Before we get to what you will be doing this cold weekend, I need to pull a Traber and “give it up” to someone.
Gov. Fallin, I can’t tell you how proud I am that you are the executive chief of the great state of Oklahoma. Day in and day out you are a ray of sunshine burning the retinas of your constituents in hopes you can lead the blind down the fork in the road that separates “Merica” and “America.” You obviously prefer the former.
Your recent decision to go DEF-Kern 5 and discontinue spousal benefits for all Oklahoma National Guard members just because you apparently hate gay people is reprehensible. It’s sad that you are allowing your childish thoughts about a lifestyle that makes you think “ewww” not only trample the civil rights of a group of people, but also the well-being of another group who have nothing to do with it.
Maybe you will find it in your cold heart to back track and give those who choose to protect our state and country the opportunity to provide benefits for loved ones. “Love,” you familiar with that term? If not you can Google it.
Here is this week’s Friday Night in the Big Town:
Hello Everyone. It’s Adam, the man with the facial hair of a 6th grade girl. I’m here to tell you what you should do this weekend. I also want to announce an event you shouldn’t attend.
Korn and Rob Zombie will be ruining people’s Friday night at the Chesapeake Arena. I know some of you may like Rob Zombie and I can see your argument that he may be entertaining even if you aren’t a fan of his music. He is basically a tattoo shop in human form, but in no way will I accept any case for Korn.
Due to me being tired and not too enthused about how this Thunder game ended, the only argument I’m going to push forward to support my assertion is their music. I think that’s pretty much “game, set, match.”
Anyways, send all complaints to tloAdamHolt@gmail.com or attack my twitter feed.
Here are a few alternatives.
Hello everyone. It’s Adam, the man you could only wish you could be. I can’t begin to count the amount fan mail I receive asking “Adam, how do I become the 5’9’’ and 150 lbs. of redheaded mayhem that you are?”
Well it’s a mix of hard work, good looks and natural talent. How else do you think I got this job? The average organism couldn’t handle this pressure. Not just anyone could begin as a stock boy at a Save-A-Lot Grocery Store at the tender age of 17 and make it to the Friday Night in the Big Town blogger. I should write a book or start a YouTube Channel or something.
So this is more of a “Saturday Night in the Big Town.” There are things to do Friday night, like Live at the Plaza, but I’ve profiled them too many times lately. I’m sure they will be happy to have you tonight down on 16th. With that said, here are a few other things to do.
Hello everyone. It’s Adam, and as of 9:57 p.m. on Halloween night, I still have all my windows. As a bonus, I’ve had no trick-or-treaters, so I have lots of candy.
Sweets eater be warned, chase that chocolate with full tube of Crest. Believe me, it’s worth it. My teeth have enough metal in them to create an aluminum baseball bat. I don’t mean to go all Web MD on you, but drooling all over yourself after a shot of Novocaine isn’t quite the buzz the kids say it is. It’s also damn expensive.
With that said, if you don’t like strawberry Sour Straws, send them my way. I can eat those by the pound. There is something about those worm-like, tangy tubes that make you involuntarily kick the closest thing to you that I cannot get enough of.
Here’s some fun stuff!
Hello everyone. The closer we get to Halloween the scarier and creepier OKC events become, and nothing epitomizes that like “Affair of the Heart.” The festival of all things Hobby Lobby is be on display weekend at State Fair Park.
I hear from sources that the “Affair” is a goldmine if you like Christmas crafts created from magazine instructions by middle age and up women. I expect you can find Patrick roaming the trinkets and Bedazzled sweaters while he tries to find his “life-work” balance.
I feel slightly bad for making fun of the event. I know those who take part put much tender, love and care into all those beaded bracelets, but if someone sets up the pins, you’ve got to knock them down.
So now to the things you will be doing after Affair of the Heart.
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