Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for Monday Morning Tweets

Monday Morning Tweets

Happy Monday, and welcome to my birthday week, everyone! As I get ready to celebrate entering the last year of my twenties, I’d like to invite you all to drink recklessly and max out your credit cards as well. It won’t keep you young forever, but at least it will numb the pain of aging for like, a day. If you’d like to get me a present, I’d like a locally-owned coffee shop in the I-40 and Meridian area, or for Molly Murphy’s to reopen so I can have my birthday party there. If you can do neither of these things, then I know you really don’t care about me. (Side note: if you’re looking to open a local coffee shop and are thinking of doing so in the I-40 and Meridian area…don’t. Like, it’s not worth it to you. I would love it, but I can drink 7-Eleven coffee instead. No need for you to waste your livelihood in an area of the city that God has completely forgotten.)

Anyway, as always, I’ve got your weekly tweets after the jump!

Monday Morning Tweets

Happy Monday, everyone. That was a fun Saturday of football, wasn’t it? Are you as exhausted as I am? Mondays are really hard during football season, since I spend all Saturday eating football snacks and drinking beer. You can’t be healthy when you really need a Sonic toaster sandwich to drown all the alcohol still in your system. And just try explaining why you refuse to turn the lights on in your office to your boss. You can tell they don’t sympathize. So if you’re like me, you need to ease into your Monday. That’s why Monday Morning Tweets exists, so you can catch up on the last week before diving into the current one.

As always, I’ve gathered up some of the very best tweets you ever did see, and they’re all right here after the jump!

Monday Morning Tweets

Happy Monday, everyone. As always, we’re here to bring you the tweets of the week before to start your week off on the right foot. So sit back, settle in, and chill out. It’s not like you had anything better to do anyway. Work? Nah. Eff that. Your job doesn’t care about the tweets of last week. Why should you care about your job? And if your boss gets mad because you’ve been reading The Lost Ogle all morning, you can tell them that Marisa says to go to hell. That’ll show them.

Yes. Wait until noon. But with that, I guess we should get to the tweets. As always, they are after the jump.

Monday Morning Tweets

Happy Monday, everyone. I’m currently typing this from Alabama, which I can say is a terrible place. I’ve experienced parts of the Deep South during this trip that would make great horror movie fodder. Don’t ever let your east or west coast cousins try to tell you that Oklahoma is backward or full of hicks. Because even our more backward small town is better than any spot I’ve been to in Alabama.

Anyway, it’s good to know that once I step off the plane, I’ll be back in Oklahoma where things always stay the same. Like this, for example:

Monday Morning Tweets

Happy Monday to everyone. How many of you are reading this from your fancy pants new iPhone 6 Plus? Just kidding. No one cares about your new phone. You know why? BECAUSE IT’S A PHONE. If you were reading it from a Nokia 5110, then we would care because we’d really like to know how you hacked that brick with an antenna to display websites. And we still kind of want to see if we can beat our old score on snake.

Anyway, as always, I’ve collected the best and the worst of the tweets from the week before, and I’ve placed them right here for you to enjoy. Don’t ever say I didn’t do nothing for ya. Get this week’s tweets after the jump.