Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for Gary England – Page 6

Justice League of Oklahoma (Episode 2.7)

 

PREVIOUSLY:  The Justice League worked feverishly in an attempt to stop a plot to kidnap Sooner quarterback Sam Bradford.  Meanwhile, Amy McRee got wind of the plot and investigated as a journalist before she, herself, wound up missing.  Wayne Coyne tried to decode the kidnappers warning note and had a breakthrough, though, it appears it may be too late.

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Location: Gallagher-Iba Arena

Gary England listens carefully on his Gentner, but quickly loses his composure. “What do you mean, ‘He’s gone’?…Where’s Jason White?…What do you mean you ‘can’t get a hold of him’?…Wayne, this is unacceptable, un-ac-ceptable!” Gary snaps the phone shut. The other Justice League members in the arena see the anger in Gary’s eye and hesitate to inquire about the situation. Coach Doug Sauter motions to “Smokin’” Joe Burton to approach the England, but Burton refuses. Finally, Val Castor, as Gary’s right hand man decides to bites the bullet. Before he can get a word out, though, Gary takes command again: “Val, fire up the Storm Chasermobile. We’ve got to get back. Doug, Joe, hop in the back.”

Justice League of Oklahoma (Episode 2.6)

Previously: After a threat to kidnap Sam Bradford before the Big XII Championship game was brought to the attention of the Justice League, the investigation headed several dead ends. As a preventative measure, Gary England assigned Jason White to protect Bradford. Wayne Coyne began working at decrypting the letter Coach Stoops received. Amy McRee started doing her own investigation and is now missing. Coach Sauter and Joe Burton finally tracked down the main suspect, Robert Allen.

Holiday Guide ’08

Yesterday was January 2nd, which I personally believe is the best day of the year. It’s the official end of the holidays. No more presents to buy. No more decorations to hang. No more family and friends that I’m forced to pretend I like. Finally I can return to the life I’m used to living: wallowing in my own depression and self-loathing.

Also, it gives me a chance to plan out the holidays I’m going to celebrate during 2008. Contrary to popular belief, there are some holidays I actually enjoy. Mostly the ones that involve heavy drinking and some sort of idol worship. Anyway, here’s Tony’s Guide To The 2008 Holidays.

New Year’s Resolutions

Now that the ball has dropped and 2007 is gone, it is time for the New Year’s traditions. Growing up, my dad would always make us eat black eyed peas on January 1st because it supposedly brought forth good luck. Considering that they taste like something found in the cup seen in the video these people are watching, they damn well better bring some good fortune. Otherwise, I’d almost rather do as the Coney Island Polar Bear Club does for good luck and swim in freezing ocean water.

Of course the most common New Year’s tradition is the New Year’s Resolution. That’s where everyone makes a promise to give up a vice or improve their lifestyle in a way that will make this year better than the last…kind of like lent without the religion. And like lent, these resolutions are rarely followed up on for more than forty days.

Being slaves to tradition, we at TheLostOgle have resolved to be better people in 2008. I tried to think of something funnier than staying on top of housework, but seriously, my house is a pigsty. My son ambled out of the living room last night, and it took me a couple of minutes to find him. In order to avoid an Amber Alert narrowed down to Matthews’ Manor, I’m going to stick with that one.

I checked with Patrick, and his goal for 2008 is to create a drinking game for the Oklahoma Lottery Gameshow. Meanwhile, Tony plans to leave his apartment at some point during the year. After the jump, I have assigned some resolutions to a few other people, and in the comments section, you can provide your own plans for a better you.

Merry Justice League of Oklahoma (Episode 2.4)

Previously: After the Bedlam drubbing, Bob Stoops learned of a plot to sabotage the Big XII title game by kidnapping Sam Bradford. Gary England accepted the case for the Justice League, sending Bryant Reeves and Lauren Richardson to Stillwater to investigate if anyone at OSU might be involved in the plan. They spoke with Mike Gundy and Boone Pickens, but were unable to track down Robert Allen. Gary also assigned “The White Lantern”, Jason White, to personally protect Bradford.