Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick – Page 164

Breaking News: Emily Sutton has bangs

I did a little research, and that pic is the first ever photo we posted of Emily Sutton. It was from back when Emily was a young innocent nubile weathergirl looking to make her mark in the Big Town. My how things can change. Thanks to the tutelage of her (current?) roommate Joleen Chaney, she’s gone from the nerdy smart girl who you’d try to cheat off of in math class to the popular girl who gets personal late night tours of microbrews.

Being the hard-hitting journalists that we are, we’ve documented this metamorphosis with Woodward and Berstein-like precision and detail. We’ve documented her triathlon training, encounters with Fabio (and Gary England), odd weather dongs and Stormy. And we’ve done it all without having a restraining order filed against us.

Now, though, we have something newer and more desperate to report. Emily has bangs. From Twitter:

Mailbag: Oppressed with the Ogle boys

It’s been a fun week. I’ve had one of those colds / sinus infections / bronchitis / walking pneumonia / I May Die Soon chest and nasal congestion infections for about a week now. Damn it sucks. But I’m an American male with crappy private health insurance, so you won’t see me going to the doctor. I’ll just complain about it on my blog.

That being said, this week really was a good week! I think we had a good mix of content, plus I bought tickets to see JEFF MANGUM(!!!) play in Bricktown in January. If that name doesn’t ring a bell, he’s the person who’s behind Neutral Milk Hotel. If that band name doesn’t ring a bell, move along and continue listening to bad boring music. If you just yelled from the desk in your office “WHAT THE HELL, JEFF MANGUM IS PLAYING IN BRICKTOWN?!?” then we just bonded. Unfortunately, the show’s already sold out. I’m glad I have tickets.

This week’s mailbag is once again sponsored by our friend’s at Patricia’s. Picking a favorite advertiser is like choosing your favorite child, food or Thunder Girl, but I must say that I’m very proud to have an advertisement on our site that says “Wishing You a Happy a Sexy Thanksgiving.” That’s pretty much how I’m going to end every phone call or email for the next week.

Anyway, whoever sends us the best email will win a $25 Gift Card to Patricia’s. How do we determine the best email? You vote for it. Check them out after the jump:

Thou shalt not commit typos when engraving a granite 10 Commandments monument…

Earlier today, a 10 Commandments monument was unveiled on the northern grounds of the Oklahoma State Capitol. The monument was apparently installed to remind our lawmakers how archaic and bizarre Oklahoma legislation can truly be.

From what I’ve heard, the monument looks great…other than a couple of typos. English teacher Moses would not be proud.

From KOKH Fox 25:

A Ten Commandments monument unveiled at the state capitol Thursday comes with a mistake. The 6-foot-tall monument has the word “Sabbath” spelled “Sabbeth.”

However local pastors and online sources all show Sabbath spelled with an “a” and not an “e.”

The word “maidservant” also appears misspelled. The “v” appears to be a “u,” spelling the word “maidseruant.”

Fox 25 contacted State Representative Mike Ritze, who paid $10,000 for the monument. Rep. Ritze told us he saw prototypes before the monument was erected, but did not see the final version.

Rep. Ritz said Tulsa-based SI Memorials made the monument. Fox 25 tried calling the business, but it was already closed for the day.

Here’s a pic of the carnage that was posted to Twitter by KOSU’s Michael Cross:

The Oklahoma Gazette has lost all editorial standards…

Remember when the Oklahoma Gazette was a cool newspaper that covered local news and entertainment happenings that people cared about? You know, things like this.

Well, those days are apparently long gone. Just check out this week’s cover story:

Yep, the Oklahoma Gazette is now running feature articles on dwarves, gingers, and Bosley rejects. At least the headline’s accurate. That really is no laughing matter.

Seriously, what’s going on there? Are they profiling comedians, computer lab technicians or soon to be sexual predators? That makes me want to watch TwinProv and cry. The only thing that could make that photo any sadder is if Joel Decker was in the background performing stand-up.

Actually, I’m kidding about all that. Those are some good people. The guy in the center is our very own Spencer Hicks. You may be familiar with him. Even though he didn’t mention it in the Gazette article, he writes a column for The Lost Ogle every Tuesday that’s literally read by dozens of people. The bald guy is Bradchad Porter. No, that’s not one of my typos, his name really is Bradchad. I heard he goes by that just to throw off the girl who calls out the names at City Bites. The dude on the left is Gróin, son of Nimód of the cave people.

Anyway, go read about them and the good things they do for the OKC comedy scene over at the Gazette’s website. They really do bring some funny comedians to town. You should also check out one of their shows at the 51st Street Speakeasy. I’m not sure you’ll laugh, but you’ll feel like you’re supporting a good cause.

Also, people at the Gazette who take us too seriously, we still like you guys. Just make sure you never do anything like this:

Steven Tyler got Oklahoma City confused with Wichita…

I’ve watched one full season of American Idol. It was the one when Carrie Underwood beat the southern rocker dude in the finals. I suffered through it because I was married at the time and watching American Idol was one of things confused and conforming married men did to make life tolerable. Oh well, at least Carrie Underwood was hot.

I’ve also owned one Aerosmith CD. It was 1993′s Get a Grip. I bought the CD because I was 15 and really didn’t know what good music sounded like. Plus, I had a major crush on Alicia Silverstone, which has now been retroactively ruined thanks to the video of her chewing up food and spitting it into her kid’s mouth. Oh well, at least Liv Tyler became a hot elf.

Anyway, I’m telling you all this because Aerosmith performed in Oklahoma City last week and it just so happened that Ryan Seacrest and Randy Jackson were in town shooting some scenes for American Idol at the same time. This lead to the trio catching a Thunder game, Seacrest and Jackson singing Come Together at the Aerosmith Concert, and Steven Tyler creating silly mischief on the American Idol set.

Confused? Well, so is Steven Tyler. He thinks it all took place in Wichita, KS. From the Wichita-Eagle: