Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick – Page 164

Welcome to The Lost Ogle, Version 4.0

Hey there. Do things look a little different? I hope so, because if not, there’s something wrong with your computer, Chris.

Welcome to The Lost Ogle, Version 4.0! This is the 4th major redesign of the website in our 5+ years of being an “obscure local social blog.” Hard to believe, huh?

Anyway, here are some quick notes:

• First, and perhaps most importantly, the new design was handled and implemented by our friends at at iThemes. If you’re not familiar with them you should be. Their founder, Cory Miller, literally helped write the book WordPress for Dummies. And our lead designer, Ty Carlson, has a beard. That means I think I saw Ty about 800 times at Saturday’s Jeff Mangum concert. We’ll be doing more stuff with them in the future.

KFOR’s Chellie Mills called some lady a dildo (video)

We don’t write about Chellie Mills as often as we should. This is for several reasons:

1. She’s a morning anchor. That means she’s on TV while I’m sound asleep in bed dreaming about picking watermelons with Joleen Chaney.

2. Her name sounds like a brand of spicy corn flour you’d by at a Mexican supermarket (or Whole Foods)

3. She worked for Brady Brus when he owned KSBI. Making fun of someone who had Brady Brus as a boss is disrespectful. It would be like making fun of a war veteran, disabled child or someone who works for Vince Orza.

All that being said, some things just have to be written about. For example, when Chellie Mills calls some lady dildo during a cooking segment:

Shocking: Al Eschbach hangs out at Hooters by himself (photo)

Last night a high-ranking Ogle Mole texted me the following pic of Al Eschbach hanging out at Hooters by himself. If you had to sum up Al Eschbach in one picture, this would probably be it:

Hands on the table, sir. Both hands on the table.

So, quick admission. I’ve turned into the guy who likes to catch an occasional movie matinée by myself. I’ve been assured by several people that this activity isn’t too weird. I kind of enjoy it. The ticket cost less, and the theater is generally empty enough that don’t have to worry about crying babies or annoying teenagers ruining the film. Plus, you can check your phone without bothering anyone. As a “professional” blogger, that’s a bonus. Hell, I may go catch Zero Dark Thirty later today just for the hell of it.

That being said, I pray that being loner movie guy isn’t the first step towards becoming the old creepy guy who goes to places like Hooters and strip clubs by myself and talks to some slutty girl about my life problems and their “college studies.” Please please please don’t let it spiral to that point! Doing things like that are okay when you’re out-of-town on a business trip, but doing it in your hometown is as dirty and depressing as listening to Al Eschbach on the radio.

By the way, I made that mistake yesterday. It’s kind of sad how the guy just mails it in now. He used to be good in the 1980s. At least I think he was. That’s what my grandpa tells me. So I was driving home from Norman around 4pm and decided to listen to what they had to say about the Manti Te’o ordeal. It was terrible. After Jim and Al did their “which car dealership” are you at routine, Jim asked Al if he heard the big news. Al kind of played along and went into dated “jokes” about the girl’s name (Was it ‘Elvira’), where they met (Ever been to Singapore?), or something like that. You know the drill. Then Jim brought up Deadspin and you could tell Al really didn’t know what that was (Do they list dead people. Ever seen a dead midget?!). At that point I sighed and switched over to Lithium on XM. I think they were playing Kid Rock. Usually, hearing a Kid Rock song is the worst thing that can happen to you in a day, but at that moment, it was as clean, pure and refreshing as an Emily Sutton bubble bath surrounded by aroma therapy candles. By the way, I’m pretty sure Emily hates me now. You’re welcome, Moles.

Anyway, sorry about that depressing story and extremely long paragraph. If you have a funny caption for the photo, leave one in the comments. The best caption will win three of these:

Matt Kemp has a tattoo of his grandparents on his chest…

Yesterday, lost in all the Manti Te’o fake dead girlfriend hubbub, was this other report from DeadSpin. Former Midwest City High School standout turned L.A. Dodger All-Star turned Rihanna boyfriend Matt Kemp got a tattoo of his deceased grandparents sunk into his chest. And when I write “a tattoo of his deceased grandparents sunk into his chest,” I mean it.

Check it out:

Remember when Damon Lane claimed today could be 15 degrees below zero?

Two weeks ago, we called out KOCO Chief Meteorologist Damon Lane for hyping on the Channel 5 website that record cold temperatures “may” be making their way to Oklahoma City on January 17th.

In a post titled “January is About to Get Incredibly Cold,” Damon wrote:

The image above comes from the GFS model. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, this is a model that goes out 2 weeks, how accurate can it be? And I am with you on this one…

So, what is this image above telling me? This map shows the temperature departure from normal. The purple shading, which is over Oklahoma, means temperatures about 40 degrees below normal on January 17th at 6 a.m. Just for fun, if we did the math, this would mean that Oklahoma City that morning would have a morning low temperature of about 15 degrees below zero. That would almost be a record low for the city as the coldest temperature ever in OKC is -17.

Do I believe this? It’s tough to believe that exact number there although anything is possible.

Well, today is January 17th. Let’s put his dire (yet on the fence) prediction to the test and see how cold it’s going to be today. Remember, “anything is possible.”

From the KOCO website: