Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick – Page 164

Blake Shelton likes awful pizza…

blake-shelton-00-768

The only thing Oklahomans love more than greasy awful music is greasy awful food. Blake Shelton is bringing both to home with the launch of his new line of Pizza Hut BBQ pizzas. They come in three styles: Blake’s Smokehouse BBQ, Honey BBQ Chicken and Hawaiian BBQ. They also have a secret sauce you can ask for called “Fuck my life, I’m ordering a BBQ pizza at Pizza Hut.”

Seriously, BBQ pizza? That’s one of life’s great travesties. Just typing the words BBQ and Pizza makes me want the to throw up like a TV news anchor after a small meal.

From Amanda Taylor’s favorite website Country Weekly:

Some Miley Cyrus fans really dislike Wayne Coyne…

wayne coyne miley cyrus

In this week’s installment of our now weekly feature “We Told You So: The 2014 Fall of Wayne Coyne,” we’re going to take a look a Tinsel Dick’s (that’s New Wayne Coyne’s nickname) cover of “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” with Miley Cyrus at the 2014 Billboard Music Awards.

Yeah, that happened last night while you should have been watching Game of Thrones, Silicone Valley, Mad Men or just about anything else. The song was actually performed at an arena in England and streamed live to a horrified audience that had just witnessed a computer hologram of a child molester sing and dance.

Check it out:

Hey, that wasn’t too bad. In fact, it was kind of decent, which means Wayne Coyne probably didn’t have anything to do with it. It’s not like he performed Strawberry Fields Forever with Yoko Ono or anything. Then again, there have been about 432,000 covers of Beatles’ songs over the years and most of them aren’t “too bad.” That’s because it’s a fucking Beatles’ song. You have a better chance of improperly cooking a Hot Pocket than messing up something they wrote. Hell, Pink Pony could put out a Beatles’ cover album and it would be probably be decent. Just kidding. I’m taking things too far.

Of course, that’s just my opinion. The reviews online were pretty mixed. Some people enjoyed the performance, while others – most of them Miley Cyrus fans – hated it and want Wayne Coyne to die:

League of Champions Title Match Results…

mj immune system

On Saturday night, we concluded our first run at a trivia league with the $1,500 League of Champions Title Match at the 51st Street Speakeasy. Other than a drunk host, non-showing hosts and a sudden appearance be the blue screen of death on my 2008 Dell Computer, it went off without a hitch.

If a trivia league doesn’t make any sense, here’s where I attempt to explain it. You see, most bar trivia nights around the country simply award cash and prizes to the top three teams at the end of each match. We do that, too, but this year we added a league element where regular teams earn points based upon where they finished at each trivia night. After a three-month qualifying period, the 14 teams with the most points are invited to a big title match with a large jackpot. That’s what we had on Saturday night.

Before we get to the standings for this final match, a few things of note:

• We’re still hosting TLO Trivia Night four nights a week. If you’ve never played before, get some friends together and come out. It’s free to play and the worst possible scenario is that you’ll finish 4th and / or have fun with your friends.

• League of Champions 2.0 will start soon. We’ll likely simplify the scoring and make a few other changes to get more teams involved. Details to come.

Anyway, here are the standings. Thanks to all the teams and our trivia venues for the support and making this happen.

14th  –  23 points  –  Pistols Backfiring

13th  –  56 points  –  Larry Bird Doesn’t Need an Immune System

12th  –  68 points  –  Johnny Glasses

11th  –  74 points  –  Nerdy Girls

10th  –  106 points  –  Book Hockey

9th  –  107 points  –  3.45 Miles

8th  –  130 points  –  Hootie and the Blowjobs

7th  –  135 points –  Hodor

6th  –  136 points  –  All Knight Long

5th  –  139 points  –  Spencer Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzspencer: A Gay Irish Love Story

JohnGotti

4th  –  143  –  Bergin Hunt & Fish Club
Prize: 
$125

This team is a regular fixture at Buffalo Wild Wings on NW Expressway. They are a force to be reckoned with, especially on the rare occasion we make a mistake. They’re like the worst thing about every bad relationship ever in they are fast to point out how bad you suck. They’re like a living, breathing, version of every internet comment section, ever. – Joel

breaking-bad-image-2

3rd Place  –  148 –  Tread Lightly & Have an A1 Day
Prize: 
$250  

This team shows up a bunch at Local in Norman and Yucatan Taco Stand in Bricktown. They are ridiculously nice and managed to come in 3rd even without one of their team members, who is currently in Costa Rica, because that’s what awesome people do. The Breaking Bad reference is a winner as well. – Joel

god

2nd Place  –  151  –  Fearless Unitarians
Prize: 
$375

This team was playing with heavy heart and still finished in 2nd. They play every Tuesday at the 51st Speakeasy and once made Spencer pot brownies for his birthday. – Patrick

mj immune system

1st Place  –  175 points – Magic Johnson’s Immune System
Prize: 
$750

These guys are the Yankees of TLO Trivia Night, only without the tradition or high payroll. They take a lot of flack simply because they’re good. They play a bunch of trivia and take it seriously, so much so they had matching Magic Johnson T-Shirts printed up. Sure, I gave them the business end of the insult cannon that my mouth can be for those shirts, but they were pretty cool to have done that. – Joel

Thanks again to all our teams for competing and making the League of Champions a big success. Saturday night was by far the most competitive trivia match we had. Virtually every team that came out was within striking distance going into the Final Ogle question. More details on the next league will be released,too.

 

GOP Lobbyist Chad Alexander likes to snort cocaine…

chad alexander

Earlier this year, I considered posting a list of the 10 Most Powerful Lobbyists in Oklahoma. I abandoned the project because I’m lazy and it was more difficult to compile than I thought, but before doing so, I asked several Moles who work in and around Oklahoma politics to send me their Top 10. One name that kept on popping up was Republican lobbyist (and 2011 Oklahoma City Community College Hall of Fame inductee) Chad Alexander.

Here are some things they wrote:

– Former state GOP chairman at the age of 11, now a veteran lobbyist who understands how to make lawmakers and clients relate to the bigger picture.

– Power player. Connected. Ambitious. In T.W. Shannon’s corner.

– Hard partying coke head that probably hangs out with Wayne Coyne.

Okay, I just made up that last part, but it seems pretty accurate. Alexander was arrested Tuesday night after he was busted with cocaine and other pills during a traffic stop near the Cock-O-The-Walk. Via NewsOK.com:

Chad Alexander, a lobbyist and former chairman of the Oklahoma Republican Party, was arrested on drug complaints after a traffic stop in Oklahoma City in which police officers said they found cocaine and pills.

He was booked in the Oklahoma County jail after his arrest Tuesday evening and was released after posting $5,000 bail, sheriff’s officials said Thursday.

A police report indicates he was arrested on complaints of possession of 3.35 grams of cocaine and possession of a controlled substance without a prescription, nine pills that weren’t further described. His 2014 Mercedes-Benz was searched after he was pulled over at NW 36 and Western.

Calls to Alexander, 40, of Choctaw, for comment were not immediately returned.

He is a consultant for Coalition for Oklahoma’s Future, which raised large sums from corporations and individuals in 2012 to help Republican incumbents in the Oklahoma Legislature beat back tea party challengers.

Since he’s a tough on crime Republican, Alexander is obviously prepared to spend some hard time in one of our state’s finest private prisons for his heinous crime. Check out this sincere apology that he issued via the McCarville Report:

NewsOK.com was compromised…

hacker

It looks like the “state’s most trusted news” isn’t so trusted.

Mark Gower, the state’s Chief Security Officer, announced yesterday that his Cybercommand Unit was blocking access to NewsOK.com. If you noticed State employees being cheerful and productive yesterday, I guess that explains it.

Here’s an email that was forwarded to us via the Ogle Mole Network:

Good Morning,

Out of an abundance of caution the State of Oklahoma Cybercommand is actively blocking access to the NewsOk.com website.

We apologize for the impact but we believe this is a necessary step to provide the security required for the state.

We recommend all agencies that have abilities to impact website blocking to implement the same until a release is provide by the State CyberCommand.

Mark Gower, C|CISO, CISSP, CISM, CBCP
State of Oklahoma – Chief Security Officer
State of Oklahoma CyberCommand Director
Oklahoma Office of Management and Enterprise Services – Information Services Division

That’s interesting. I wonder why they blocked access? Were they tired of state employees being Carlsoned? Did Steve Lackmeyer’s OKC Central chats crash the system? Did too many people click on “13 Gifs of Kevin Durant playing with Puppies?”

No, it was actually something much worse. The Oklahoman tried to explain the situation with the following Facebook post: