Welcome to our annual ranking of the 20 Hottest Women in the Oklahoma City News Media. We originally wanted to post this list in May, but then the tornado happened, an Oklahoman reporter was arrested, another tornado happened, and some weatherman told people to flee the storm. I guess you can say it was a busy and terrible month.
Because 90% of the Internet is filled with perverted lonely men or judgemental bitter women, this is one of our most anticipated annual features. When we started the series in 2008, it was done more as a joke and to provide satirical commentary on that vanity and state of TV news. It’s still kind of works that way, but now people seem to care about the list and we have to take it semi-seriously. That means I had to spend four hours of my weekend on Facebook callously judging and scrutinizing the hottest reporters and anchors this town has to offer. And I did it all for you, the TLO reader.
Before we get to the 2013 rankings, let’s take a look at the ladies from 2012 who have either moved away or left the media. This year we went all out and made a creepy “In Memoriam” tribute video for them.
That was sweet.
Today we’re going to review 20 – 16. Overall, there some new names and faces on (and off) this year’s list. We didn’t even know a lot these ladies existed until this past weekend. That probably means we’re either slipping, growing up, or depended too much on an apparent stalker to deliver us updates on hot anchors and reporters. It has to be one of the three.
Here we go:
The Oklahoma Gazette is currently seeking nominations for their annual advertorial “The Best of OKC.” In the past, we’ve encouraged our readers to nominate TLO for categories like “Best Local Blog” or “People I Really Want To Sleep With.”
This year, we’re not diving down to those lowly depths of pathetic pandering. Instead, we would like to encourage you to nominate Sparkle Titsworth as our town’s “Best Community Leader.” Why are we asking you to do this? Because why the hell not.
In case you forget, Sparkle Titsworth is the Oklahoma City woman with an awesome name who won $1,000 in gas from 7-11 a few years ago. A camera phone photo of a poster that included her name went viral, and we’ve loved her ever since. Here’s a pic of Sparkle claiming her prize.
So, there you have it. Go to OklahomaGazette.com and nominate Sparkle Titsworth as OKC’s next great “Community Leader.” Then give yourself a pat on the back for doing something awesome.
But before you do, I have to warn you about one thing.
The Gazette apparently wants to make this process as complicated as possible, and you have to submit a nomination for 27 different categories for your ballot to count. Because of that, I’ve provided some suggestions for other categories, too. Just copy and paste them over when you fill out your ballot. If most of our nominees make the cut, this whole “Best Of OKC” sham will be a lot more fun.
Check them out:
A couple of weeks ago, we found the following selfie on Aaron “The Weather Situation” Tuttle’s Facebook page. In case you forgot, Aaron is a meteorological muscle man who sells cars on TV, once served as a weatherman for Channel 5, and now spreads weather hype, fear and global warming denial theories to his 35,000 Facebook fans.
Not to be outdone by that level of douchieness, Aaron has posted another troubling selfie to Facebook. This time he’s showing his sensitive side:
Long live the lunges.
We have learned via the Ogle Mole Network that Fox 25 anchor Jaime Cerreta will be leaving OKC for a new market in August. Details of where she’s going have not yet been released, although I think it may be somewhere on the West Coast. There’s also no word on what her boyfriend Dave Morris thinks about all this. Let’s hope Jaime takes him with her.
This move isn’t all that surprising. Jaime nearly left OKC in 2008, but reconsidered after we convinced Andrew Speno to donate his salary to her. I guess we screwed up by not pressuring her new co-anchor Mike Brooks to do the same. Based on this pic we acquired last fall, it wouldn’t have been a tough sell:
Just like anyone, I have a bunch of strange / odd habits. One of them is that I like to have the TV turned on with the sound muted while I work. I can’t really explain why I do this, but I think it helps with my concentration. It also probably explains all the typos.
Last night I was watching the NBA Finals. When the Heat built their lead in the 4th quarter, my routine kicked in and I got out the computer, muted the TV, and went to work writing stuff for the Internet. About 30 minutes later, I glanced up and witnessed the following exchange between Rusty McCranie, Paul Folger and Jessica Schambach. Remember, the TV was muted so I couldn’t hear what they were discussing:
Did you catch them? If not, watch the video again on full screen and pay attention to Paul Folger’s face. Maybe you had to be half-drunk and alone on your couch, but I thought it was hysterical. I guess it was the first time I ever noticed the many faces of Paul Folger. Here are 12 of them:
1. Not Impressed Paul Folger
2. Diabolical James Bond Villain Paul Folger
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