If you’re a 45-year-old cougar who can’t let go of your youth, a Rocklahoma fan, or you just really really like meth, today’s news may be the best thing you’ve ever heard in your life…or at least this week.  From RadioInsight.com:

As Active Rock “94.7 The Buzz” KHBZ Oklahoma City continues to struggle against Citadel’s heritage Rock 100.5 KATT and Renda’s Classic Rock “107.7 KRXO“, Clear Channel appears ready to attack the pair from a different angle. 947TheBrew.com, registered this week and pointing to KHBZ’s current site (except for the homepage redirect to Yahoo) hints that the station will shift to the 80s based Classic Rock brand that the company has launched in quite a few other markets (Milwaukee, Portland, and Omaha among others).

Hmmn…does anyone else find it suspicious that right after we learn that the State Fair Speedway is closing, it’s announced that minor league hockey is returning and we’re getting a radio station that only plays “80’s Classic Rock?”  What’s next?  The Oklahoma State Fair becoming a year long event?

Anyway, it was only a couple years ago that TheBuzz changed from an Alt-Rock to a Meth-Rock format. I wouldn’t be surprised if it changes formats again in a couple of years.  Maybe when that happens, Clear Channel will start a Sports Talk station to compete with The Sports Animal.  That would actually be cool.

In my opinion, the main reason the Sports Animal is so successful is that it has a FM signal.  If Clear Channel hired away some of the good talent from The Sports Animal (Mark Rodgers, Carey Murdock, and the 1990’s Mike Steely) along with the talent from KREF (Toby Rowland and Myron Patton) it may have a chance to succeed.  However, doing something like that would be smart.  Considering management thought it was a good idea to move the Buzz to an 80’s rock format, I doubt it will ever happen.

The kiddos may not remember it — I barely do myself — but there used to be a guy named Bill Simonson who had a radio show in the Oklahoma City market. He made Jim Traber look humble. I mean, he actually called himself “Captain Huge.” It takes some world-class levels of self-loathing to be the kind of jerk this guy was. I was in, like, the 6th grade and could tell this guy had some serious issues. If ever there was a person who needed a hug from Angi Bruss, it was Bill Simonson.

Anyway, he never really caught on here, thank Gary England, and eventually moved on to Tulsa, where he ended up getting fired for making racist statements about John Blake. From there he moved on to Chicago, where he got beat up outside of Comiskey Park, and then I lost track of him…

…until a few weeks ago, when I heard him on a syndicated Sunday program on the Sports Animal. I almost drove off the road. The ghost of my childhood had returned, and hours with my shrink were needed to repair the damage. It was almost as traumatic as the time Mike Morgan showed up at my house in full Star Trek regalia, but that’s another story for another therapy session.

This is all a roundabout way of giving background to the following thing I ran across today on Deadspin: a blog entry, written by Simonson, that is possibly the stupidest thing I have read in my entire life. You can read it for yourself, but the crux of his argument is that a certain West Point grad is of poor character because he got drafted to play football and will not be going to Iraq.

I quote: “What is puzzling about Campbell’s story is that West Point is centered on building leadership qualities. Yes, the rules are there to help market the academy’s sports programs by giving good athletes the opt-out early parachute.

If Campbell was a leader and a man of the highest character, wouldn’t he turn down the Lions and honor his duty to this country?

Even before the Lions picked him, the Army had stooped to using him in uniform as a military mascot during the NFL draft.

Is this duty, honor, country?”

Seriously, read the whole thing, it’s hilarious (and be sure to check out the comments as well).

In celebration of this, after the jump, a trip down memory lane as Mel Bracht gets all righteous and calls (sort of) for Simonson to be fired.

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