Before we get to this week’s FNITBT, which is a great acronym, I should remind you that if you have any events, parties, fun things to do, swingers parties, sport tournaments, or a free kegger, you should let me on Twitter: @ArkansasFresh.
If Twitter is not your thing, email TheLostOgle at gmail.com.
I’m meeting many members of the TLO family for the very first time at tonight’s Barons game, which leads to this question: are they likable? Marisa seems nice, but it’s not easy to trust librarians. Spence, we all know he’s funny on the outside, but what about the inside? We all know Patrick’s a jerk. Sorry Patrick, I figure you’re going to read this.
Wish me luck!
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
I judged a science fair for 6th to 8th grade students last night. That’s the type of events a U-list OKC celebrity like me partakes in. I ate free Mexican food. You envy this.
It was nice meeting many of the Earth’s next scientists. As a judge in the physics section, I was educated in topics such as supercooling, the porosity of wood and its effects on burning, and how propeller blade angle effects energy creation. It was all impressive. Oh yeah, and then their was the kid with Mentos and Diet Coke. Original? no. Cool? That’s always cool.
It’s also nice knowing that today’s kids may have the ingenuity to possibly save our planet. I guess that’s what happens when you figure out that you are going to be living here and the older people don’t really care about the mess they are leaving. I wish them luck.
But what do I know, I’m not a scientist. Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town:
I’m not going to lie, though I am later on in this post, I have horrible headache. Like this size headache. The type that makes you want to drill a hole into your temple and pour liquid Tylenol into it.
This intro may not be my best ever, but I guarantee the content below is gold. Not fool’s gold, real gold. You know, the kind you can bite and not break your teeth. Also, gold prices are at a 4-month high, check it.
So, since the beginning is a little thinner, I leave you an extra nugget of fun. Here’s a hard damn quiz. Do not cheat. If you get them all correct, maybe Patrick will give you something. Probably not. Good luck!
I hope your 2015 is going well. I now have a different outlook on people, but that’s not to blame on the new year. It has everything to do with SimCity.
If you are unfamiliar with SimCity, it is a video game franchise that allows you to create and run your own city as mayor. You build residential, commercial and industrial zones, police and fire departments, monuments and more. Basically, anything you can think of. Some builds of the game create a Godzilla-like monster to trample your city with a click of a button. Realistic to the T.
“SimCity BuildIt” is the free smartphone version of the game. I recently downloaded it after hearing someone speak highly of it. It is fun, till your sim-citizens begin to complain.
“We need electricity.”
“Where’s a fire department? My dog house is on fire.”
“Sewage is a right.”
They don’t stop! I’m out of money. I’m trying to help these people, but no, they don’t care. I built them Devon-like business towers they won’t use because there is too much traffic. Really? This huge, sparkling building that have those really nice Dyson hand dryers, but they won’t touch it because they might have to wait a bit to turn left.
I’ve experienced two realizations while playing this game. First, now that I have real, first-hand experience as a mayor, I have to give it up to Mick Cornett. He deals with 600,000 whiny jackasses everyday. Ed Shadid, you should be happy you didn’t win.
Second, I’m not having kids. If I can’t deal with fake people, I can’t handle a real one. Nor would I want to subject he or she to a whiny jackass like me.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
There is less than one day before 2015, and do you know what that means? It’s time to finish up those 2014 New Year’s resolutions.
Obviously, time is of the essence so let’s get started. To save minutes, I will hack into your computer and retrieve those 364 day-old promises. All right…got it. Here we go.
1. Run a Marathon.
Yeah, that didn’t happen. Your Google Fit app says the most time you spent in motion was 80 minutes. This was in mid-September, meaning you were at the state fair eating fried mayonnaise and taking pictures of people who failed to make TLO’s semi-final rounds.
MarathonGuide.com says the average amateur marathon time in 2011 was four hours and 37 minutes, but you need to run closer to the world record of two hours, two minutes and 57 seconds. Get out to Stars and Stripes now and get it done. Luckily the weather is perfect for a run. I’ll be waiting here till you’re done.
You’re back. Six hours and 42 minutes. Really?
2. Lose 20 Pounds.
Ok, though we are short on time, due to the marathon you did drop a few pounds. That leaves 17 to go. Since losing that many pounds in seven hours is deemed unhealthy, let’s just stop by Wal-Mart and pick up some over-sized clothes. At least you can look like you achieved this goal.
Drink Less Eat Healthier.
I see you changed your mind quickly on this one. Ok, looking at your “My Fitness Pal” app, the most popular food item in the last year was “SmashBurger – So much! OMG!” Great. Well, technically the resolution is “to eat better in 2014,” so throw down on some asparagus and check that one off.
Good job, you squeezed it in. Feel proud, now you can reward yourself for the rest of the year.
Here’s your New Year’s in the Big Town.
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