious national pageant.

Alex Eppler, who was crowned Miss Oklahoma, is currently competing in the 2015 Miss America Competition.

On Wednesday night, Eppler was the preliminary ‘Lifestyle and Fitness’ winner.

Seriously, they call it the “Lifestyle and Fitness” competition? Since when does starving yourself and gobbling down salt tablets equate to a healthy lifestyle? That’s absurd. To balance it out, they should rename the talent portion. I’d suggest something more accurate like “Unintentional Comedy Competition.”

Anyway, here are some pics of Alex. We wish her the best of luck and will be cheering her on. She’s our Hot Girl Friday:

Some girl stole her neighbor’s garden gnome…

alc

The Village is getting weirder.

First the city was invaded by skunks. Now they’re being infiltrated by an organized garden gnome racket. These two things have to be related, right? If so, I blame the elves.

Earlier this week, Allison Cameron (pictured above), or as David the Gnome calls her – Allykink Fizzlewhistle – was busted making her own private Statuary World franchise when Village police caught her stealing diminutive statues and figurines from her neighbor’s yard.

KFOR’s Andrew “Borrowing My Grandpa’s Old Suit” Donley has all the details: