Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick – Page 162

So, we were kind of wrong about the Garvin County Bean Feed

Pour a can of beans over my head. I was wrong.

Proving there are some things in life that you truly can’t make up, the Garvin County GOP Bean Feed is a totally real and spectacular event. It’s not a prank.

On August 24th, Garvin County Republicans really are going to set around, eat beans and cornbread, fart, and talk about the good old days of the Klu Klux Klan. It’s the type of thing they call in rural Oklahoma a “typical Saturday night.”

Via Business Insider:

It looks like the State Democrats just got bean feed punk’d…

Earlier today, several Ogle Moles sent me the following flyer that promotes a GOP Bean Feed featuring Governor Mary Fallin. The event is to take place Saturday, August 23rd at the Garvin County Fair Building.

Here’s the flyer:

GOPBeanFeed (1)

That’s pretty funny. Since Oklahoma Republicans are some of the most boring people on the planet and don’t have to worry about stinking up an after party, I can totally see them getting together to eat beans and talk about the NRA, Planned Parenthood and… Ku Klux Klan?

Yeah, once I read that bit in the final bullet point, my B.S. meter went into full alert. I know there are a bunch of racist, rural Republicans in our state, but usually they do a better job of hiding it. So, I emailed Alex Weintz, Mary Fallin’s Communications Director, and asked:

“Question: Is your boss speaking at a GOP Bean Feed on Saturday, August 23rd?”

The was his reply: “No.”

So, according to her office, Governor Mary Fallin will not be stuffing her face with pinto beans at the Garvin County GOP Bean Feed. Please don’t tell that to the Oklahoma Democratic Party. They took this apparent prank-bait hook, line and sinker, and issued this press release:

This teacher forgot to wear her pants…

lorihill

“Can someone get this lady some pants?”

That’s a sad phrase that probably echoed throughout the halls of a school in Wagoner on Monday after the teacher pictured above, Lorie Ann Hill, came to school intoxicated and bottomless.

From The Tulsa World:

Some drunk guy turned the Winchester Drive In into a demolition derby…

winchester

Unless you’re with a drunk naked chick, I really don’t see the fun and charm of going to the drive-in to watch a movie. I’ve attempted to watch movies on my phone in the car, and let me tell you, it’s kind of distracting… especially when you’re trying to merge on I-35 from I-240 while the Millennium Falcon is attempting to rush out of the Death Star.

Apparently, Oklahoma City man Curtis Russell shares my opinion on watching movies in cars, so he got drunk and turned the Winchester Drive In parking lot into his own personal demolition derby. It’s the most interesting thing to happen at an Oklahoma drive-in since the Admiral Twin burned down in Tulsa a few years ago.

Via NewsOK.com:

The New York Times still likes Oklahoma City…

rumble-trent-lawson

© Trent Lawson

Oklahoma City has received a strange collection of publicity over the past few days.

In addition to Seamus’ vitamin water fueled documentary that we covered earlier, The New York Times published a nice story about how people are voluntarily leaving the coasts to live in places like Oklahoma City, where the banking and home industry’s dream of you owning home is still attainable.

Via the New York Times: