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2014 Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest Semi-Finals (Part 2)

beauty and the corn dog

Yesterday, we took a look at the first nine semi-finalists from our 2014 Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest. If you missed them, check them out and vote for your favorite by clicking here.

Today we’re releasing the other nine semi-finalist photos. You can vote for your three favorite pic. The three that get the most votes will make next week’s finals.

And just to be safe, here’s our disclaimer:

If you stumbled across this link on your niece’s Facebook page and are easily offended and politically correct, I should warn you that The Lost Ogle is an irreverent satirical news and entertainment website. It’s not for everyone, especially if you’re nice, kind-hearted and only have nice things to say about people. We started this contest seven years ago as an absurd alternative to other State Fair Photo contests. If you take everything way too seriously, and poking fun at our state’s fine people and Walmart culture bothers you, stop reading now and head over to The Pioneer Woman. Like our state fair photo contest, most of that site’s content is also depressing. It’s just nicer.

With that out-of-the-way, enjoy some photos:

b_2014 OK State Fair Photo Contest 7

Time Machine Mullets

When you first look at this photo, the obvious and easy assumption to make is that this couple owns a time machine and just came back from 1989, but if that’s the case, why are they not wearing stone washed jeans??? Did they also stop by a 2004 TJ Maxx and buy new clothes?

Regardless, that’s some miraculous hair. It makes me want to watch Joe Dirt and kiss my cousin. I bet it even makes Mike Gundy jealous. If a Poison or Warrant song isn’t playing right now in your head, there’s something wrong with you.

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b_2014 OK State Fair Photo Contest 16

The Shockers…

Boy, that brings back some memories. What man can’t forget that awkward time when your dad sat you down, told you about the shocker, gave you a matching shocker t-shirt, and then took you to the state fair?

In all honesty, I doubt that’s a father and son. It’s probably just a pair of grown men walking through the state fair… holding hands… wearing ride bracelets… and sporting matching shocker t-shirts. Now I kind of wish it was a father and son.

p.s. – Kudos to the guy on the left for having the world’s scariest arm tattoo. I think it eats your soul.

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2014 Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest: Semi-Finals (Part 1)

bench warmers state fair photo contest

Welcome to the semi-finals of our 2014 Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest. It’s the annual event where we put aside our differences, bond as one, and mercilessly make fun of deep-fried fair freaks in order to get a cheap laugh and feel better about our own sad, pathetic, totally normal, socially acceptable lives.

This year, we received only 150 or so entries, and a couple of the them are all-timers. Before we get to the photos, lets review the three things you need to know…

1. How the contest works. After spending days reviewing and debating the merits of each pic, the TLO selection committee chose 18 photos as semi-finalists. Those 18 photos are divided into two groups. 9 go up today, and 9 more will be posted tomorrow. You can vote for up to three photographs in each group. The three pics in each group that get the most votes will advance to next week’s finals.

2. What people win. Whoever submitted the winning photo will win a $250 feast to Picasso Cafe in the Paseo. We like the Paseo because it’s one of the few spots in OKC that can rival the people-watching experiences of the Oklahoma State Fair.

3. Snark Disclaimer. Once again, if you stumbled across this link on your niece’s Facebook page and are easily offended and politically correct, I should warn you that The Lost Ogle is an irreverent satirical news and entertainment website. It’s not for everyone, and should not be taken seriously if you’re nice, kind-hearted and only have nice things to say about people. We started this contest seven years ago as an absurd alternative to other State Fair Photo contests. If you take everything way too seriously, and poking fun at our state’s fine people and Walmart culture bothers you, stop reading now and head over to The Pioneer Woman. Like our state fair photo contest, most of that site’s content is also depressing. It’s just nicer.

With that being said, here are the first 9 semi-finalists. Check them out and vote for your three favorite after the jump. You can view the other 9 semi-finalists by clicking here.

a_2014 OK State Fair Photo Contest 23

The Sniper

It’s always good to see a young Chuck Norris enjoying his first Oklahoma State Fair. I bet he was there with his youth militia group. I wonder what he’s shooting at? I hope it’s either a clown, carnie or terrorist. Those things are scary.

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a_2014 OK State Fair Photo Contest 20

Shredder

Fashion statements like this happen every day at Crossroads Mall, so it’s not that weird, but still, did she just make out with Edward Scissorhands? Zing! I doubt it. She was probably in the process of ripping off her shirt like Hulk Hogan, but ran out of breath and had to stop because her bra was cutting off her circulation.

OU / Texas Weekend: Then vs. Now

OUTexas

You see that photo above? That was me and my friends being idiot college kids at OU/Texas seven years ago. I was but a wee freshman, and this was my first trip to the Red River Rivalry free from the watchful eye of attending with my parents. Notice how we’re all posing for this drunken picture in a shower at the Sheraton hotel, with our solo cups and silly hand signs and crimson attire. I can pretty much guarantee Soulja Boy or Eli Young was playing in the background from an iPod playlist or mixed CD that someone made special for this very occasion.

Things have changed a lot since then. Nowadays, my idea of a big night usually means take-out from P.F. Changs and an OnDemand movie. No one warned me about the rapid rate you age in the years between 23 and 25. While I hung tough my first post-grad year and again experienced the OU/Texas I had come to love, two years after I felt out-of-place and adrift on McKinney Street, and last year I cut my losses and cried into my chili watched the game with friends in my backyard.

I thought it’d be both fun and depressing to do a little retrospective analysis and map out what my OU/Texas weekend looked like in college vs. what is probably going to go down this weekend. Here goes.

Friday, 10:00 am

Then: Roll over in bed and fumble around for a glass of water and some Advil. Damnit, why did I drink that extra LIT last night at Suger’s?

Now:  Spreadsheet. I’m spreadsheeting. Hehe, spreadsheet–wonder if Cosmopolitan has created a position called “The Spreadsheet” yet. 

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Friday, 10:07 am

Then: Spring out of bed and get dressed. God, I feel wonderful! If I hurry up and eat lunch, I’ll have enough time to run 3-4 miles, shower, and pack before we leave for Dallas!

Now: Nothing interesting on Cosmo’s website. Wonder if it’s someone’s birthday today? Mosey to the breakroom in hopes of finding a cookie cake.

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Friday, noon

Then: Pick up friends then head to Classic’s. Southbound roadtrips should always start with a Sprittle or an Eskimo Frosty.

Now: Spreadsheets. Maybe I should make a grocery list on a spreadsheet. Bread, rotisserie chicken, humus, apples…

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Friday, 2:00 pm

Then: ROCK ME MAMA LIKE A WAGON WHEEL–OMG look, a car full of Lambdas!

Now: Face wash. I need to add face wash to my grocery list.

The Mary Failin’ T-Shirt Guy is suing Connie Johnson…

mary fallin rico smith funny

On Friday morning, we received a somewhat cryptic, anonymous email from the Ogle Mole Network claiming they had audio of Mary Failin’ T-shirt wearer and Oklahoma Internet star Rico Smith “threatening to sue Connie Johnson.” The email, which appeared to come from the Johnson camp, also included a few accusations that I don’t feel comfortable publicizing on here.

After a brief email exchange, the Mole sent me the audio and sure enough, there was some dude rambling on about he was going to go sue Connie Johnson and go to the media to expose some of her wrongdoings. I had no clue if it was Rico or not, but the voice seemed to match his photo. Since I was getting all this on Friday and really like to get drunk on the weekends, I figured I’d look into everything on Monday, or better yet, wait until the legitimate media reported it.

Well, my laziness and alcoholism paid off. Word of Rico’s lawsuit apparently trickled up to The Oklahoman, and on Sunday, one of their most loyal hatchet men, Rick Green, jumped at the chance to write a critical article about an Oklahoma Democrat running for office.

Via NewsOK.com:

U.S. Senate candidate Connie Johnson has paid her daughter nearly $7,000 from campaign funds while allegedly stiffing a University of Oklahoma student who claims he is owed more than $1,319 for work on her campaign.

Rico Smith, 22, of Moore, alleges in his complaint filed Sept. 25 in Oklahoma County District Court that she failed to pay him $1,319 for work he did with her campaign over the summer.

He describes the debt on his small claims action as “breach of contract/failure to pay.” Smith declined comment on the pending litigation.

Johnson, a Democratic state senator from Oklahoma City, said there have been many changes on her campaign staff.

“We changed staff a couple of times,” she said. “They are young and highly mobile. Many of them have gone on to better jobs.”

In terms of pay disagreements, Johnson said this may have arisen with people who were in voluntary roles. She declined to return multiple calls for further comment.

Her latest campaign spending reports filed with the Federal Election Commission show $74,300 in contributions and $66,838 in expenditures. She is a decided underdog in the campaign to fill the U.S. Senate seat of Tom Coburn, R-Muskogee, who is stepping down two years early because of health concerns. She is facing Rep. James Lankford, R-Oklahoma City, who has raised and spent more than $2 million.

Johnson’s reports show a $250 expenditure to Smith on July 10 for “contract labor.”

Johnson’s reports also show $6,784 in expenditures to her daughter, Annasthaeyzsia Adrienne Samuel, 26, of Oklahoma City. No other staff member is paid nearly as much. The payments are generally described as “payroll expense” and “consulting services.”

Johnson said her daughter is a graphic design graduate of Oklahoma State University. She said her daughter performed graphic design and consulting, saying she had produced a “good-looking logo.” Samuel did not return telephone calls for comment.

Johnson, who has been in office nine years, is considered one of the most liberal Democrats in the state Legislature. She is backing a recreational marijuana initiative, for which signatures are being gathered. The initiative campaign got off to a slow start after the Oklahoma attorney general’s office found the ballot title insufficient and had to rewrite it.

I don’t really fault The Oklahoman for this hit piece. I guess we should know when a former staffer / volunteer sues a US Senate candidate for back pay, especially when the candidate pays her daughter $6,500 to design a logo. But if you’re looking to show someone how The Oklahoman’s political bias impacts and directs their reporting, this article is the perfect example.

For one, it would never had been published if a staffer had sued James Lankford or Jim Inhofe or anyone else The Oklahoman supports. Ask Ed Shadid, they are always out to protect their political allies and go after their perceived enemies.

And two, they totally ignored the 6′ 4″ elephant in the room. The didn’t mention anywhere that Rico Smith, the guy at the center of the lawsuit, is a local Internet celebrity basking in 15 minutes of fame after taking one super funny picture with Mary Fallin. So far, Rico’s pic has been the signature moment of the 2014 Oklahoma Gubernatorial campaign. It went viral on Facebook – our write-up alone reached 70,000 people – and even got the mainstream treatment by KOCO Channel 5 and the Tulsa World.

But The Oklahoman, a.k.a. “The State’s Most Trusted News,” is living in a lala land where the photo doesn’t exist. They haven’t mentioned it at all. That’s not necessarily a bad thing – I think we all kind of wish the local news would stick with covering real news – but it totally contradicts the paper’s new media, Buzfeedification mission statement that gets off on plastering all sorts of pointless crap and clickbait on its website each day.

Stuff like this…

Derplahomans are upset with marriage equality…

Yesterday morning, the Supreme Court refused to take on the case of two Tulsa women who challenged Oklahoma’s gay marriage ban, effectively legalizing same-sex marriage in Oklahoma. The first same-sex marriage licenses were issued Monday, and somehow the world is still standing. It’s kind of crazy — what seemed completely impossible just ten years ago became something that was so inevitable that when it really happened yesterday it almost seemed understated: NewsOK actually ran the news below a story about Durant’s water supply.

While most of us were some combination of elated and relieved for our gay brothers and sisters, and excited to be watching history unfold, there were some who weren’t so happy. You know the kind. Yes, the Derplahomans took to the internet comments section to do what they do best: make really cogent and persuasive arguments against same-sex marriage. A roundup of them follows. I hope you have a shower nearby.

A lot of people expressed a common theme:

derplahoman guest

derplahoman rick

derplahoman martin

derplahoman chad

derplahoman joe

derplahoman don

OK, clearly none of these people has even a basic understanding of the concept of consent, but beyond that it’s always kind of amazing how many people suddenly express an interest in marrying their pets whenever this subject comes up.

Others went right for the hellfire and brimstone: