It’s fair time and here at TLO it is a very important week and a half. I mentioned before that this site runs on Emily Sutton and state fair pictures, so this is an equivalent to sweeps or Black Friday.
Though I have lived in Oklahoma for 12 years, I’ve never been to the state fair. Actually, I’ve only visited one fair since I was 14, and that was Toad Suck Daze in Conway, AR. Yes, it is named Toad Suck Daze. Here’s proof.
The name supposedly refers to steamboat crews stopping in the area and hitting the tavern hard. Locals were to of said “they suck on a bottle till they swell up like toads.” I’m not buying it. Why? It’s Arkansas.
Ask yourself, what state would I most likely find someone who sucks toads? Your answer was “Arkansas, maybe West Virginia.” I figure the current story is a cover-up to save face. It might be in the same realm as the rumor about Catherine the Great’s death. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then Google away.
Also, my one trip to Toad Suck Daze included an Eddie Money concert. Can’t beat that. Wait, yes you can.
Maybe I’ll get out there this year, though I do have a policy about fair rides that can be built in less than 10 minutes and whose main component is rust. That is “don’t ride it.”
Oh well, this is your Friday Night in the Big Town.
By the time you read this I will be……..on my way to New Orleans. How many were hoping “dead?” Don’t be shy, it’s ok, I never liked you either.
I’m visiting the American capital of voodoo to hang out with friends. I’ve always felt my friends and voodoo were two peas in a pod. By the way, if anyone is needing anything from the Big Easy, let me know, because we Oklahoma Citizens are pretty good at taking, or rather “borrowing,” New Orleans property. Remember the Hornets? Remember when people were floating the idea of the owners of the Sonics and Hornets “trading” franchises so Clay Bennett and company could buy our dearly loved Hornets from Seattle?
Thankfully that didn’t happen. Now known as the “Pelicans,” the franchise went 34-48 last year, which is almost as good as the Thunder. Also, instead of Durant and Westbrook, we would possibly be cheering on Anthony Davis and Tyreke Evans, who aren’t bad, but screw that. Loud City would be more of a sad, quiet township. Again, screw that. So were no longer friends with Seattle, which is too bad because it’s a cool area, but I tire them acting like they even knew they had a basketball team. Why am I bringing this back up. Sorry.
I’ll be back soon. I’ll try to bring back Tulane University. Or voodoo. Hopefully both.
Here is your Friday Night in the Big Town.
It’s back. The time of year when Saturdays mean three things: cholesterol skyrockets, TLO’s Twitter feed becomes ragingly unhappy and Norman’s traffic is inhumane. Yes, college football returns to Oklahoma this Saturday.
I understand many loathe the thought of hearing “Sooner” this and “Cowboy” that, so I will do my best to give you other options for the rest of the year. For the rest of us it is a great time. I can’t wait to see how many times the Sports Animal’s Jim Traber gives it up to himself while trying to decipher what passes as English when Al Eschbach speaks.
I could go for paragraphs about the humor spewed from the mouths of armchair coaches and quarterbacks, but we all know this, so I will save you the eye strain. Here is my national championship lock:
Arkansas Razorbacks over the UCO Bronchos, 24-21, in three overtimes. You can take that to Vegas.
Here is your Friday Night in the Big Town.
A winner is us. Yes, as you read yesterday, The Lost Ogle is once again “Best Website or Blog” in Oklahoma Gazette’s “Best of OKC.” This is no surprise. If I’m involved usually that means it’s the best. For example, my 6th grade YMCA flag football team went 6-0. I was wide receiver. That’s me on the far right. Yeah, the badass. I’m estimating I was about 5’5’’ and 100 lbs. of mayhem.
Anyways, we should receive our award, Burger King gift certificates (not gift cards), in the mail soon. I’m told they are the same ones you received when you made A’s on your elementary school report card. Those were the days.
Well, thanks again for those who voted for us. I heard Patrick say he doing Instagram selfies with our voters. He’s super excited. Oh well, I guess you came here for something to do.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Hello everyone. As I’m sure you’ve seen, celebrities and us groundlings are taking to social media to dump ice water on themselves. This “Ice Bucket Challenge” is a vehicle for the ALS Association to raise money to fight Lou Gehrig’s Disease, a condition affecting nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, leading to loss of muscle control and death. The wildly successful campaign quickly raised $4 million in two weeks. This is a great cause and everyone should donate and participate.
This got me thinking about ways to solve local issues through similar acts. Recently one of my favorite “societal panics,” devil worship, took hold of Gov. Fallin, a few religious leaders and some other people who are probably over 60. It’s become a big “to-do” for Fallin and the old ones, but not for many others. I have the answer to get the PR ball rolling. It’s called “The Goat’s Blood Challenge.”
How do you prove to The Dark Lord that you are not afraid? You fight fire with fire. We all know devil worshipper’s affinity for goat’s blood. Let’s take their precious nectar and show them what we think of it. Go get the Gatorade bucket, the goat’s blood and a bag of ice and dump that over your head, preferably without blinking. Facebook, Twitter and YouTube it. Now who holds the power? It certainly isn’t The Dark Lord.
I fully expect all of the political big boys and girls to take part, as well as OKC celebrities, beginning with Marisa and Aaron Tuttle. Let’s do this Oklahoma. We have a demon to fight.
On that note, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
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