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TLO Restaurant Review: Cheever’s Café

CHEEVERS 1

Cheever’s has always been one of those upscale eateries that I have always managed to talk ex-girlfriends out of choosing as a Sunday lunch-spot, oftentimes through a mixture of white guilt and gaslighting.

No offense, but it just ain’t my thing, babe.

That being said, I have happily spent the past 37 years of my life relatively Cheever-less until, caught up in this current whirlwind of chicken fried steak madness here at the TLO office, it was made clear to me by editor Patrick, as well as a numerous cadre of seasoned commenters, that the upscale bistro is their number one choice to devour the Southern-based victuals.

And don’t forget that jalapeno gravy, they would all add in unison.

Beaten down and defeated, I decided it was finally time to give in to the peer pressure and see if their chicken fried steak really was all that, using binaural subliminal message tapes to create an open mind for me while I slept. Accompanied by a pair of close pals, we made the trek to the former Wig District, where the old school structure stands out amongst the urban wreckage, human and otherwise.

Well, I guess we have a new excuse to avoid N. May Ave.

may ave bridge

In case you just happened to be crushed by slabs of heavy concrete while driving down the road to buy groceries at Buy For Less, we should probably inform you that the May Ave. bridge over Northwest Expressway collapsed yesterday when a tank being driven by Mary Fallin crashed into the structure.

Okay, Mary Fallin didn’t knock down the bridge with a tank. God did when he heard about our state’s newest anti-abortion bill. Remember that the next time you need to go to the Target on N. May to protest who uses their bathrooms.

I only live about six blocks from the bridge, and probably drive over it, under it and around it six to eight times a day. In fact, I’m pretty sure I heard it fall down. Because we live in Oklahoma, I assumed it was just a tornado, earthquake or that my neighbor’s donkey had escaped from his pen and was scratching his back on garage.

Speaking of asses, the bridge collapse woke up the local Oklahoma City media. They converged on the scene like Jim Traber does when Mazzio’s puts a fresh pepperoni on the pizza buffet. Overall, I think Channel 25 had the best coverage. According to them, we all better watch our asses:

kokh asses damage tomorrow

Yeah, that’s obviously a typo. It’s supposed to be “Asses Damaged Tomorrow.” Actually, that doesn’t make sense either. I thought the bridge where the ass damage occurs was the overpass at I-44 and Penn. Now I’m confused.

Because sometimes the only thing you can do is laugh at how absurd life has become in this state, the bridge collapse got the Internet Photoshop Meme treatment. Check these pics out:

Christina Fallin Is Getting Into The 100% Legitimate International In-Flight Online Tribal Casino Gaming Business…

christina fallin poker

It looks like Hipster Boo Boo has recovered from her failed janitorial career!

In between her busy schedule as a private event planner, art curator, permanent makeup artist, professional traveler, band keyboardist, and “Development Associate” for the Boathouse District, Christina Fallin has found time to partner with a virtually unknown Native American tribe and a shady Orlando nightclub owner who’s been accused of “deceptive business practices” to bring online Oklahoma tribal casino poker to international airline flights.

Sounds great and totally legitimate, huh?

The Oklahoman’s Brianna Bailey has some of the details:

Justin Bieber, a Florida tech entrepreneur who once owned a nightclub with Paris Hilton, and Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin’s daughter Christina Fallin are all involved in launching what could be the world’s first in-flight gambling website from the Iowa Tribe of Oklahoma’s headquarters near Perkins.

“I see this software to being the key for securing the future for many generations,” said Chairman Bobby Walkup of the Iowa Tribe. “It is a market that is untouched.”

The Iowa Tribe, which has about 800 enrolled members, has struck a deal with the Florida company Universal Entertainment Group to retain 51 percent of the revenue from Pokertribe.com, according to a regulatory filing. The Pokertribe servers will be located on tribal land.

Fred Khalilian, a Florida tech entrepreneur is the major consultant to Pokertribe.com and Universal Entertainment Group. Khalilian’s past includes running a Paris Hilton-themed nightclub in Orlando that provided endless fodder for TMZ a decade ago.

Khalilian also operated two companies that were the subject of lawsuits from Federal Trade Commission for deceptive business practices. The Federal Trade Commission permanently banned Khalilian from telemarketing in 2010 over his role in an extended car warranty robocalling scheme.

Walkup is not fazed by Khalilian’s past.

“This software has never committed a crime, and that’s what we’ve found in our due diligence,” he said.

Yeah, who cares that the guy behind all this has been accused of deceptive business practices and banned from telemarketing due to robocalling, the software has never committed a crime… yet.

Okay, that was mean. I’ve talked with former State Senator Rick Brinkley, David Stanley, Ryan Tate, the lady behind the Real Housewives of Oklahoma City and Vince from Shamwow, and all of them think this is an awesome idea that’s going to make a ton of money! There’s no tomfoolery here! Christina Fallin won’t associate with just anyone. It’s 100% legitimate. Hell, just check out the PokerTribe.com website. Its state-of-the-art design screams classy like a trailer parked in front of a mansion.

According to some totally accurate, non-sensationalized statements, the people behind the international in-flight online tribal casino racket thinks this business venture could generate $808 million in annual revenue:

World Poker Fund Holdings Inc., a California-based social gaming company that trades its stock on the over-the counter market, estimated Tuesday that Pokertribe.com could generate as much as $808 million in annual revenue. World Poker Fund announced Tuesday that it had acquired a 49 percent stake in Universal Entertainment Group, the Florida company that is launching Pokertribe.com with the Iowa Tribe.

According to regulatory filings, major shareholders in World Poker Fund include Justin Bieber, former boxer Floyd Mayweather, and the rappers Soljaboy and Tyga.

Matthew Bird, a spokesman for World Poker Fund, said the company believes Pokertribe.com will be able to offer gambling to passengers on commercial airline flights with the help of the Iowa Tribe’s status as a federally recognized Indian tribe. The platform could reap millions in tax revenue for the state, Bird said.

“Ultimately, the people of Oklahoma are going to benefit from this,” Bird said. “It’s unprecedented. It’s never been done before.”

Wow. $808 million in annual revenue?! That may sound a bit ambitious, especially when you read this article about the future of tribal casinos and online poker, but oh well, you know what they say – if it sounds too good to be true, everything is probably fine and you should move forward with it.

Brianna mentioned that Khalilian was the subject of a couple of investigations for deceptive business practices. That all had to be a big misunderstanding, right? Obviously Christina Fallin would never work with someone who has a shady past:

Man finds human skull while fishing. Takes it home and calls Channel 4.

channel 4 skull

I think the headline says it all on this one.

Earlier this week, the man pictured above stumbled across a skull while fishing in a river. Naturally, he did what any other rational Oklahoman would do. He called KFOR Channel 4 and told them about it.

A Wewoka man and his children made a shocking find Sunday – a human skull.

Rudy Nunez was with a friend and two of his children fishing along the North Canadian River north of Earlsboro when Nunez’s son brought him something.

Nunez said the little boy thought he had found a turtle shell.

“When I picked it up, I noticed it wasn’t no turtle shell,” Nunez said.

He said he didn’t know what to think.

“I kind of got spooked out, because I was like it’s a human skull, you know, it’s a person,” Nunez said.

He decided to take the skull with him, planning to turn it over to the sheriff.

“I was going to stop by the sheriff’s but, at the same time, my son had jumped in the water, and they were hungry, so I was like, okay, we’ll go home, and I’ll just do it in the morning,” Nunez said.

He said his wife was immediately concerned…

Nunez contacted NewsChannel 4.

You find a skull while fishing and then take it home with you and call the news? That’s perhaps the most Oklahoma thing of all time. How much weed were they smoking down there!? I’m just asking, not judging.

Being the servants of public interest, KFOR provided some advice on what to do if you stumble across a human skull:

EMSA is now giving Kevin Durant an “Everyday Hero” medal. Seriously.

kd facepalm

On Monday, we mentioned how the Oklahoma City media decided to label Kevin Durant as a hero because he “cleared traffic” for an ambulance by following it through a traffic jam. They did this despite Kevin Durant admitting that he wasn’t a hero and was simply trying to save time and bypass traffic.

Here’s what we had to say about the ridiculousness:

[Kevin Durant] can do no wrong. He could get caught reusing his plate at Golden Corral and the media would praise him for helping save the environment. Seriously, I wonder what’s next? Kevin Durant being lauded for slowing down in a school zone or waving someone through a four-way stop. It wouldn’t surprise me.

Well, I guess we now know “what’s next.” According to KFOR, EMSA is giving Kevin Durant a hero medal.

Kevin Durant being honored with ‘Everyday Hero’ medal for helping local paramedics

An Oklahoma City Thunder star’s quick-thinking along the Broadway Extension is being honored by a group of paramedics.

Recently, EMSA paramedic Peter Radford and two coworkers were heading to a life-threatening emergency call in Edmond, but they faced one big problem- traffic along I-235.

“Traffic was just crazy, it was 5:30 p.m.; almost unable to move,” Radford told NewsChannel 4. “Then I see this little silver sports car come sliding in behind us.”…

Radford says it was one of the ‘coolest things he’s ever seen.’

Even though Durant says he didn’t do anything special, EMSA officials are honoring his actions.

EMSA created an ‘Everyday Hero’ medal, which will be engraved with his name.

I know I’m a cynical little smartass, but even the people who read Hello Giggles and drink morning wine with Kathy Lee and Hoda have to be rolling their eyes at this one. Seriously, they’re giving a “hero medal” to a grown man who tailgated an ambulance through congested traffic? That’s absurd, especially when you compare it to the acts (and ages) of other recent EMSA “Everyday Hero” medal winners.

Check this out: