20. Have Maggie Carlo fight Amy McRee in a bikini oil wrestling match on pay-per-view.
We know that Amy McRee looks good in a bikini. And we are pretty sure that Maggie Carlo would look good in a bikini. But we are 100% sure that Amy McRee and Maggie Carlo would look amazing in a bikini oil wrestling brawl. This idea must be added to the book.
Here’s a quick review of what we are doing. Last January, State Speaker Lance Cargill created some weird thing called the Oklahoma 100 Ideas Initiative. Here’s how it was described:
The 100 Ideas initiative will change the way business is done at the State Capitol. Instead of legislation originating from lobbyists, special interests and government employees, this initiative seeks ideas from the private sector and from citizens across the great state of Oklahoma. Once the initiative is complete, the top 100 ideas will be published in a book and presented to the Oklahoma State Legislature.
Since we are citizens from the “great state of Oklahoma,” we decide to contribute our own 100 ideas for the initiative. But since we’re pretty sure that Speaker Cargill and his friends won’t put any of them in his book, we figured it would be better to share them here over the next few weeks.
P.S.- Please note that unlike our Top 100 Oklahoma Embarrassments, our 100 contributions are not “ranked” in any way. And if you have any ideas that you would like to see on our list, send us an email. We may include it!
You will recall that we have a fantasy team in the KREF fantasy league. Since people talking about their fantasy football team is only eclipsed in annoyingness by Rachael Ray, telemarketers, and KREF’s signal strength, we will keep this brief. Week two was no better than week one for The Lost Ogle’s team, as we fell to the powerhouse Three Amigos, 124-82.
Leaguewide results:
The Crying Favres 110, The US Americans 96
ASBs Chuffle Shuffle 122, Cole & the Gang 106
Rhett Bomar’s Revenge 71, T-Row 70
T-BONE 138, Isaiah 26-8 124
Simply Enfuego 88, The Lumber Jacks 66
You will recall that we have a fantasy team in the KREF fantasy league. Since people talking about their fantasy football team is only eclipsed in annoyingness by Carlos Mencia, people talking about their golf games, and people talking about their poker hands, we will keep this brief. Week one got off to a rough start for The Lost Ogle’s team, as we went down 96-56 to ASB’s Chuffle Shuffle and scored the least points of any team in the league. Nowhere to go but up!
Leaguewide results:
The Three Amigos 99, The Crying Favres 67
Cole & The Gang 92, Rhett Bomar’s Revenge 65
T-Row 132, T-BONE 70
Simply Enfuego 102, Isaiah 26-8, 99
The Lumber Jacks 79, The US Americans 75
Sometimes I wonder which is worse:
A. Listening to someone talk about their fantasy football team,
B. Listening to someone talk about a bad beat in Texas Hold Em, or
C. Listening to that stupid golf show on the Sports Animal with Andy Dilliard and Craig Humphreys
Since all three are terrible, we are going to try to avoid ever writing about any of them. But for this time only, I am going to list our fantasy football team from the KREF Fantasy Football League. To make up for this, please enjoy the picture of Jessica Alba playing football in the ocean. Here’s the team:
QBs (start 1):
Matt Hasslebeck, Jason Campbell
RBs (start 2):
Frank Gore, Cedric Benson, Brandon Jacobs, Lamont Jordan
WRs (start 3):
Lee Evans, Laveranues Coles, Chris Chambers, Mike Furrey, Brandon Marshall, Matt Jones
TEs (start 1):
Todd Heap, Tony Scheffler
Defense/ST (start 1):
Philly
Kicker (start 1):
John Kasay
Anyway, this post is going nowhere. If you are a good reader, please tell us how much our team sucks. Thanks!
After being Mr. Incomprehensible last week, Mr. Monday is now simply Mr. Irrelevant. In his weekly Monday column, the witty Oklahoman scribe tackled the whole zany topic of the OU Scrotal Assassin. No offense to Mr. Monday, but shouldn’t he write about something a little more current? Didn’t the whole topic lose its “charm” on Friday? What’s he going to write about next week…Aubrey McClendon being fined?
Actually, if the Oklahoman were smart, they would promote Mr. Monday to Mr. Monday Through Friday. His column is one of the better parts of the sports page, and I would much rather read it than not read a Jenni Carlson column. Maybe the Oklahoman should look at even getting him a blog on the fancy NewsOK.com. That’s probably more fitting to his style, plus when news like the Scrotal Assassin breaks, he can provide his coverage and commentary about the topic when it’s relevant. Not when it’s old boring news!
P.S.- The picture above is in celebration of TheLostOgle.com being named to the KREF Fantasy Football League. We, along with Toby Rowland, TJ Perry and nine other KREF callers are going to battle it out for fantasy football supremacy. We also have to be nice to Toby during the entire football season, and Clark Matthews has to loan Toby his fake mustache and trench coat. Should be fun.
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