Back on December 19th, nearly six days before the much-hyped 2012 Christmas Blizzard that never happened, I posted this pic of KFOR’s Mike Morgan forecasting either a life threatening blizzard or a cold, windy mostly dry day. Oddly enough, we had neither.
To be fair, pretty much everyone missed on that storm. I just thought the image properly conveyed and symbolized the winter weather hype machine that runs rampant in this market whenever snow is in the forecast. It’s either going to be cold or YOU WILL DIE SO YOU BETTER WATCH US EVERY DAMN NIGHT OF THE WEEK!!!!
And I know the public is partly to blame. If we didn’t get all anxious, excited and glued to our TVs whenever they mention “snow” in the forecast, guess what, they wouldn’t always mention snow in the forecast. But we’re stupid and take the bait, and they’re smart and dangle it in our faces. It’s just how the system works.
The media outlet taking the lead in today’s winter weather hype machine is surprisingly KOKH Channel 25. It’s surprising because no one likes to get their weather from Channel 25, do they? Here’s a screen of their website taken at 1:00am:
Unless you watch Numb3rs and Roseanne re-runs, you’re probably not aware that Vince Orza’s KSBI Channel 52 is still on the air. This is a shame, because “Oklahoma Live” host Alex Wehrley is ridiculously hot. Plus, her co-host looks like an elf. They should rename the show “The Hottie and the Elf.” Who wouldn’t want to watch that? Ratings would probably double overnight.
Outside of Alex, the only other reason to watch KSBI is for the station’s original programming. The shows are not good or anything, but the production values are so bad they’re sometimes comical. One example of this is the collegiate-level academic bowl “Mind Games.” The questions are terrible, the contestants have no personalities, and you can tell that the show’s host — Jenifer Reynolds — is just doing Vince Orza a favor. It’s like she’s totally aware that no one at home is watching. To make matters worse, Redlands Junior College defeated Southwestern Oklahoma State University in the Mind Games Championship Game. Yes, a junior college in El Reno is home to that state’s top academic team. And it’s not without controversy. According to my sources at Rose State and OCCC, the Redlands kids allegedly used PEDs.
If all of that sounded sad, it is. But don’t worry, it gets better. While Mind Games was on Christmas break, they had a special sports version of the show featuring local media pundits. The teams were: KSBI, The Sports Animal, The Oklahoman and KFOR. Yes, KSBI had to recruit a competing television station to be part of their trivia show. See what I mean about the production values being comical?
Here’s a round one battle of The Sports Animal (Mike Steely, Jim Traber and Mark Rodgers) taking on the The Oklahoman (Boomer Tramel, John Helsley and Mike Sherman). Jenni Carlson couldn’t make the taping because she was busy writing a sports column for Jim Traber to hate the following day. Check it out:
I’ve never been too sure about KOCO Channel 5 anchorman Paul Folger. This is for several reasons.
1. He seems to lack that “most trusted man in America” vibe that you look for in an anchorman. Sure, the Ogle brothers may come across as boring and old-fashioned in their “rants” and “two-cents,” but at least they have that honest newsman thing going for them. Paul Folger just doesn’t have it. Seriously, who would you rather have read you a bedtime story? Paul Folger or an Ogle brother? You’d go Ogle all the way. What about a spare house key or email password? Ogle Ogle. On the other hand, you’d probably pick Paul Folger to take care of your dog when you go on vacation. Now I’m confused.
2. He occasionally does things like this:
After watching that video a couple of times, I’m about 90% certain Paul Folger was catfished by Ronaiah Tuiasosopo posing as Whiskers. And worst of all, I think Paul Folger didn’t realize it until he was reading the teleprompter.
3. He has a Pinterest page. If you’re a dude, which one of the following scenarios involving your best friend, we’ll call him Clark, would bother you the most: A) Clark sleeping with your ex-girlfriend, B) Clark buying a mini-van or C) Clark getting a Pinterest page. That’s a tough one, but I’d vote C. The other two things are acceptable, but creating a Pinterest page would be like inviting everyone over to your house for a cupcake party. When you’re a dude you just don’t do it.
Let me give you a brief run down of Paul’s page:
Emily Sutton officially started her new career today as the regular morning meteorologist for KFOR Channel 4. She’ll be on the air each weekday from 4:00am – 7:00am. We know this because Channel 4 has been playing the following promo commercial non-stop for about a week. It makes you say “awwwwwwwwwwwww” more than your friend Jessica (a.k.a. the annoying girl at a baby shower):
Uhm, is Channel 4 trying to imply that Emily Sutton’s dream in life is to wake up at 2:00am each morning to give the weather forecast in Oklahoma City? That’s a little premature isn’t it? They should have saved that clip for when Mike Morgan retires and Emily dons the bedazzled weather dress. Or are they saying that Emily is finally fulfilling her dream of being a TV meteorologist? If that’s what they’re doing, doesn’t it totally discount Emily’s contributions over the past 3 years? Was her other work not that important? Am I being too analytical? Probably so.
Anyway, Emily has been
promoting writing about the new gig on Facebook and it’s brought out some of the creepy crawlies. And I’m not talking about the ones who post pictures of her in a bikini behind the thinly veiled pseudo-anonymity of the internet. I’m talking the creepy crawlies who live in a world where Emily Sutton is like a best friend and post awkward, sitting-too-close comments on her Facebook Page.
Here are 20 of my favorites.
To lead things off, we have anti-punctuation and -capitalization guys:
In our most recent mailbag, someone asked a question about swingers in the Oklahoma City area. Here was the exchange:
Not a Swingle writes:“I have been hearing a lot about swinger couples around OKC and suburbs and the stories have been told to me by people who live in different communities/school districts who don’t know each other. Is there a swinger epidemic accompanying this flu? Are some married couples really not as happy as they portray themselves on facebook and their Xmas cards? Or will I receive Xmas cards next year with swapped spouses? Do you think a lot of the swapping started at Thunder watch parties?”
Actually, I don’t really hear a lot about swingers. Then again, I don’t hang out at Friends on Memorial and Russell’s, so I’m not that engaged in swinger circles.
One other question, if we had to come up with a list of the metro’s most likely celebrity swingers and were not allowed to include the Mathis Brothers, wouldn’t Mike and Marla Morgan have to be number one? I don’t think anyone would be surprised if they were swingers. Number two would probably be Jack and Ron.
Well, it looks like I didn’t do my proper research. Number two probably should have been Jed Castles and his wife. She kind of looks like the Pioneer Women’s little sister. Check out this video from last Friday’s newscast:
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