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Archive for Mary Fallin

10 odd things you need to know about Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin…

trump fallin

Will Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin be Donald Trump’s Vice President? Have you heard those rumors about Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin being Donald Trump’s running mate? Who is Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin? What are the odds Donald Trump picks Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin as his vice presidential running mate? Mary Fallin Donald Trump Hair Vice President Pick Guide???

Okay, sorry about the awkward, SEO optimized paragraph up there. With the Republican Convention only a few weeks away, and Mary Fallin apparently still on Trump’s VP short list, I decided we have to do whatever is possible to get people to stop by this site and learn more about our favorite person in the world – Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin.

For the next few weeks, or until Fallin is or isn’t named Trump’s VP, we’re going to release various clickbaity lists with information about Mary Fallin. We’re doing this because…

A. We’re qualified. Even Mary Fallin would admit that if you’re wanting to learn unfiltered details about her life, and read about the many personal and professional gaffes she’s made as Oklahoma’s Governor, you’re at the right spot. From exposing her plagiarism the day she took office, to suing her for denying open records to the media, to making sure everyone knows she spawned Hipster Boo Boo, we’re the number one website in America for snarky news, opinion and commentary about Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin.

B. People could use the education. Outside of Oklahoma, most people are not too familiar with Mary Fallin, and seem fine with her being only a heartbeat away from becoming the most powerful person in the world. I can’t blame them. From an outside, judge-a-book-by-its-cover perspective, she seems like a qualified choice. She’s an affable, establishment, two-term governor from a red, energy producing state who loves to work for the wealthy and powerful. She has beltway experience as a Congresswoman, follows the stereotypical GOP platform of God, Guns and Gays, and has no problem torturing people before they die. Little do these national folks know that Mary is basically a blonde, less spunky version of Sarah Palin. The only major difference is that instead of not reading any newspapers or magazines, Mary Fallin only reads the OKC Friday.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to go through our extensive archives and share 10 odd / strange / interesting news stories that we’ve written about Mary Fallin since 2010. Please keep in mind, we’re avoiding many of the policy failures and political blunders that have defined her reign as Governor, and led to her 42% approval rating in Oklahoma. That’s for a different post. Until then, here are 10 odd / borderline amusing tidbits to know about Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin…

fallin

1. She plagiarized NPR at her first inauguration…

“Although stealing stuff like that is a weird and tacky thing to do, I guess it could be worse. She could be stealing stories from Hee Haw or the chain emails that your uncle forwards to you. And if she ever uses obscure car knowledge as an analogy in a speech or accidentally calls Tulsa World reporter Randy Kriebel “Zorba Paster” during a press conference, at least we’ll know why.”

hot tub

2. She prefers the temperature in her hot tub to reach 104 degrees…

“In the whole scheme of things, the costs associated with the maintaining the pool isn’t that big of a deal. Sure, $3,255 is a good chunk of change and could go a long way for an Oklahoma family, but in relation to a multi-billion state budget it’s pretty insignificant.

However, it’s irritating that while the average Oklahoman was cutting back and trying to recover from the Great Recession, our state’s Chief Executive Officer was busy worrying about the temperature in her swimming pool and the size of a hot tub cover. If that doesn’t show how out of touch she is with the average Oklahoman, I’m not sure what does…other than her constant need to vacation out-of-state.”

mary fallin puerto rican vacation 4

3. She really likes to travel…

fallin open toe shoes governors association 2

4. She wears open toed shoes with black tights…

Dean Blevins’ “inside sources” say Kevin Durant is going to sign a five year deal…

The quest to keep Kevin Durant in Oklahoma City reached its zenith.

As first picked up by UpRoxx of all things, News 9’s Dean Blevins let the world know in one of his mandatory News 9 Facebook videos that according to his “sources” (the same people who suggested Draymond Green would be suspended for Game 4, Baker Mayfield wouldn’t have to sit out any time as a transfer, and Bob Stoops will be coaching at Florida) Kevin Durant will be signing a five-year deal with the Thunder

Here’s the video:

Let’s forget about how creepy this video looks, like he was going for the “Unsolved Mysteries host segment” look with this flip-phone video he shot in the Thunder’s gym parking lot. I’m onboard with his enthusiasm about the Ibaka trade, which could end up being brilliant enough to make us all forget about the James Harden deal. But is it elation, senility, or an overdose of Botox that has made him imagine that he has a source that leaked to him the information that KD is signing a five-year deal?

Who knows, maybe Dean hacked into KDs email and has seen stuff that noone else has, but Durant famously has a small camp that keep things close to the vest. Why would any of them would leak such a serious detail to any reporter, let alone a goofball like Blevins?

Also, why would Durant sign a five-year deal? According to projections from ESPN, waiting one more year to sign a longer contract could earn him nearly $80 million extra dollars. I don’t care how if you’re Harold Hamm in a divorce settlement, there is no way a sensible person could walk away from that much dough. The difference between $153 million and $230 million is staggering.

But it’s not just Dean-O that’s casting manufactured optimism over the metro. There are other loser-vibes that we’re sending right now. Consider this Tower Theater marquee:

Patrice Douglas no longer wants that cushy $250,000 TSET job…

patrice-douglas

Someone better start a Go Fund Me!

According to The Oklahoman, Patrice Douglas has “declined” that much ridiculed, chastised, and generally hated by everyone with a soul $250,000-a-year job offer with TSET.

Via NewsOK.com:

Patrice Douglas on Wednesday declined a $250,000-a-year offer to work for a state agency overseeing tobacco settlement funds.

The lucrative offer, which is $100,000 more than Gov. Mary Fallin makes, stirred criticism from the public and elected officials.

Douglas, a former mayor of Edmond and a former member of the Oklahoma Corporation Commission, said she was disappointed the job offer didn’t work out.

Will you look at that!? We finally found a person in Oklahoma who’s “disappointed” that our Tobacco Trust Fund Settlement dollars will not be used to unnecessarily pay an establishment politician $250,000 a year to lead an organization of 22 people. Granted, it’s the politician who had the $250,000 gig pulled out from under her who’s disappointed, but at least somebody is disappointed by it.

Let’s cut to the hysterically out-of-touch, void of reality quote Patrice gave to paper:

Mary Fallin’s right-hand man is in trouble… again

preston doerflinger

Back in January of 2015, we first reported that State Finance Secretary Preston Doerflinger – one of Mary Fallin’s most trusted advisors and the man overseeing our state’s budget calamity – was arrested on DUI-related charges after he was spotted having a drunken argument with a woman in a parked car near one of the 10 worst 7-Elevens in the Oklahoma City metro.

Because he’s not poor or a minority, has friends in very high places, and can afford an attorney, the charges against him were eventually lowered to a speeding ticket as part of a plea deal. The only catch is he had to go through assessment and treatment, attend DUI school and AA meetings, and maintain a clean driving record.

I’m not sure how the DUI school and AA meetings are going, but it looks like Doerflinger is struggling a bit with maintaining a clean driving record. Last week, he was ticketed by OHP in Tulsa for not wearing a seatbelt and driving with a revoked license stemming from his early arrest.

The Oklahoman‘s Nolan Clay has the details:

Finance secretary accused of driving after license revoked

Oklahoma’s secretary of finance, Preston Doerflinger, has been ticketed twice this month, accused of driving after his license was revoked and of not wearing a seat belt.

An Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper issued the tickets after stopping Doerflinger, 44, about 8:20 a.m. June 13 in Tulsa County.

At the time of the stop, his driving privileges were considered revoked for 180 days by the Department of Public Safety, records show. The revocation began June 8.

Before we continue, are we really supposed to believe that he was pulled over for simply not wearing a seatbelt? I guess it could happen, but unless you’re a minority and they’re looking for an excuse to pull you over, cops rarely stop people for simply not wearing a seatbelt. It’s usually an add-on offense that accompanies another charge. Then again, cops seem to have a thing for Preston Doerflinger. We took a look at Doerflinger’s driving record on OSCN, and let’s just say he has a lot of experience talking to cops during traffic stops:

They’ve named a bridge after Gary England!!!

gary england bridge

Here’s a bridge that’s safe to hide under during a tornado!

In a loving tribute that’s obviously designed to honor Oklahoma’s most holy severe weather deity, and protect western Oklahoma wind farms from the increasing threat of dangerous hail, multi-wedge grinders and other violent acts of weather cast upon us by Diabolical Aaron Tuttle and his severe weather demons, the Oklahoma legislature and Mary Fallin recently passed a law that names a bridge just north of Seiling the “Meteorologist Gary England Bridge.” It becomes official on July 1st.

Here’ an unobstructed street view of the holy weather monument: