That’s a pic of local broadcasting legend (kidding) Brent Skarky talking to Emily Sutton at Saturday night’s “Single in the City” auction. Why would Brent Skarky be allowed in the same room as Emily, much less granted time to have a conversation with her on a stage??? Well, the people at Oklahoma Magazine picked Brent to emcee the auction. That’s right, they went with the Skarkster. Apparently their first choice, Driver from the Sports Animal, called in sick at the last second.
Anyway, I didn’t make this year’s auction, but an Ogle Mole in attendance provided me with some grainy, poorly lit videos of Emily on the auction block. I think you can say she had a good time. Here are the videos.
Emily Sutton officially started her new career today as the regular morning meteorologist for KFOR Channel 4. She’ll be on the air each weekday from 4:00am – 7:00am. We know this because Channel 4 has been playing the following promo commercial non-stop for about a week. It makes you say “awwwwwwwwwwwww” more than your friend Jessica (a.k.a. the annoying girl at a baby shower):
Uhm, is Channel 4 trying to imply that Emily Sutton’s dream in life is to wake up at 2:00am each morning to give the weather forecast in Oklahoma City? That’s a little premature isn’t it? They should have saved that clip for when Mike Morgan retires and Emily dons the bedazzled weather dress. Or are they saying that Emily is finally fulfilling her dream of being a TV meteorologist? If that’s what they’re doing, doesn’t it totally discount Emily’s contributions over the past 3 years? Was her other work not that important? Am I being too analytical? Probably so.
Anyway, Emily has been
promoting writing about the new gig on Facebook and it’s brought out some of the creepy crawlies. And I’m not talking about the ones who post pictures of her in a bikini behind the thinly veiled pseudo-anonymity of the internet. I’m talking the creepy crawlies who live in a world where Emily Sutton is like a best friend and post awkward, sitting-too-close comments on her Facebook Page.
Here are 20 of my favorites.
To lead things off, we have anti-punctuation and -capitalization guys:
Back when TV chopper pilot Jim Gardner made the jump from Channel 4 to Channel 9, there was a rumor that he was taking the lucrative Bob Moore helicopter sponsorship with him. That never materialized. Instead, Channel 9 went the route of a different Robert and inked Bob Mills Furniture to a long-term chopper sponsorship. So now whenever Jim Gardner rescues a deer from a frozen pond, follows a police chase through Jones, or surveys death and destruction following a catastrophic multi-vortex maxi-wedge grinder, you’ll be reminded of love seats, the Pillow Bar and that moderately attractive chiropractor from the Sleep Spa Studio.
Well, apparently some intern at Channel 9 didn’t get that memo. Check out this crudely taken photo that a Mole sent us from a recent News 9 broadcast:
Hmmn, something tells me “The Working Man’s Friend” isn’t going to be happy with that. He’ll be more upset than that time in 2004 when he accidentally shrunk all his sweaters in the dryer.
Anyway, on the topic of Jim Gardner and crudely taken photographs, take a look at this post that Jim Gardner left on his Facebook page when he learned that Mary Ann Eckstein was out as the news director at Channel 4. It’s amusing:
Yesterday afternoon, the Ogle Mole Network was abuzz with rumors that KFOR had forced out their longtime News Director Mary Ann Eckstein. For those who follow the local media, this was pretty big news. Mary Ann has been a staple of the Oklahoma City news scene for decades. She’s been around so long that she remembers what Linda Cavanaugh looked like as a 43-year-old. She’s seen Bob Barry Jr. go from skinny to fat to kind of skinny to kind of chubby to almost dead from a scooter accident.
Anyway, from what we’ve gathered Mary Ann Eckstein is apparently leaving Channel 4, and I don’t think it was a mutual split. It appears to be one of those “Take this nice early retirement package and be quiet” type of deals. We also have no clue why it happened. We’ve heard everything from union troubles to disgruntled employees to the company’s embarrassing social media fails that happened on her watch. And by social media fails, I mean everything from wishing people a happy Zombie Jesus Day to asking if it’s okay to rape a child to baiting Derplahomans on their Facebook page.
Then again, it could also be that Channel 4 kind of sucks right now. They continue to lose staff to Channel 9 and their reporting has become a pandering to the lowest common denominator joke. I think every story they run has to do with sexual predators or animals. Just check out this sad “news” report from yesterday. It was the lead story on KFOR’s website for nearly 12-hours:
Last Friday, KFOR posted a story on its Facebook page about how President Obama would be using the Lincoln Bible for today’s unofficial inauguration ceremony. It’s the same Lincoln Bible that Obama used during his first inauguration four years ago.
Here’s a screenshot of their post:
So you may be asking yourself, “Why would an Oklahoma City news channel post something like this to its Facebook wall? What’s the news value? Who cares?”
The answer to that is one word: Derplahomans.
You know who Derplahomans are. They’re those ignorant people who think Obama is Muslim communist dictator, want prayer (and guns) allowed in public schools, and think gay people are the biggest threat to the country. They live around you, work around you, and vote for all the bat-shit crazies that run this state.
Anyway, when KFOR posted the Lincoln Bible story, they did so with one intention: to rally the Derplahomans and generate “conversation” on the station’s Facebook page. And boy did it work. As of this writing, there were nearly 482 comments on the post. I’d say 70% were posted by Derplahomans who oppose the president, 15% by normal people who oppose the president, and 15% of people who support the president. I spent my Sunday afternoon highlighting the 25 best posts by the derps in that 70%. All of these posts are real, and I assume most were written by people from their Cricket wireless phone while waiting in line for cigarettes at Wal-Mart.
Anyway, let’s start with the crazies who would like to see our president assassinated.
If you’re going to suggest that a guy be assassinated, at least have the common courtesy to spell ‘assassinated’ correctly.
Yeah, I guess the rule above also goes for people who “pray” for assassination. Which by the way, is such a positive, Christian thing to do.
These were the only two people who openly suggested – or prayed – that our president be shot and killed. Other people went the classy route and suggested he view a play at Ford’s Theater instead:
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