Ah, Friday. The mere mention of this day brings a joyful tear to my eye. May your day be filled with the elation of the end of the week and the booze that oh-so-often accompanies this momentous occasion. If you live in Norman, however, watch out. The kids are coming back, and I guess rush week is coming up, or is already happening? I don’t know. All I know is that there are now lines at the bars and my nights are now sad. Christmas break can’t come soon enough.

Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

August 11: City Arts Center Midnight Streak 2012

Okay, so any time I write about a run happening in the city, I think you readers can sense my hatred of running. And I think City Arts Center picked up on this when they organized the Midnight Streak 2012 because you don’t have to partake in the running portion to have a good time. That’s right, readers. You can go to this and never lace up your New Balances.

While you athletic types are sweating it out to benefit City Arts Center, the rest of us will be enjoying the “Cool-er Runnings” theme and festival atmosphere. Sunny Side Up, a local reggae/ska band (whose songs are actually on Rock Band—neat huh?) will be playing, you can get your face painted or make a necklace in the Glow Arts Zone, or you can even hang out with the OKC Astronomy Club and enjoy the stars. And if you’re lucky, maybe you’ll meet Subway’s Jared Fogle. He’ll totally be there. If you meet him, ask him why Subway hasn’t named a sandwich after him yet.

A very happy weekend to you, readers. I heard Mike Morgan say the other day that a Canadian cold front is on the way, which means you can probably expect highs around 102 for this weekend rather than temperatures that rival the fiery depths of hell. So I guess that’s something to look forward to, though, for the most part, you can still expect the parched and sweltering deathscape that has been this summer. Not to be a downer or anything.

Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

August 3-4: The Edmond Quilt Festival 2012

You guessed it readers! The Edmond Quilt Guild is up to its old tricks again, quilting and whatnot, and holding a festival and raffling off a quilt! What a rambunctious bunch. Always threading bobbins and cutting patterns and measuring out the batting and various other quilty words! I confess that I don’t know much about quilts, only that I own a sewing machine and I have only sewn three of my fingers in it.

If you enjoy a good quilt, then get yourself to the Hamilton Field House at UCO. This festival will have a judged quilt show, various vendors, door prizes, quilting demos, and a raffle quilt. There is sure to be all manner of bed coverings there!

Happy weekend to you, readers! Can you believe July is almost over? I sure can’t. Allow me to extend my condolences to the children of the metro because August is upon us, and that means it’s time for you to go back to school. Life sucks for you kids, but it just gets worse because when you grow up, there is no summer break, and you don’t know strife until you put on business casual clothes in 100 degree heat. Seriously.

Anyway, here is your Friday Night in the Big Town.

July 27-28: 6^th Annual Oklahoma Contemporary Dance Festival

If you’re like me, you’ve spent a considerable amount of time watching So You Think You Can Dance and dreaming of the day when your dreams come true and you finally get that gig as a professional dancer. Never mind the fact that you have never taken a dance class and you’re pretty sure your limbs don’t move in ways that the majority of dances require. Maybe if you keep taking yoga classes, you think to yourself, but you know it’s just a pipe dream.

Well, if you enjoy dance but are more suited for the role of spectator, you should attend the Oklahoma Contemporary Dance Festival. The festival will include 38 local dancers choreographed by local choreographers. Saturday will feature a concert with performances by various Oklahoma dance companies. Come out and show your support for Okie dancers. Patrick will be there, most likely ogling all the ballerinas.

Well, readers, it’s been a good week. I’ve learned many things, like the whooping cough epidemic is the highest it’s been in fifty years and your babies aren’t safe. I’m not going to site that fact because someone tweeted it, and that someone wasn’t a medical professional. But still, it’s probably a good idea to get your kid vaccinated. Unless you’re like Jenny McCarthy and don’t believe in vaccinations. Because blondes who did dating shows and advertisements for Candie’s Shoes in the nineties know things about medicine. Anyway, I don’t know why I started out with that one. Maybe it’s because I went to Red Prime last night and I’m still digesting all that red meat. It was delicious, but I definitely got a meat buzz that turned into a hangover.

Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

July 20: American Idol Auditions at the Chesapeake Energy Arena

Well, it’s that time of year again, readers. It’s that time when my mom DVRs every episode of American Idol and every time I go to my parents’ house, my Dad grumbles about having to watch it and my mom shows me all the highlights of the show. Though this is a harrowing time for me, it’s at least a little better than Dancing with the Stars season. And at least the first few episodes bring in delightful train wrecks like William Hung and Mary Roach/Gilbeaux.

If you have what it takes to win it all, or at least what it takes to be featured in one of the beginning episodes, or you’re so bad that you are guaranteed to get on the show with your ridiculousness, then you need to get in line at the Peake. Opportunity is knocking, and your chance to be featured in a reality TV show about singing may never come around again.

What’s up, readers? It’s everyone’s favorite time of year, which is to say that it’s Friday. If you’re like me, that means you’re going to start drinking right around lunch time and keep going until you pass out. But then again, if you’re like me, then you’re not really a functional human being. Anyway, I have made a list of things for you to do this weekend if you don’t plan to be wasted the whole time.

Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town!

July 14: Boston at Lucky Star Casino

I have to say that the majority of my knowledge of classic rock comes from playing Rock Band. Maybe I’m not so cultured, but if videogames can’t teach us things, then I don’t know what can teach us. Plus, I’m really good at singing “More Than a Feeling” on expert. I’m practically a member of the band.

If you too, are great at singing Boston songs on expert, then you probably need to head to the Lucky Star Casino. They probably won’t let you sing on stage, but you can totally be loudest singer in the crowd. And since Boston has been active as a band for almost forty years, you know that this is truly going to be a party.