The guy pictured above is Nick Lyon. He’s an Oklahoma teacher, writer and more than likely charter member of Jedi OKC. One of his self-published books, a collection of short stories called “It’ll All Work Out,” is generating some alleged “outrage” in Guthrie.
From the always accurate and eager to hype KFOR news team:
There is outrage in Guthrie over a book assigned to junior high students.
Some parents said the story lines include child molestation, rape, murder and torture.
“It’s sickening; it literally made me sick to my stomach when I read it,” Charlotte Purviance said.
She is disgusted with a book she said 8th graders at Guthrie Junior High were assigned to read.
Her grandson is one of the students.
“A lot of the characters in the book are women who are raped, tortured and killed,” Purviance said.
The book titled “It’ll All Work Out” is a collection of short stories.
One excerpt describes a woman suspended in the air, bound by piercing wires causing her body to drip puddles of blood.
It goes on to talk about a snake and worms crawling around her body then entering her vagina.
Yeah, that’s some sick and disgusting stuff. In fact, it’s so sick and disgusting that I fully expect it to be turned into an episode of Law and Order: SVU…which you can coincidentally watch each Wednesday on Oklahoma’s NewsChannel 4 at 8:00pm.
Anyway, some angry old lady is upset that her grandson was forced to read the book. She’s convinced the story will ruin her grandson’s eternal innocence:
A few months ago, we lost Joleen Chaney — the second hottest and nicest girl in the Oklahoma City media — to an engagement. After hearing the news, I spent a couple of weeks in a state of shock. I was constantly weeping and asking “Why…Why,” but after some deep thought and reading those books that inspired BeeBee Jonez to retire for six months, I realized the entire thing was probably a vast conspiracy by some conservative lobby group.
Well, it looks like my theory has been proven true. The conservatives really are out to get us! On Saturday night, KOKH Morning Anchor Liz Dueweke — the hottest and meanest girl in the OKC media — announced she is engaged to KFOR’s AJ Mertz. In addition to that, we’re hearing rumors that Liz may be leaving for Seattle! Talk about a double whammy. Not only does she get engaged, but then she skips town. Why don’t you cut out our heart, show it to us while we’re alive, and then tell us you’ve built up an immunity to iocane powder while you’re at it?
First, here’s a tweet about the engagement:
Now that my boyfriend just proposed to me…what am I supposed to complain about now?! @ajmertz
— Liz (@LizDueweke) February 17, 2013
She may be mean and only lack a sense of humor, but congrats to Liz and AJ. We wish nothing but the best for them. May their first child be a masculine child.
In case you forgot, this is what her future husband looks like. He kind of gives hope to all other incredibly average guys that they can score a rude, totally-better-than-you hot chick if they get lucky:
It’s been a week since Jim Traber quit Twitter after a mysterious tweet from his wife to one of his followers, and sadly it seems we are not any closer to cracking the case. For some reason Traber thinks we’re behind it, but we’re not. Who was @SportsGirl04Me? Why was Julie Traber so mad? Will Jim ever return to Twitter? And, hey, what about Perfect Strangers? Remember that show?
Sorry, lost my train of thought. This week we’re returning to a much more traditional version of Monday Morning Tweets, but if anyone happens to have any more information of Trabergate 2013, you know where to find us.
This week’s tweets are below the fold.
Back on December 19th, nearly six days before the much-hyped 2012 Christmas Blizzard that never happened, I posted this pic of KFOR’s Mike Morgan forecasting either a life threatening blizzard or a cold, windy mostly dry day. Oddly enough, we had neither.
To be fair, pretty much everyone missed on that storm. I just thought the image properly conveyed and symbolized the winter weather hype machine that runs rampant in this market whenever snow is in the forecast. It’s either going to be cold or YOU WILL DIE SO YOU BETTER WATCH US EVERY DAMN NIGHT OF THE WEEK!!!!
And I know the public is partly to blame. If we didn’t get all anxious, excited and glued to our TVs whenever they mention “snow” in the forecast, guess what, they wouldn’t always mention snow in the forecast. But we’re stupid and take the bait, and they’re smart and dangle it in our faces. It’s just how the system works.
The media outlet taking the lead in today’s winter weather hype machine is surprisingly KOKH Channel 25. It’s surprising because no one likes to get their weather from Channel 25, do they? Here’s a screen of their website taken at 1:00am:
Unless you watch Numb3rs and Roseanne re-runs, you’re probably not aware that Vince Orza’s KSBI Channel 52 is still on the air. This is a shame, because “Oklahoma Live” host Alex Wehrley is ridiculously hot. Plus, her co-host looks like an elf. They should rename the show “The Hottie and the Elf.” Who wouldn’t want to watch that? Ratings would probably double overnight.
Outside of Alex, the only other reason to watch KSBI is for the station’s original programming. The shows are not good or anything, but the production values are so bad they’re sometimes comical. One example of this is the collegiate-level academic bowl “Mind Games.” The questions are terrible, the contestants have no personalities, and you can tell that the show’s host — Jenifer Reynolds — is just doing Vince Orza a favor. It’s like she’s totally aware that no one at home is watching. To make matters worse, Redlands Junior College defeated Southwestern Oklahoma State University in the Mind Games Championship Game. Yes, a junior college in El Reno is home to that state’s top academic team. And it’s not without controversy. According to my sources at Rose State and OCCC, the Redlands kids allegedly used PEDs.
If all of that sounded sad, it is. But don’t worry, it gets better. While Mind Games was on Christmas break, they had a special sports version of the show featuring local media pundits. The teams were: KSBI, The Sports Animal, The Oklahoman and KFOR. Yes, KSBI had to recruit a competing television station to be part of their trivia show. See what I mean about the production values being comical?
Here’s a round one battle of The Sports Animal (Mike Steely, Jim Traber and Mark Rodgers) taking on the The Oklahoman (Boomer Tramel, John Helsley and Mike Sherman). Jenni Carlson couldn’t make the taping because she was busy writing a sports column for Jim Traber to hate the following day. Check it out:
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