Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for Friday Night in the Big Town – Page 9

Friday Night in the Big Town: A Sing-a-Long, Bun B and the Comedy Get Down

After some deep reflection, I have decided The Lost Ogle staff compares favorably to our solar system. As owner of the blog, Patrick is none other than Jupiter. He’s bold and in charge, and like the planet, he has an intense red rash that isn’t going away.

Marisa is Saturn. For the last few years, she’s likely the most recognizable writer other than Patrick. Coincidentally, both she and the planet have an iron-nickel core.

The most obvious comparison is Chelsea and Venus. Like the planet and its atmosphere, she has a welcoming smile, but on the inside is a hot, hellish soul that leaves others’ brains a barren and burned landscape. Seriously, don’t go there.

Louis Fowler is Neptune. I base this solely on the rumor that he travels with a trident. Spence, well, he’s Mars… naturally. Ryan Drake is Uranus.

That leaves me as Pluto (sorry Mercury). The often overlooked dwarf planet that’s full of surprises if one takes a moment to look. Also, Pluto is named after the Greek god of the underworld, which is convenient because I am the god of the underworld.

The sun? That’s our state government, whose continual absurdity allows us to exist.

Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town…

Friday Night in the Big Town: The Elaborate Collaborate, Deep Deuce Food Tour and Bowling for Rhinos

Saturday I will be in Dallas to witness the Southwest Aerial Art Championships. It is a pole dance competition. To be clear, this isn’t stripper pole dancing. It’s classy and the competitors pay to participate, not vice versa. That’s what I’m told anyways. Truthfully, I don’t have any experience with either the stripper or competitor versions.

My sister-in-law, an anesthesiologist, is also a two-time winner of her division in the Atlantic Pole Championships. She will be in her hometown of Dallas to try her hands at the Southwest Aerial Art Championships.

This isn’t usually my kind of scene. I will be uncomfortable, yet amazed as I watch well-toned women wearing exercise attire flying through the air while grasping a tall silver cylinder. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining.

I’m sure my wife is planning to embarrass me multiple times this weekend. My skin will be red rather than its usual color of “dead fish belly white” quite often. It definitely could be worse. There’s a damn cobra loose in Austin.

Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town…

Friday Night in the Big Town: The Funniest in OKC, Energy FC Beer and Bitchwizard?

Hello, my name is Adam Holt and I have ruined your weekend for two years. Oklahoma City changed on July 12, 2013 when a hazel-eyed, handsome redhead took control of your days off work, and demanded you to attend the events of his choice. Looking at my page views, apparently you didn’t know this was mandatory. Patrick added hot Oklahoma girls and music videos to Friday, which helped. I will continue my march to own all of the weekends, even it’s at three new readers a week.

I appreciate everyone who reads FNITBT, even if you call me an “asshat” in the comments. It continues to be fun and interesting. Oh yeah, IF YOU HAVE EVENTS YOU WOULD LIKE FEATURED, TELL ME ON TWITTER: @ArkansasFresh.

Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town…

Friday Night in the Big Town: The OKC Philharmonic, a 5K and the Bricktown 4th Fest

As I read Louis Fowler’s piece “What $20 Will Get You at an Oklahoma Fireworks Stand,” I realized there is a job that doesn’t receive any credit or respect, yet our Independence Day would suffer without them. We should all shake the hand and thank a true American hero, the firecracker namer.

Fourth of July vernacular is unlike anything else. Hell, they are primarily the reason you buy half of your firecrackers. M-60s, Black Cats and Filet-O-Flames. Think about that last one. It’s as if someone brings you a plate of food, but surprise, it’s fire! Also, thanks to Mr. Fowler for introducing me to the term “El Paso Knobjobbers.” I don’t think that phrase made it to northeast Arkansas.

Seriously, would “small rotating object that sprints forward and creates high pitched noise” be as enticing as “Whistlin’ Chasers?” Anyways, thank you firecracker namer for making our July 4th that much more special.

Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town…

Friday Night in the Big Town: SoonerCon, OKCFEST and H&8th

An open letter to the person who rammed the back of my car and left,

Thanks. I really appreciate it. You understood the boredom from which I was suffering by sitting at a red light and decided to liven it up. My lunge forward towards the steering wheel was reminiscent of the Mr. Freeze roller coaster at Six Flags, but without the fun. You then began to follow me to an adjacent parking lot, but suddenly drove your big truck away, an obvious gesture saying “It’s ok Adam. No need to thank me.”

Actually, you’re a jackass. Luckily, I wasn’t injured and you only damaged my bumper. For a person who drives a big truck, an object exuding an idea of toughness and strength, you ran like a scared, crying kid brother after punching his big brother in the back, who then chases him. You and your big truck hit-and-ran, of all cars, a Prius.

So, if you didn’t already know you are a wuss, now you know. I hope someone driving a Smart car beats you up.