If you share a secret on a news channel, is it really a secret?
I ask because Linda Cavanaugh and Mike Morgan recently shared their secrets to a successful marriage on KFOR. They are experts in the field because they haven’t divorced yet and Channel 4 needed a self-promotional sweeps story to pander to conservative married baby boomers from Edmond.
Here’s the video:
Over the weekend, KFOR’s Emily Sutton and Scott Hines went to Twitter and Facebook and promised a “special announcement” for this Monday’s morning show.
— Emily Sutton (@emilyrsutton) November 16, 2013
— Scott Hines (@newscowboy) November 15, 2013
— Scott Hines (@newscowboy) November 16, 2013
Obviously, these updates got the attention of Emily’s creepy followers. Instead of writing a blog posting about the news, they commented directly on Emily Sutton’s Facebook page. Most assumed that Emily and Scott were getting engaged.
Here are a few of them:
Auto burglary and theft is one of the most common crimes in America. At least I think it is. Everyone has had their car broken into once or twice, right?
It’s happened to me at least a half-dozen times. The first two experiences occurred while I was in high school. One time, thieves I probably knew stole my JVC pullout tape player. Not only did they unnecessarily break out an expensive-to-replace vent window when the car was unlocked, but they made sure to eject and leave behind the Stone Temple Pilots cassette tape that was in the unit. At least they had good taste in music.
The third, fourth and fifth time all occurred when I lived in Lincoln Greens near 122nd and Penn. The one that burned the most was when they jacked the new Pioneer 5 Disc CD changer from the trunk of my Mitsubishi Galant. The device cost like $350, and that didn’t include the installation and / or interest I paid on my credit card. The assholes also took my booklet of 100 CDs. They (fortunately) didn’t leave behind any STP.
Just a few years ago, my car was broken into while parked in my garage. It was a Sunday night and I accidentally left my garage door open until about 10:00 p.m. That means while I was in my living room watching Sunday night football and eating spaghetti, some creepy and bold-as-fuck prick was in my garage going through the glove compartment of my car. King Big Balls took an old iPod Shuffle and change from my cup holder. I didn’t even notice until I was driving to work the following morning and saw the contents of my glove compartment on the floor.
Finally, just a few months ago, a Level 4 Ogle Groupie’s car was burglarized while parked in my drive way. The person grabbed some boxes of books from the trunk, and then proceeded to rummage through them by the side of my house. By the way, did I tell you I recently acquired a gun?
Anyway, I shared all that with you for a couple of reasons:
1. I felt like needlessly showing my age and enjoyed the transition from tape player to CD changer to MP3 shuffle stick.
2. I wanted to hit home the point that auto burglaries are common and frequent crimes that target lower-income folks and don’t really deserve special media attention… unless, of course, you work for KFOR and the burglaries take place at an affluent country club in Nichols Hills. Then we need to be worried and alert and aware and watch KFOR for the details:
Back at my old job, my boss would always say that he wanted his employees to maintain a strong “work-life balance.” I was always happy to oblige. With an easy 8-5 schedule, good insurance, vacation time and the internet on my work PC, achieving a good balance between work and life was easy.
Now that I’m self-employed and run an obscure local media and trivia empire, it’s become a little more difficult to keep up the concept. I guess you can say my work has become my life and my life has become my work. It really is hard to differentiate the two. For example, when I watch the news and see an attractive woman reporting in front of an apartment fire, I don’t just think “I hope no one was hurt” or “Wow, that girl is hot.” I wonder “Wow, that girl’s hot. I wonder where we should rank her in the 20 Hottest Women in the Oklahoma City media. I better hop on her Facebook page and grab pics before it goes private…and yeah, I hope no one was hurt.”
Anyway, I’ve decided to take a few days off from writing for TLO to focus on the “life” part of that equation. While I’m tending to that, you should probably check out this video of Mike Morgan having an epic meltdown on the webcast Weather Brains. It’s pretty amazing. The clip starts around the 2o minute mark. It kind of goes all over the map, but if you want to see and hear Mike go on heated, occasionally incoherent, rants about severe weather, talk trash on Gary England and David Payne, imply that he knows know about weather than the national weather service, and many other fun things, check it out:
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