Happy Monday after Daylight Savings Time. If you’re like me, then your zombie shuffling through your office and making half-ass jokes about how there isn’t enough coffee in the world for you make it through this day. And, again, if you’re like me, you’ll spend half the morning taking a nap in the conference room, praying that no one has an impromptu meeting that may disturb your slumber or get you fired. Couple this with the knowledge that the weather is going to be fantastic, and it’s hard to sit in your office and be even moderately productive today. But don’t fret. I’ve got all you need in the way of last week’s best tweets. They won’t make you a better worker, but they might make you smile. So sit back and settle in, because the tweets are after the jump!
At the time of writing, I’m unsure as to whether or not I will have to attend work tomorrow. And if we’re open, I can guarantee that I will spend the entirety of the workday completely unproductive because I will feel that I’ve been cheated out of a snow day. And if you do have the day off, know that I will be jealous of you and your job where they don’t expect you to get out on the ice unnecessarily. Basically, I’m ready for this Monday to be the worst Monday ever. I’m sure some of you are in similar situations. That’s why I’ve put together the very best tweets for your entertainment. May they bring you comfort on your snow or non-snow day. As always, the tweets are after the jump.
If you’re like me, you’re nursing a Coor’s Light hangover at your desk while you pretend to get work done. Don’t worry. Come 10 AM, you should be able to take a nap in an empty office. Either that, or you’re calling in sick so you can sleep in and snuggle on the couch with your dog. Whatever you choose, know that I’m there with you in spirit, and to prove it, I’ve collected some of the best and brightest tweets of the past week for your reading pleasure. They won’t take away the hangover, but they might make you momentarily forget that you have one. As always, this week’s tweets are after the jump.
Happy President’s Day to all our fine readers out there. Do you have the day off? No? Well, this may be the one day a year where my job is better than yours. So suck it. But don’t worry. I didn’t take the day off from bringing you the tweets of the past week. I asked Patrick if we could have days off from blogging, and he said that if I asked again, he was going to send me to the same glue factory that they sent Boxer, the horse, to in Animal Farm. Not to turn me into glue or anything, but for a tour. It’s neat to see how stuff is made, and Patrick knows how big a fan of glue I am. I mean, I huff it daily.
Anyway, check out the tweets after the jump!
What’s up, you lovely, hung over hot messes? It’s Monday, and I’m guessing you’re trying to stay awake at your desk and just make it to lunch. That’s pretty much what I do for a living. Well, don’t fret. I’ve got just the thing you need to wake you up, or at least something that will keep your eyes focused on your computer monitor so maybe your boss will think you’re actually working. Get yourself a trampoline because this week’s tweets are after the jump.
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