Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick – Page 162

Sparkle Titsworth lives in Oklahoma City…

KateUpton2013SportsIllustrated_t653

A few days ago, the “35 Reasons We Have a List for Everything” website Buzzfeed compiled a roll of “15 People Who Hit Life’s Jackpot.” The post celebrated life’s “little victories,” like winning a bunch of tickets at Chuck E. Cheese, stumbling across a bunch of peanuts, or being trapped in the land of belly dancers.

One pic from OKC even made the list. It’s a classic:

Russell Westbrook drives a very fast yellow car…

In what can be defined as a classic “look ahead” game, the Thunder were soundly defeated by the Utah Jazz on Tuesday night by a score of 109-94. You really can’t blame Berry’s Boomers for the crummy performance. With the Heat coming to OKC tonight for perhaps the biggest regular season home game in Thunder history, who really cares about an average Utah squad.

After the game, a reporter asked Russell Westbrook a question. And this happened:

Stupid episodes like that are why I can never get 100% behind Russell Westbrook. I know he’s an elite player, but he wears his emotions on his sleeves, and it just so happens those emotions mimic a screaming and crying eight-year-old whose Mom won’t let him get two scoops at Baskin-Robbins. Seriously, it’s time for Russ to grow up and quit throwing childish tantrums. He’s turning into the Regular Jim Traber of the Oklahoma City Thunder. Each time he explodes like this (i.e. running off the court, jawing with KD, etc.) it makes me wonder if Presti traded away the wrong all-star. Maybe he did. Would you rather have KD & Russ or KD & Harden? You can make a compelling case for both.

Anyway, I didn’t intend for this post to devolve into a fruitless debate over Harden and Westbrook (I’m team Harden). I just wanted to point out that based on Westbrook’s attitude, it’s not very surprising that he drives this car:

Someone built a meth “lavatory” on a Purcell golf course

First of all, I’m very sorry about the pun in the headline. It was like the “Why Not?” slice of pizza. It was just setting there, warm and readily available, and I couldn’t resist the urge to eat it up.

Anyway, in case you haven’t heard by now, some classy person in Purcell built a Shake-N-Bake meth lab inside a portable toilet at Purcell golf course. The locals in town called it the 20th hole.

Via the award-winning news team at KFOR:

Under cover drug agents defuse a mini meth lab found inside a porta-potty in the middle of a golf course Tuesday in Purcell.

Staffers noticed strange sports drink bottles with chemicals inside the porta-potty and called police.

Officers arrived and soon realized someone had been inside making meth using the “shake and bake” method.

Three bottles were found, two of them exploded before detectives arrived.

Agents were able to neutralize the third one without the harmful chemicals erupting.

“If someone would have been in the porta-pot when it happened they might have gotten hurt by the flying plastic and the chemicals,” Purcell Dt. Cpl. Scott Stephens said.

Investigators said they have a lead on one suspect but said they believe others could be involved.

The inside of the unit was damaged but agents were able to submit latent fingerprints to a crime lab.

I will not make a Breaking Bad reference. I will not make a Breaking Bad reference. I will not make a Breaking Bad reference. I will not make a Breaking Bad reference. I will not make a Breaking Bad reference. I will not make a Breaking Bad reference. I will not make a Breaking Bad reference. I will not make a Breaking Bad reference.

Sorry about that, too. It’s pretty much impossible now for a blogger to write about meth without mentioning Breaking Bad, and I figured that would help remind me not to do it. Seriously, how did we make fun of meth heads before Breaking Bad became the best show on television? I checked our archives and it looks like we just made teeth jokes and references to Rock 100.5 The Katt. Rick Reilly and drivers of Firebirds would be proud.

Portable toilets in Purcell are not the only strange places in our state where people make meth. A group of thugs in McAlester were recently busted cooking meth in their apartment…that was located across the street from the police station.

Via NewsOK.com:

These local comedians tried to re-make Clerks…

Kashif Mustafa and Josh Lathe as Randal and Dante

A few weeks ago, I received a weird email from local stand-up comic James Nghiem.  He and some comedy buddies attempted to make a shot-by-shot remake of Clerks and he wanted me to know about it.

My first response to James should have been why would you want to remake Clerks? Was there not a better overrated movie available? My 2nd grade play — Betsy Ross and the American Flag — had better acting than Clerks. Then again, maybe that’s why he chose Clerks. The acting in that film is so bad he wouldn’t have trouble duplicating it. Plus, he could finally use the black and white filter on his camera.

Anyway, I didn’t ask those questions. Instead I asked home to summarize the project. This what he wrote:

Basically, I spent a year trying to film a shot-for-shot remake of the movie Clerks using local comedians as actors and local bands covering the original soundtrack in their own way. I used convenience stores in Oklahoma as set locations and I wanted to post it to YouTube as kind of a ridiculous project/joke that went too far. It was kind of a light project to involve as many people in the scene as I could. In the process of filming, a lot of actors had to quit, crew left, Slaughterville (where we were shooting) caught on fire. I had spent a ton of money (not a ton of money but a lot for a guy who doesn’t make movies ever) already on the project and we still had half of the movie to go. And a lot of the actors would have to change, or we would have to reshoot a lot of the movie to finish the film, so we decided to make a movie about a guy remaking “Clerks.” Kevin Smith found out and tweeted about it. He still hasn’t seen the film, but I’m hoping we’re still on his radar. We’re screening it live one more time tonight in Norman and then it’s hitting YouTube.

Since James is a nice guy and kind of reminds me of the Asian kid from Goonies, I decided to publish the movie on here. It also features cameos by TLO contributors Spencer and Marisa. I didn’t know about this until I watched the thing. Thanks for keeping me informed, minions.

Dim the lights in the office and enjoy, Moles:

20 shallow tweets from Oklahomans complaining that an Amber Alert interrupted The Bachelor…

justice poindexter

Last night, an Amber Alert was issued across the state for 4-year-old Justice Poindexter (pictured above) of Bixby. Fortunately, the boy and his abductor were located about an hour after the alert was issued.

Via News 9:

A 4-year-old Bixby boy was found about an hour after a statewide Amber Alert was issued Monday night.

Justice Poindexter was allegedly taken by his father’s roommate.

Justice’s father told News On 6 he got off work Monday afternoon and found his home ransacked and his child missing. It triggered an all-out search and an Amber Alert was issued around 8 p.m.

About an hour later, police received a call that the boy and the suspect, 31-year-old Natasha Hoch, were at the Kum & Go at 101st and Riverside. There, they found Justice safe with Hoch, who was taken into custody by the Jenks Police Department.

At this time, police had no information about a possible motive, but they did say the boy’s father had left him in Hoch’s care, while he was at work.

Court records show Hoch was convicted in 2009 of driving under the influence of drugs.

Justice’s father said he was grateful to everyone who worked to quickly locate his son.

I don’t care if you’re getting gas, need a pack of gum, or are trying to kidnap a child. If you live in Tulsa, why would you ever choose Kum and Go over Quik Trip? At last check, there’s a QuikTrip on every corner in Oklahoma’s Second City. That would be like going with Wal-Mart over Target, the Barons over the Thunder, or Penn over May. It’s just weird.

Although Justice is now safe and sound, some people were not too pleased that an Amber Alert was used to help rescue him. The alert apparently interrupted a key moment in last night’s Bachelor broadcast, triggering a flurry of angry tweets from young, naive and complete shallow Oklahomans. Their embarrassing reactions are the type of things you’d expect to see from people who enjoy the lowest form of mind-numbing entertainment.

Here are 20 or so of them: