Archive for the 'OKC Blazers' Category

10 BAD Local Valentine’s Day Date Ideas…

Published by
Patrick
 on February 14, 2008

honeybees.jpg

So, today is Valentine’s Day. Thank god I’ve come down with the flu. That means I now have the best excuse ever to not go out with the dozens of Lost Ogle groupies who were begging for me to be their Valentine. Instead I get to stay at home by myself and smear that weird anti-vomiting stuff on my wrists and just fall asleep.

Anyway, after that great visual, I’ll segue to the following email we received at The Lost Ogle mailbag:

I have a question that perhaps you are equipped to answer (or maybe Patrick’s perverted roommate can chime in). As you know, Valentine’s Day is approaching quickly. As a very romantic man myself, I have spent many hours measuring my options for wooing a lady on Valentine’s Day, and I have now encountered a conundrum that I can’t possibly resolve on my own.

For Valentine’s Day, we lucky Central Oklahomans have a choice between two entertainment legends: Tom Jones at the Riverwind Casino in Norman or Wayne Newton at Firelake Grand Casino in Shawnee. The question is: to which legendary performer’s show should one take his lady if one has high hopes of amorous relations with said very classy lady?

I know, it is an embarrassment of riches to be faced with such entertainment options right here in Oklahoma, but coinciding with the best chance of ass-gettin’ all year long makes it vital that we weigh our options with great care to arrive at the proper decision.

I humbly await your guidance.

A Very Romantic Okie

Honestly, the question was too tough for us to answer. I asked my perverted roommate for his input, but he grew up in Chickasha and can’t read or write too well. I even went to Lauren Richardson to get her opinion, but got this odd reply:

No, I will not go to Braum’s and then to an Indian Casino with you. Leave me alone.

Since we really can’t answer the Tom Jones/Wayne Newton question, we’ll just put it on our list of 10 bad local Valentine’s Day date ideas. Check out the other 9 after the jump:

Continue reading ‘10 BAD Local Valentine’s Day Date Ideas…’

Category: Braum's, Dave Morris, Lauren Richardson, OKC Blazers, OSU Basketball and OU Basketball. 22 Comments

Blazers Hockey Is Spigtacular

Published by
Tony
 on January 15, 2008

If you’re like me, you haven’t been to a Blazers game since the good old days when Steve Simoni and George Dupont were in town. But the Blazers’ marketing department has come up with a foolproof plan to get fans to come out to Friday night’s game. It’s FFA night! By itself, nothing too out of the ordinary, but this particular game features a giveaway that is quite simply too awesome for words.

…all FFA members attending the game will have an opportunity to win one of four animals to be given away at the end of the evening’s game: an Express Ranch heifer, valued at $2,500, a lamb, a goat and a pig.

Go to a hockey game… win a cow. Just like God intended it.

(h/t Deadspin)

Category: OKC Blazers. 5 Comments

Justice League of Oklahoma (Part V)

Published by
Clark Matthews
 on November 20, 2007

 

Previously: The Justice League learned a machine that can control the weather had come under the hands of a rogue. Doug Sauter, Joe Burton, Val Castor, and Lauren Richardson saved Greer, Oklahoma. Lauren was chastised by Gary England for disobeying orders, wooed by Mike Morgan to leave the Justice League, and later defended Morgan when Gary accused him of being the rogue. It was revealed that Gary was the inventor of the machine. Gary confronted Morgan, but found him to be innocent and learned that Lauren had faith that Gary was not behind the weather abnormality. Meanwhile, the Storm Chaser lair was infiltrated by ninjas who were corralled by Wayne Coyne. Their identity was a shock. And now, the final chapter…

———————- Continue reading ‘Justice League of Oklahoma (Part V)’

Category: Fake News, Gary England, Justice League of Oklahoma, Lauren Richardson, OKC Blazers, Oklahoma City Weather and Wayne Coyne. 13 Comments

“That’s How You Stymie a Horse”

Published by
Clark Matthews
 on October 4, 2007

The scriptures say, “judge not lest ye be judged.” In a post late last week, I chided The Oklahoman for sitting on the most intriguing story of the OSU/Sam Houston State game. Now, it looks like I might be guilty of a similar sin. In a story so perfect for TheLostOgle.com that it might as well have been scripted by Tony, Blazers’ hockey coach Doug Sauter literally stopped a stampede of horses with his teeth, and we haven’t made a single mention of it two weeks after the fact. That changes now.

It should not have been a huge surprise. I mean, look at his picture. With a mustache like that, Sauter has to be either a super villain or a superhero in disguise. Mild mannered minor league hockey coach was just too much of a stretch.

Here’s a brief synopsis of what happened:

  • Sauter, who trains clydesdales, was in attendance at a Draft Quarterhorse Show at the Centennial Expo Building during the State Fair.
  • A wagon being pulled by a team of horses overturned, injuring a 62 year old woman.
  • Chaos ensued, as the wagon driver attempted to control his horses.
  • The other horses at the show became antsy.
  • Sauter jumped to action by biting a Belgian horses ear, calming it and putting a kibosh on the stampede it was about to lead.

“That’s how you stymie a horse,” Sauter said afterwards. He probably uttered it in a “matter-of-fact” tone, but I prefer to think he said it more taunting way. More like, “THAT’S how you stymie a horse!” Followed by an insincere single, “Ha.” I also picture him standing tall with his fists pushed firmly into his hips, staring to his left while the wind blows his whiskers behind him like a cape. (I may need therapy.)

Of course, this leaves us some interesting questions to ponder:

  • Who was the arch-nemesis who almost started the stampede?
    • Does anyone know Dean Blevins’ whereabouts at the time?
  • Is Oklahoma City big enough for two superheroes?
    • Will he and Gary England begin an Oklahoman version of the Justice League?
  • Should Sauter be on hand for all Mike Gundy press conferences?
  • Does Mick Cornett have a red phone hidden beneath his desk that goes directly to Sauter’s horse ranch?
  • When will DougSauterFacts.com take over for Chuck Norris Facts?
Category: Dean Blevins, Gary England, Mike Gundy, OKC Blazers, The Lost Ogle and Unusual. 10 Comments

Want to be our friend? Take the test…

Published by
Patrick
 on June 6, 2007

Over on The Lost Ogle’s MySpace, we literally have hundreds, if not thousands of people begging to be our friends. But to be our friend, you have to pass this simple litmus test. If you answer “Yes” to all five questions below, we really don’t want to be your friend. If you answer “no, no, no, no, no”, then welcome to paradise! If you’re somewhere in the middle, you can possibly be Tony’s friend, but not Patrick’s. If you are a hot girl, we could really care less about what answers you give.

Take the test after the jump.

Continue reading ‘Want to be our friend? Take the test…’

Category: Hinder, OKC Blazers, OU Football, Oklahoma City Media, Sports, The Sports Animal and Toby Keith. 3 Comments