So a lot has happened this week.  The state capitol shut down because the heat caused the pipes to burst, or something like that.  I’m not really sure because I’m not a plumber.  If I were, I’d be worried about the evil Bowser stealing my girlfriend.  Owling has now surpassed planking as the dumbest thing that college kids are doing in their spare time.  And apparently the NFL lockout might end.  So yeah.  All things to be thankful for, or if not thankful, at least aware of.

Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

July 22-24:  The Rumored Wedding Reception of Christina Fallin and Matt Bacon

Word on the street is the Fallin girl and her new hubby are having their Oklahoma wedding reception this weekend.  Now, I was in no way invited to this shindig, though The Lost Ogle did offer to exclusively cover the event as if it were the royal wedding.  But because Mary Fallin already spent $13,260 of state money on bringing her security team with her to Ireland, there wasn’t enough money to pay our blogger salaries.

Let me give you readers a rundown of how I think this scene will play out:  Christina Fallin will run around looking like Gwen Stefani, and the majority of the decorations will be exactly like that one Alice in Wonderland-themed video she has for that one song that’s incredibly forgettable.  Matt’s friends will be exchanging pills behind the punchbowl, and if it’s like any of the weddings I’ve been to in the past couple of years, there will probably be some smoking of illegal substances in the parking lot.  The evening will end when Christina is caught canoodling with a state trooper.

Hey there, sleepy readers.  How was the Harry Potter premiere last night?  Was it everything you hoped it would be?  Was it worth the sweaty costume you had to make?  No?  Sorry then.

For thos of you who don’t plan to spend this Friday in a post-Potter/workday coma, I’ve made a list of things for you to do this weekend.  It’s just a little something I do here at the Lost Ogle.  Maybe you’ve noticed.  No?  Screw you.

Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

July 15-17:  Annie Get Your Gun at the Mitch Park Amphitheater

Mitch Park holds a special place in my heart.  I used to play softball there back in the day, and I remember seeing a girl pass out from heat stroke one lovely September day.  They didn’t cancel the tournament though, but they did give us all a free bottle of water.  So it balanced out.

When was the last time you sat in the summer heat to watch an intolerable musical?  Never?  I guess it doesn’t really sound that fantastic.  So if you do happen to attend this production, say hi to my mom.  No, she won’t be at the performance.  But she will be traversing the walking trail at Mitch Park because she is a hardcore athlete and she has gotta get her walk on.  She’s the lady with brown hair and is probably embarrassed by everything I’ve ever said on this blog.  So you’ll know her by the general air of shame that has fallen upon her countenance.  That’s my mom!

It is literally too hot to do anything this weekend.  If you readers recognize this fact, don’t feel obligated to read any further.  But if you need to get your mind off of the Casey Anthony trial because it’s become your all consuming obsession, so much so that you’ve signed that Durant woman’s Change.org petition several times to insure that this never happens again, maybe it’s time to get away from the television.  Seriously, leave your house and interact with humans.  Listening to Nancy Grace for that long will rot your brain.

July 8-9:  Battle in the Saddle

Well, readers, if you feel you need to smell that musky smell of horse in the heat, may I suggest you venture to the fair grounds to see Battle in the Saddle?  I may be a bad Oklahoman in that I’ve never been to a rodeo.  I do own some cowboy boots though, and I enjoy wearing them on occasion.  Perhaps that’s why this little shindig doesn’t really appeal to me.

But if you’re a fan of barrel racing and roping and battling in saddles, perhaps you can go watch a redneck engage in traditional redneck activities.  There’s even a tradeshow, so you can get one of those purses with cow spots on it.  I also imagine the parking lot will be full of extended cab long bed trucks, all parked diagonally and taking up two spots, because that’s a God-given right of truck owners.  So you may want to get there early to find your own two spots.

Well, readers, it’s Friday, and as you might of guessed, last night I got proper Thursday night drunk.  And you know that means margaritas.  It was fun at the time, but a hangover that also includes heartburn from all that lime juice is pretty brutal.  So, bear with me.

Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

July 1-2:  McLoud Blackberry Festival

Alright readers, here’s some important information.  I have a list of favorite berries.  It’s not long.  After the fourth berry, I stopped counting because I felt that having more than four favorite berries was silly.  So here they are in order:  1.  Raspberries.  2.  Blackberries.  3.  Snozberries.  4.  Strawberries.  Any questions?  No?  Good.

Apparently, at one point in time, blackberries were an important part of McLoud’s economy.  That’s probably one of the cutest things I’ve ever heard.  It makes me imagine a city full of munchkins that harvest berries and sing songs in the fields all day.  And then at night, it’s like all those scenes from The Lord of the Rings where the hobbits are drinking in their hobbit pubs.  But watch out, McLoud!  Gargamel is coming for you with his cat.  He’s going to destroy your city of mushroom houses.  Oh no!  I guess that’s what happened and why McLoud is now populated by humans that commemorate the memory of the blackberry picking munchkins with a little festival once a year.

What’s up, readers?  Remember that movie Baseketball?  I totally watched that last night.  It’s just as ridiculous as you remember it being, but I was still laughing.  The 90’s were pretty sweet, dude.  Makes me miss things like Jerry Springer, baggy pants and listening to my middle school teachers trying to explain blow jobs when people would ask about what was going on with Bill Clinton.

Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

June 24-26:  Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus

I have to say readers, the circus is a lost art.  How many contortionists and acrobats do you know?  And don’t even get me started on the dropout rates at clown colleges.  Let’s face it.  Kids these days just don’t want to go sit in a big old tent and watch weird people do tricks.  And I have to say, that I wasn’t that big into the circus when I was a kid.  Also, my least favorite casino in Las Vegas is Circus Circus, not because of their super creepy clown sign that’s about a million feet tall, but because it’s full of people that bought into the notion that Las Vegas is a great destination for a family vacation.  Because a place where you have to be 21 to functionally do anything besides ride the roller coaster at New York-New York is a great family place.

Anyway, I don’t know why you would go to the circus.  Every time I think about it I can’t stop thinking about that movie, Freaks. And you know at some point the side show at Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey is gonna rise up and turn someone into a chicken person while chanting “gooble gobble gooble gobble one of us one of us.”  Seriously, it’s bound to happen.  I saw it in a movie once.