Hello everybody, it’s Adam, everyone’s favorite redhead. If you are wondering how I can make such a claim you are just going to have to take my word for it. I have sources, but I am not revealing them for their safety.
As I’m sure you all know, this is my ninth Friday Night in the Big Town. Please send all gifts and flowers to the Lost Ogle’s home office, which I assume is Patrick’s house.
This is a big post for me because nine breaks the record I set last week with my eighth. Now it’s time to discuss what you will be doing this weekend.
Hello everyone. It’s your Czar of Amusement, Adam. I’m here to help you find alternatives to the big game. I mean really, who wants to watch another epic beat down? And the traffic! It’s going to take so long just to get into the parking lot for the Skiatook Bulldogs – Shawnee Wolves game.
It’s so over commercialized it’s not even worth it anymore. I remember when it was underground like Guestroom Records used to be. Now it’s all Beyonce and Robin Thicke.
Don’t listen to me, I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.
I did however have one of my windows busted by neighborhood kids by means of a rock. I mean, I assume they were kids. I guess they could have been elderly people on Hoverounds and Rascal scooters. That would be so cute.
Here are a few things to do this weekend.
We Americans do not have the time to wait around for holidays. We could not wait for Black Friday so now retailers are having “Black Thanksgiving,” Easter candy goes on sale in like August and my mother has already sent me a card for Valentine’s day of 2015.
Yeah my mom sends me a Valentine’s card, because she loves me. Your mother doesn’t love you, but she loves me.
That got weird. Anyways, the reason I bring this up is because we already have two doses of Halloween for you with a little art in between. It’s like a Halloween and art sandwich. A “Hallow-art-wich.”
So a bird crapped on me the other day. I was told for the rest of the afternoon, “that’s considered good luck!” I’m here to tell you that is a lie. My life is not improving after spending an entire day telling people I was defecated on by a bird.
This is the third time and I have yet to be rewarded with any sort of good blessing. I am 33 years old, so I am averaging one bomb every 11 years. I will keep you updated throughout that period of time through Twitter on how my life is changing due to the fortune cookie known as “bird crap.”
With that out-of-the-way, let’s get to what you are here for, and that is to be somewhere else, preferably entertaining.
Well how about that? It’s another Friday in the state’s capital which means that I, Adam, will be commanding you to attend the following events.
I know what you are saying. “What bravado this man has. Who does he think he is telling me what I must do this weekend?” Well, I learn from the best, in this case Gov. Fallin.
Who am I kidding? I can only dream of possessing the amount of nerve and callousness to strip benefits from those who defend our country because of their genetics.
For now I will control your entertainment through my little article.
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