Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick – Page 162

TLO Caption Contest: Christina Fallin kissing another dude

Last week, we experimented with a caption contest featuring a photo of Al Eschbach talking to a Hooters waitress. The results were kind of funny, so I figured I’d push our chances and try another one. This week’s photo is of Christina Fallin kissing hipster musician Jacob Abello. She posted it to her now private Instagram account late last week.

Before we get to that pic, lets review the previous week’s contest. Here’s the photo and some of my favorite captions:

al eschbach

“Jim Traber has bigger hooters than you!”

“Did you ever see the Seinfeld where Kramer got a new shower head?”

“Hell yeah I can introduce you to the other six dwarfs!”

“How much is this semester going to cost me?”

“You know it’s in the Hooters bylaws that I get all Mike Stoop’s sloppy seconds.”

“I agree with you Kayla, this is the most talented defensive recruiting class since 2001.”

“Is that a radish in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“People tell me this hat makes me look like Indiana Jones.”

“So, uhhhh, yeah…What was a Gene Chandler’s top hit from March 1961? You don’t know? Geezzzz, it was Duke of Earl, come on!”

Great work, Moles. If your comment was mentioned shoot me an email and I’ll get you a TLO Trivia Night ink pen in the mail. Here’s this week’s photo:

Constance Johnson has introduced Medical Marijuana legislation

Even though she’s kind of weird, State Senator Constance Johnson has quickly become my favorite Oklahoma lawmaker. Last year she introduced a series of satirical amendments that were intended to show the hypocrisy of men who backed the personhood movement. One amendment prohibited depositing semen in places that are not a woman’s vagina, another banned vasectomies, and a third forced convicted rapists to get vasectomies and financially provide for their offspring. None of the amendments passed, but they all successfully made a point.

Anyway, this time around Senator Johnson has introduced a bill that both liberals and those “Get the gub’ment out of my private life” conservatives can rally behind. She wants to allow medical marijuana in Oklahoma!

From KMRG:

Sally Kern asked James Lankford a question at a Town Hall. What could possibly go wrong with that?

This past week, the liberal website ThinkProgress.com released two clips of US Congressman James Lankford answering questions at an Oklahoma City Town Hall. Warning, the clips show graphic imagery of stupidity and ignorance.

In the first video, Lankford fielded a question about “the guns” and “psychiatric drugs.” Somehow, he found a way to give a response that blames gun violence on evil “welfare moms”who put their kids on psychiatric drugs with the goal of defrauding the government. The video is worth watching not just for Lankford’s ridiculous response, but to also get a chuckle at the Derplahoman who asked the question. She looks and speaks like the type of person who stays up late each night wearing a tin foil hat and looking out her window for black helicopters and the thought police. That is, of course, when she’s not listening to gospel hymns or Coast to Coast AM.

Normally we would dedicate an entire post to Lankford’s bizarre answer to that question, but his gun comment was quickly overshadowed by an exchange with his friend and fellow conservative theocratic nut Sally Kern. Here’s the video and transcript via Think Progress:

Channel 9 got their Bobs confused…

Back when TV chopper pilot Jim Gardner made the jump from Channel 4 to Channel 9, there was a rumor that he was taking the lucrative Bob Moore helicopter sponsorship with him. That never materialized. Instead, Channel 9 went the route of a different Robert and inked Bob Mills Furniture to a long-term chopper sponsorship. So now whenever Jim Gardner rescues a deer from a frozen pond, follows a police chase through Jones, or surveys death and destruction following a catastrophic multi-vortex maxi-wedge grinder, you’ll be reminded of love seats, the Pillow Bar and that moderately attractive chiropractor from the Sleep Spa Studio.

Well, apparently some intern at Channel 9 didn’t get that memo. Check out this crudely taken photo that a Mole sent us from a recent News 9 broadcast:

bob moore jim gardner

Hmmn, something tells me “The Working Man’s Friend” isn’t going to be happy with that. He’ll be more upset than that time in 2004 when he accidentally shrunk all his sweaters in the dryer.

Anyway, on the topic of Jim Gardner and crudely taken photographs, take a look at this post that Jim Gardner left on his Facebook page when he learned that Mary Ann Eckstein was out as the news director at Channel 4. It’s amusing:

This promotional video for Enid is kind of depressing

Last year, the Oklahoma City Chamber produced this silly promotional video called “Where We’ve Been (Where We’re Goin’).” I think it was supposed to show people (and potential new businesses) about all the progress our town has made. We were kind of critical:

I would bet some serious money that the everyone involved in the production of that commercial lives in Edmond. The only thing whiter than that thing is the lower level of a Thunder game. They even made the black kids look stale and boring and white.

Seriously, who approved this video? Captain Boredom? Also, isn’t it time that Oklahoma City begins to act like we’ve been there before? “Yay!!! We got a Whole Foods!!!” Now just move on, park your Lexus, and go buy some overpriced organic foods with other boring white people.

Speaking of boring white people, what’s up with the song? It sounds like something you’d hear at the end of service at Crossings church only a lot worse. The singers look like they just had dinner at Applebee’s. I’ve heard better vocals at Nancy’s Lighthouse on a Wednesday night.

Well, it looks like we owe an apology to our friends at the Oklahoma City Chamber. After watching this promotional video produced by the Enid Regional Development Alliance, I guess the OKC Chamber video really isn’t that bad.

Check out the ad. It’s called “Enid, We Got It!”: