Hello everyone. It’s Adam. 2014 has already gotten off to quite the start by taking the life of “Uncle Phil” from “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.” Thanks 2014, I already think you’re a jerk.
But I’m only one person and judgment of the young year is in the eye of the beholder. Fast food restaurants in Colorado can’t contain their excitement due to a newly legal demographic. Sooner fans are celebrating their biggest win in quite awhile. This has led me to my first New Years resolution.
At some point this year I’m going to have a two-week period that is going to be completely awesome. I have no idea what this will be comprised of, but all I know is that I’m going to be on a roll. It might involve me figuring out how to use chopsticks. I may dunk a basketball. Hell, I might catch a bullet in mid-air.
All I know is that it will be the “Fortnight of Adam.” You are warned.
Here’s stuff to do!
Red City Radio, Saturday 9 pm, The Conservatory, 8911 N. Western, $10
A favorite of Marisa and Patrick, Red City Radio will be playing this Saturday at The Conservatory. They’re loud and proud which is usually a prerequisite for The Conservatory.
The Oklahoma punk quartet is offering ear damage for the low price of 10 American dollars. Usually that service runs twice that rate, even with a Groupon.
Here’s a song of theirs. It’s loud.
[Editor’s note: Adam, if it’s too loud, then you’re too old. Or, you could probably just adjust the volume on your speakers. -Marisa]
[Adam’s note: Marisa, I’m a rock musician who pounds the drums with the force of a rabid panda. Also, 33 is the new 20.]
Hello everyone, it’s Adam and welcome to another award-winning column.* I’m currently east of the state border in the Natural State for holiday festivities. Don’t worry, I’m still concerned for you and your entertainment needs back in the state capital of Oklahoma. You see, I know people. They tell me what’s going on in the seedy and un-seedy parts of OKC.
Kidding, I barely even have friends. I do hang out with this guy who works produce overnight at a Wal-Mart. His name is Rodney, but he prefers “Jiffy” or “Skippy” or some other brand of peanut butter. I don’t know why. He gets insane discounts on lettuce.
A quick, random fact about Arkansas before we get to the good stuff. The further you travel east in the state, the more likely camouflage is considered appropriate attire.
*I have never won an award for this column.
The next time we see each other we will be one Christmas older. Hard to believe isn’t it? I mean it was just the other day I was telling you about that haunted house on 10th street for Halloween. You’re growing up so fast.
Soon you will get mad anytime I tell you about things to do in OKC, and you will yell at me about how your friends’ entertainment editors don’t embarrass them in front of other people. You’ll probably tell me multiple times that you hate me and never refill that car with gas after you drive all night.
But one day when you have your own readers you will come back and say, “Adam, you were right all along. Thanks for changing my life.”
You’re Welcome. We entertainment editors all have our growing pains.
Here’s the fun stuff!
Hello everyone. It’s Adam, UCO’s most famous alumnus. You might think it’s Lauren Nelson, former Law & Order actress Milena Govich, Hinder or Michael Brown, the guy who found out he didn’t know how to run FEMA when Hurricane Katrina hit.
Nope, it’s this guy.
Ok, I got you. I’m totally lying. You’re so gullible.
Now that’s out of the way, we are going to discuss what you will be doing this Friday since the state has begun to thaw. Sound like fun?
Also, can you tell I struggled with an intro this week? Yeah, I figured so.
Hello everyone. It’s Adam and it’s cold. Don’t look at me. I didn’t do it. I blame Marisa. It’s true that I have never met Marisa, maybe that it why I find it so easy to blame her for things.
Cardinals losing the World Series? Marisa.
Me breaking my foot playing basketball? Marisa.
2008 economy collapse? Marisa.
Anyways, if you brave the conditions and decide to get out, stay safe. Don’t be the jerk who thinks everyone is being a wuss and decides to cause the rest of us a headache with your stupid, aggressive driving. If you swing out of traffic to make a pass without a thought about other people’s safety, I hope you safely and humorously end up in a ditch, Marisa.
Here are things to do that will hopefully not be cancelled:
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