Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick – Page 164

Marcus Smart probably wants to push Pistols Guy…

marcus smart

Things are not going too well for OSU point guard Marcus Smart.

First he attacked a chair. Then he a pushed a fan. Now he’s trying to bully the team’s homer bloggers on Twitter.

In case you missed it, Marcus Smart called out OSU fan blogger Kyle Porter on Twitter last night. Kyle runs the OSU news blog PistolsFiring.com. Kyle’s a pretty big OSU homer. He’s not quite in Robert Allen or Tom Durato territory, but on a scale of 1 – 10, I’d say he’s a 8. He’s still biased, roots for the program and blames all his problems in life on Thayer Evans, but it doesn’t stop him from criticizing the athletic department. Plus, Kyle will send you a thank-you note if you meet up with him for happy hour.

Anyway, while the Cowboys were blowing a winnable game against an equally under achieving Baylor squad, Smart sent a few tweets Pistol Guys way. Of course, Smart had time to do this because he was serving the final part of a three-game suspension for punching that asshole Texas Tech super fan.

Here are the tweets:

Apparently we’re a pretty big deal in Enid

erin enid homestown hottie

The girl pictured above is Erin from Enid. She was a Maxim Hometown Hottie in 2013. After googling “Enid” for pics, I learned the town is home to several attractive women. Who knew?!

Now that I have your attention, the Enid News and Eagle published an editorial about Gary James. He’s that racist, homophobic, restaurant owner from Enid who’s been in the news.

From the editorial, we learned a couple of things about Enid.

1. They’re ashamed and embarrassed by James’s classic 1950s southern values.

2. They’re pretty big fans of The Lost Ogle.

Here’s the editorial:

Emily Sutton’s serious boyfriend is now just rubbing it in…

emily sutton's serious boyfriend

Happy Valentine’s Day. I guess.

Earlier this morning, Emily Sutton’s Serious Boyfriend surprised his weather princess with a dozen roses and a mystery love bag on live TV. It was the most awkward / depressing local TV moment since Gary England was stumped by the giant iPad.

Check it out:

This News 9 story about women’s self defense classes is unintentionally funny…


Last night, News 9’s Adrianna Iwasinski took a break from being a low-level reality TV star to file a special report on self-defense classes being taught in Norman. It may be the most unintentionally funny report News 9 has aired since the Dollar General store manager beat a thief over the head with an aluminum baseball bat.

The News 9 transcript helps set everything up:

Every year, hundreds of women in Oklahoma are hurt by strangers or even by someone they know or love. Some of these women are even killed in those violent attacks.

But now a local police officer down in Norman is teaching women how to fight back. The course he teaches is called “My Body, My Life” and is taught once a month at Norman Regional Hospital. The purpose of the class is to teach women how to empower themselves. It turns out their voice may be their greatest weapon.

The women who take the course can be seen screaming and flailing, but they are not throwing a tantrum. They are actually learning what to do should someone try to attack them or kidnap them in a public place. It’s called the flop, and it could just save your life…

Real quick, is the mansplaining of violence against women really necessary? Obviously, the first thing that comes to mind when I see a woman screaming and flailing on the ground while attempting to kick an attacker is that she’s throwing a “tantrum.” She probably just missed her soaps, broke a nail or didn’t get to pick out her movie on Netflix.

Anyway, the demeaning nature of the transcript is overshadowed by the sights and sounds of the video. It’s unintentionally hysterical. Instead of using “tantrum,” Adrianna could have gone with “exorcism,” “bad trip,” “mental hospital,” “nervous breakdown,” “meth,” “primal scream therapy,” “Serge Ibaka nude” and/or “lady who made that strange sound at old OKC Hornets games when other teams shot free throws.”

Check it out:

Love’s is trying to attach its name to Valentine’s Day…

loves country store

I guess sponsoring shitty Thunder seats wasn’t enough for them. Now the folks at Love’s are trying to put their name on bad holidays, too.

Earlier this week, Love’s Travel Stops (I assume) issued a self-congratulatory press release announcing that Governor Fallin and Mayor Cornett have partnered up to declare February 14th “Love’s Day.” Ironically enough, that’s what’s the prostitutes who hang out at Love’s have been calling Valentine’s Day for years.

One Oklahoma City TV station was desperate enough to take the PR bait.