Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick – Page 162

Steve Shaw had a Facebook malfunction…

steve shaw

I don’t know what it is, but I kind of like News 9’s Steve Shaw. Sure, he’s over-the-top, obnoxious, dramatic, and louder than an AWACS flying over Midwest City, but aren’t we all when we drink 10 Red Bulls in one day?

Seriously, how can you not like Steve? He’s what happened when the weird chubby kid who played with Tonka trucks grew up and became a news reporter. When Steve’s not working, I imagine him sitting at the end of a bar with his tie loosened, sipping on cheap whiskey while humming Van Halen songs and occasionally bragging out loud to no one in particular about the time he stole Dean Blevins’ Smart Ones.

Actually, I’m just joking. I doubt Steve really stole Dean’s frozen dinner. I think the only thing Steve has ever stolen from Dean is a penchant social media gaffes.

For example, check out what he put on Facebook on Saturday.

Mary Fallin drove a tank…

mary fallin tank

It’s going to be another great a four years.

In what can only be interpreted as a symbolic statement to how she crushed Joe Dorman, Mary Fallin drove a tank over an old, beat up car on Friday.

She also fired a machine gun.

It was all part of the grand opening celebrations for the new Wilshire Gun. It’s the new gun range near Nichols Hills that has a restaurant and bar on premises.

Via KOCO:

A large crowd gathered at the Wilshire Gun grand opening Friday to watch Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin drive a tank over an old car.

The stunt kicked off the three-day opening celebration, as Wilshire Gun becomes the first shooting range in the state to sell alcohol.

“Well it was interesting being able to ride in this tank and crush a car, and what an exciting way to open up the Wilshire Gun range today,” Fallin said. “It’s a great new edition to Oklahoma City and it’s creating jobs.”

Fallin said having a place that teaches gun safety is an important addition to the community.

“Having the ability to have meeting spaces where people can learn about gun safety and the appropriate handling of firearms, which is also a very important part of gun ownership,” Fallin said.

Yes, outside of a nursery or fireworks stand, there’s no better place to learn about gun safety and the appropriate handling of firearms than a gun range that serves alcohol. Because you know, alcohol helps you retain information and improve decision making.

There are plenty of ridiculous images from the event. My two favorites were tweeted by Hank from Family Guy impersonator Morgan Chesky:

Hot Girl Friday: Lovely Ladies of Lawton

knuckles

When I was doing “research” for Knuckles’ amazing music video “Andyyyyy,” I hopped on Model Mayhem to see if I could locate the rump shakin’, white t-shirt wearin’, flea market shoppin’ hotties that he (hopefully) paid to twerk and dance around in horse shit.

Unfortunately, my quest came up empty, but as a sign that there is a God and that his son does in fact eat at the Lawton El Chico, I stumbled across totally real modeling profiles for women like this:

lawton hottie 1

This…

lawton hottie 2

And this…

lawton hottie 3

Yes, the Lawton modeling profiles on Model Mayhem may be the best thing ever. Check out more pictures of the “Lovely Ladies of Lawton” below, presented without comment. You may be surprised by what you see. They are our Hot Girl Friday.

Here are some more awesome retro OKC TV commercials…

mathis brothers commercial

About every six months or so, some dude on the Internet takes a bunch of old Oklahoma City television commercials from the 1980s and 1990s that are trapped on VHS tapes and releases them back into the wild via YouTube. He then emails a link to the clips, because he knows we’re suckers for old OKC nostalgia and enjoy living in the past.

Well, the guy is at it again. He recently sent us a link to a batch of early 1980s spots that feature Oklahoma City advertising icons like Eleanor Kamber, Jude N’ Jody, Linda Soundtrack, and the young, handsome, swingin’ style Mathis Brothers.

The grab bag also includes a young, dashing, heroic “Big News 9” meteorologist Gary England unveiling his latest doppler invention, the He Man and The Masters of the Universe Power Tour, and an insanely sexist advertisement for a gym called International Fitness.

Check it out. It will take you back in time…

This music video by a white rapper from Lawton is a thing of beauty…

lawton rapper

I think we found the cause of the recent syphilis outbreak in Lawton.

A while back, Spencer and I stumbled across a music video by some white Lawton rapper named “Knuckles.” His name is apparently inspired by the things people bite when they hear his music.

The video is the most Lawton thing ever. The name of the song is “Andyyyy,” which ironically enough is the most popular baby name in Lawton for 2013. It features Knuckles and his hypeman / partner / BFFuggalo Jesse Dalton rapping to the Andy Griffith theme, while occasionally dressed as clowns, and watching models they hopefully found on a Craigslist ad twerking and wrestling around in horse shit.

The whole thing makes Zero look like John Fulbright.

Check out it out: