Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick – Page 162

There sure are a lot of white people in those BC Clark commercials…

See that video up there? That’s the old animated BC Clark Anniversary Sale commercial. It’s the one you like. You know, the one you stop and watch whenever it comes on the air. The one that features the 1950s-style commercial jingle that you, your parents and grandparents all sing and know by heart.

Well, it seems like BC Clark is a Scrooge and doesn’t like that commercial. For many years now, they’ve all but ditched the original jingle for a series of “Anniversary Sale” commercials featuring random groups of people singing verses at the mall. The commercials are terrible. They don’t have any musical accompaniment and most of the people can’t sing. They’re about as enjoyable as a Jenni Carlson feature about fruit cake and candy canes.

The commercials also feature way too many white people. And by white people, I mean lots and lots and lots of boring plain white people. It’s like watching a Seinfeld episode inside an L.L. Bean catalog at the Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club. Seriously, check the commercials out. Count how many white people you see:

This graphic totally summarizes Oklahoma’s severe winter weather coverage hype machine…

As Marisa mentioned earlier today, the local weathermen are already hyping of a possibly white winter wonderland for Christmas Day. Of course, a white Christmas comes with some risk.

Here’s a screen shot of Mike Morgan’s weather forecast from last night:

The Westboro Baptist Church follows Mary Fallin on Twitter…

Because of their close proximity to Oklahoma, we get our fair share of Westboro Baptist Church “protests” here in the Sooner state. Since about 2009, our general policy at TLO has been to ignore the hate group. They do what they do for publicity and to create controversy, and by giving them the attention they crave and letting their actions upset you, you’re basically falling into their trap and letting them win. As Dave Morris’ hot wife would say, they’re a more hateful, sick and religious version of us.

Anyway, consider this post a one-time exception to our policy. Earlier this week, Westboro’s Twitter account was hijacked by the hacker group Anonymous. The hacktivists did things like post the personal information of Westboro members and link to a petition to have the church named a hate group. This heroic act by Anonymous alerted us to a couple of strange facts.

1. The Westboro Baptist Church (for some reason) has over 3,000 Twitter followers.

2. The Westboro Baptist Church follows 6 people on Twitter and (for some reason) one of them is Mary Fallin.

Here’s a screen shot:

Uhm, Lynn Hickey died last Friday

In honor of Ashton Edwards and Chase Thomason’s engagement, Spencer and I recently collaborated on a post that listed some other random OKC couples we’d like to see tie the knot. One of the duos that I came up with was the guy from The Key and The Ghost of Lynn Hickey. Here’s what I wrote:

Because that would be one hell of an amazing car buying experience.

You see, the Key brands itself as a low-pressure car buying environment where you can not only purchase a 2007 Malibu with 20%-interest, but also read self-help books and beat an old car with a sledge hammer. Lynn Hickey, on the other hand, was the owner of Lynn Hickey Dodge. His car dealership took the phrases “high pressure sales,” “publicity stunts,” and “Oh shit, it’s the IRS!” to new levels in the early 1990s.

My idea to match the two came out of nowhere. I was thinking it would be funny to list the guy from the Key with a random person or thing. For some reason, the Ghost of Lynn Hickey was the first thought that popped in my mind. The only problem, unbeknownst to me at the time, was that Lynn Hickey was still alive. Or at least he was. He passed away on December 14th, four days after we published the article.

Here’s his obituary:

Update: Once again, David Payne is moving to Channel 9…

Back in October, we broke the news that David Payne was leaving Channel 4 to become Lord England’s apprentice at Channel 9. Here’s what we wrote:

Yes, just one day after they signed Gary England to a new contract, we’re hearing rumbles through the Ogle Mole Network that KWTV News 9 has poached popular weatherman and stormchaser David Payne from the KFOR Channel 4 weather team.

News 9 is apparently making the move to combat stagnant ratings and help prepare for the day when Lord England retires to his Severe Weather Palace in Edmond. If this rumor is true, and we think it is, it will come just 14-months after KWTV signed longtime KFOR chopper pilot Jim Gardner to a lucrative contract.

According to one email we received, Payne informed his colleagues at Channel 4 of his decision to leave yesterday morning. Upon hearing the news, Mike Morgan’s severe weather tie burst into hot flames and he had to be doused with water. From the back of the room, Emily Sutton slowly stood and said “I’ll chase the storms now, Mr. Morgan. I’ll chase the storms.”

Payne will allegedly start at News 9 in January.

Okay, so we missed his start date by a couple of weeks. We can’t be perfect.

Anyway, Payne’s last day at Channel 4 was on Friday. According to Moles, he mentioned during his morning weather forecast something to the effect that it was his last day at Channel 4 and that he was moving to Channel 9. After that, he was escorted off the set and out of the building. That’s kind of a shady way to do things by both parties, but I don’t think anyone’s ever accused the television news industry of being a place filled with a lot of class.

Three more thoughts: