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Archive for Gary England – Page 6

Ogle Madness III: East Region – Upper Bracket


So it begins!

Before we start today’s match-ups, we should let everyone know that the Ghost of Ed Gaylord beat the Ghost of Oral Roberts by a vote of 237 – 176 in the Ogle Madness play-in game.  I’m not sure what that means, but either way, it’s scary.

Also, here are some more things to review before we officially tip- off Ogle Madness;

“¢ Here is the 65 man/women/thing tournament bracket. This one may be easier to view and print than the previous one we posted.  Also, we eliminated some typos.  To stay true to form, we added some, too.

“¢ Some people have asked us what the voting criteria is for Ogle Madness.  Basically, there isn’t any.  I guess it’s just vote for whoever you want to advance or for who you like more.  That is, of course, unless you are voting for Patrick.  Patrick is handsome.  He’s also possibly writing this.

“¢ In Ogle Madness, polls are open for only one day.  That means you need to drop by each day to cast your vote for each round or region.

“¢ Please don’t be a tool and try to rig the ballot box.

“¢ If you want a good recap of last year’s bracket, check out the “One Shining Moment” video above.

Anyway, to today’s games.  They come from the top half of the East Region.  Here are the match ups:

(1) Gary England vs. (16) Chad Istook
(8) Bob Barry, Jr. vs. (9) Al Eschbach

(4) Jessica Schambach vs. (13) J’Ordy
(5)  Amy McRee vs. (12) Larry Nichols

Read about each participant and vote after the jump!

Gary England Day is an excuse to party…

This past weekend, a Lost Ogle reader got trapped at America’s Pub in Bricktown. To prove it, they sent us the following picture of the screen where you can send text messages.  We consider it a cry for help.

gary england day

Actually, this is a pretty cool. It’s comforting to know that the masses were out celebrating Gary England Day. It’s also good to know that Kristin Gilpin probably got a kiss, and that Katrice’s boobs looked amazing.  The reader mentioned that the phrase “Clark Matthews cheats at checkers,” also appeared on the big screen, but we don’t have any photo proof of that.

That being said, I think it’s disturbing that this photo was taken at America’s Pub in Bricktown.  I feel sorry for the guy who was trapped there.  Seriously, that place is a Douche Bag paradise. Go there on any Friday or Saturday night and you’ll see enough Affliction shirts and embroidered eagle wings to cause a seizure. Granted, that also means there are plenty of dumb hot chicks with big breasts and sun dresses in attendance, but it’s hard for me to care about that when I spend my typical evening being hand-fed lush grapes by European fashion models.

Anyway, maybe next year some bar will have an official Gary England Day party.  I nominate either TapWerks, Nite Trips or Edna’s.  And as long as the drinks are free, I’ll be there.

Little Known Facts About Gary England (2)

Gary on Horse 

Soon after the May 8, 1986 tornadoes took out a large portion of Edmond, Gary England was distraught by his inability to control his clutch on the weather.  He took a leave of absence from KWTV and disappeared for several weeks without contacting anyone in Oklahoma.

What few people know is that during this time, Gary resurfaced in Mexico where he joined a travelling rodeo as a broncho rider with the handle “Jump Back Jackson”.  In this span, he entertained crowds with his ability to ride unbroken stallions for up to 47 seconds before the horses gave up trying to buck him.

At the time, it was the greatest experience of England’s life and he nearly chose to eschew his destiny as the greatest meteorologist in history…until he met the man who would change his life.  One day at the rodeo, a spooked bull crashed through a gate and was charging directly for a group of mentally handicapped swimsuit models.  Before Gary even knew what was happening, a rodeo clown dubbed “El Loco Gustanado” grabbed he bull by the horns and wrestled it down with his bare hands.

Later that night, Gary bought the clown a beer and unburdened him with the doubts that had brought England to fleeing his duties in Oklahoma City.  The clown scoffed, for he had no fear of anything, and offered to help Gary refine his weather controlling capabilities.  Then, the clown whose real name was Val Castor, drove him back to the channel 9 studios where they continue to be the greatest storm chasing team known to man to this very day.

Little Known Facts About Gary England

navy

At the age of 15, Gary England (center) forged his birth certificate and joined the Navy in hopes of seeing the world and learning about meteorology.  During basic training, his unique abilities were discovered and a cunning admiral introduced him to Rip (left) and Curly (right) in hopes of forming an elite naval team greater than the SEALS.

Their initial orders were to report to a carrier ship off the coast of Uruguay to squelch a burgeoning pirate army.  Once they boarded their plane, however, they were informed that they would actually be headed to the Falkland Islands to study the coastline of Chile, whose hook echo like formation would become an invaluable tool toward furthering their understanding of severe weather.  Later, this knowledge was put to use during the Bay of Pigs debacle and the May 3rd tornadoes.

Gary England is whacking it…

I’m not sure what Gary is whacking, but maybe this explains why he was so off on his forecast during the spring blizzard.  Also, did you know that each time Gary whacks it that he also kills a kitten?  Need proof?  Just ask Rusty Surrette.