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Archive for Mary Fallin

Rasmussen Poll: Mary Fallin leads Joe Dorman by only 5%…

9 JB Dorman Bricktown Brewery

So you’re saying there’s a chance.

On Friday, Rasmussen released shocking poll results that show the 2014 Oklahoma Gubernatorial race is lot closer than anyone actually thought. How close? Mary Fallin only leads Joe Dorman by a 45% – 40% margin.

Yes, that’s only 5%. I guess blocking affordable healthcare for poor people, giving tax cuts to the 1%, allowing horse slaughter, denying access to public records, coming out against tornado shelters in schools, traveling across the world on the state’s dime, flunking third graders, discriminating against homosexuals, and naming her dog Okie and not Trooper has taken its toll on Mary Fallin’s popularity.

Via Rasmussen Reports:

Mary Fallin isn’t so popular…

mary fallin sesame street

Earlier this week, The Tulsa World reported that Governor Mary Fallin’s approval rating hit an all time low of 52%. To put that in perspective, The Phantom Menace has a 57% approval rating at Rotten Tomatoes. So basically, people approve of shitty movies more than our bad governor.

From The Tulsa World:

The past year has taken a bite out of Gov. Mary Fallin’s approval rating, polling over the past four years indicates.

Fallin’s favorability with Oklahoma voters dipped to 52 percent in early June, according to an Oklahoma Poll conducted for the Tulsa World by SoonerPoll.com.

That represents a new low for Fallin in Tulsa World polling, and a 19-point drop from her high of 73 percent in September.

Falling’s rating stood at 71 percent a year ago.

Bill Shapard of SoonerPoll.com said some difficult political situations have likely cooled the enthusiasm of both conservatives and moderates. He specifically mentioned Fallin’s continued resistance to the Affordable Care Act’s expanded Medicaid program, and a revolt against important elements of the governor’s education agenda.

Yeah, this isn’t too big of a surprise. As Bill Shapard mentioned, there are several good reasons for people not to like Mary Fallin. He did miss some obvious ones, though.

First of all, she’s a woman. That definitely can’t help her cause. Whether we’re putting them in prison or simply telling them what they can or can’t do with their body, Oklahoma has a long, storied history of doing everything possible to make life miserable for women. The fact that we even have a female Governor is kind of a surprise.

Second, there’s that whole open records thing. How could you approve a Governor who wants to keep open records secret? If you’re going to turn down federal dollars that provide healthcare coverage for poor Oklahomans in order to advance your own political career, at least let us see the emails that helped you decide.

Third, she’s the George W. Bush of governors. Whenever she gives a speech, you can tell that she literally doesn’t comprehend a word of what she’s saying. Thank God a state can’t declare war, otherwise we’d be occupying Alberta, Canada to protect the interests of Continental Resources. I can’t wait to see her paintings once she retires.

Anyway, these new polling numbers have to be good news for Democratic Gubernatorial candidate Smokin’ Joe Dorman, right? According to The World, maybe not.

Mary Fallin didn’t name her dog Trooper…

christina fallin dog

He’ll always be a little Trooper in our hearts.

Mary Fallin has finally named her cute little puppy. She didn’t go with Trooper, Tubby, Frack, Coffee, or Grotto like we suggested. She went with something much worse and, oddly enough, insulting to all Oklahomans.

From an AP story via The Oklahoman:

Mary Fallin needs help naming her new dog Trooper…

mary fallin

Mary Fallin has a new little puppy. That’s a pic of him chewing up some of the open records we requested.

The dog is a cute little white lab that Mary probably purchased from a puppy mill in Tuttle, because if there’s one person in this state who would support puppy mill breeders, its horse slaughter proponent Mary Fallin.

Because Mary can’t decide anything on her own, she’s asking for help from the public to choose the pup’s name.

From NewsOK.com:

Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin is seeking the public’s help in naming a new white Labrador retriever puppy.
Fallin said Thursday she is asking people to visit her Facebook page and offer ideas. Among the more than 350 names suggested on her page are Freedom, Reagan, Okie, and Cowboy.
Fallin and her husband, Wade Christensen, already have a young Labrador mix named Burney, a rescue dog found abandoned near a grassfire in northeast Oklahoma City two years ago. Fallin’s longtime dog Rascal died last year.
Fallin described the new puppy as “darling,” but says he’s already chewed up a pair of shoes. She added: “He’s just as cute as he can be, but he sure likes to bite.”

Yeah, something tells me that’s not the first time Mary’s said “He’s just as cute as he can be, but he sure likes to bite.”

In case it’s not obvious, Trooper is the perfect name for the dog. In fact, the name is so perfect that there’s no way Mary will go with it. Here are a few other suggestions:

Mary Fallin received her first marriage proposal… at the Playboy Mansion?!

Last week, we received a really weird email via the Ogle Mole Network. How weird? Oh, it just contained some old scrapbook clippings from a 1984 Oklahoma City Friday article about some dentist named Joe Fallin proposing to some lady named Mary Copeland at the Playboy Mansion.

Wait! What?

mary fallin playboy 3

You know what? Let’s go ahead and give it up to Joe Fallin. Proposing to your girlfriend at the Playboy Mansion requires balls the size of a small moon or Death Star. It would be like taking your wife to Hooters for an anniversary dinner and requesting the waitress with the largest breasts. Basically, it’s a pimp move that even the Video Vigilante would respect.

Okay, so maybe I’m overreacting it a little bit. This happened 30 years ago. It’s not like it’s news or anything. It’s just funny to learn that Mary Fallin, a socially conservative governor from a socially conservative state who ran on a socially conservative platform probably had sex in the Playboy Mansion hot tub. I hope it was the proper temperature…

Anyway, before you crack crude, inappropriate jokes about hot tubs, state troopers and airbrushing, check out the article about the engagement. It’s a bit blurry, but it will give you more comedy material.