After being busted by Channel 25 for having a poor credit score, Grant Long finally resigned as the Thunder’s TV color analyst a few weeks ago. It was sad news for those people who enjoyed Long’s deep knowledge of sports commentary clichés and ability to make any negative play seem positive through the art of twisted analysis. Listening to Long call a Thunder game was like listening to someone try to B.S. their way through a job interview – OKC’s only weakness was that they sometimes worked a little too hard:
“Russell Westbrook worked a little too hard to get the ball in there to Serge Ibaka, but great effort by Russ!
“Kevin Durant worked a little too hard to get to the basket there, but that’s okay, because he’s giving great effort.”
“Kendrick Perkins worked a little too hard to miss that open lay-up, but I love the effort by the big fella!”
Since his announcement, there’s been a lot of speculation on who will be Long’s replacement. In fact, The Oklahoman is now asking their readers to submit ideas.
There will be a new Thunder TV team in 2014-15.
We need to get this figured out. The combination of Brian Davis and Grant Long had become a Thunder television staple since the team arrived in 2008. But with Long resigning in July after six seasons on the Thunder broadcast, there’s a void that needs to be filled.
“The Thunder wishes Grant well and will immediately begin the search of finding his replacement,” the Thunder said in a release following Long’s resignation.
The search starts here. Who should be the next Thunder TV analyst?
Give us your suggestions in the comments section below, via Facebook, on our Twitter page or email email@example.com. Your suggestions don’t have to be someone with a long pedigree of broadcasting work. It can be anyone from a radio personality, to a former Thunder player.
We’ll run a special Main Event with your suggestions in Monday’s Oklahoman.
Okay guys, you know what we have to do. We have a mission and it’s an important one. Let’s flood The Oklahoman with suggestions that Jenni Carlson be the next Thunder TV analyst.
Here are some important reasons why:
Grant Long may want to start a Go Fund Me.
Last night, KOKH Channel 25 ran a sad investigative report into the finances of the Oklahoma City Thunder TV color analyst/ propagandist / creepy selfie taker. It centered around a high interest $5,000 loan that Grant never paid back to a local loan shark.
From KOKH Channel 25:
A local business owner says one of the television commentators for the Oklahoma City Thunder owes him thousands of dollars.
Larry Rowell is one of the owners of R&R Estate Jewelers in Northwest Oklahoma City. He deals in high-end jewelry and on occasion will provide small short-term loans.
“I do loans to help folks that need help,” Rowell said. He doesn’t usually ask why people need quick cash, but Rowell says he’s never had problems doing occasional loans. He said he usually only loans out a few hundred dollars at a time.
Rowell told Fox 25 that was his expectation when the Oklahoma City Thunder’s Grant Long walked into his store. Long is the color television analyst for Thunder games who Rowell says asked for a $5,000 loan.
“The premise was that he just needed some emergency money and he was going to take care of it next month,” Rowell said, “It felt logical and I went along with it.”
Yeah, I’m sure it seemed really logical that Grant Long, a guy who earned over $21,000,000 during his NBA playing career and likely brings in low six-figures stuttering his way through Thunder TV broadcasts, was in a jam and needed $5,000 in emergency money at 20% interest. It’s not like he has any wealthy friends or connections from the basketball world that could loan him the money.
Rowell said Long also promised to introduce his store to some of the Thunder players who might be interested in purchasing some of his higher-priced jewelry.
“I swallowed it hook, line and sinker,” Rowell told Fox 25.
The handwritten agreement called for Long to repay Rowell $6,000 in 45 days. Rowell said it was a much larger loan than he is used to providing and that it was Long’s idea to repay $6,000 for a $5,000 loan. Long left the title for his 2009 Cadillac Escalade as collateral for the loan.
Those 45 days were up last October.
“There is an agreement between Larry and I,” Grant Long told Fox 25 during a phone interview, “Without going into much detail, which I won’t do, I just say that his loan will be satisfied. It’s not like I’m running out of town on a deal that I left on the table.”
Long said he never promised Rowell he could bring in any Thunder business. “I don’t have any control over that so I couldn’t promise that because I couldn’t deliver that,” Long sad, “I’ve never made the promise that I would bring in any players or coaches or anybody.”
When I heard last night that Channel 25 was running this story, my initial thought was “Who cares? It’s not like he’s Jesse James or anything.” But then I searched Grant Long’s name on OSCN, and well, it looks like the Credit Jewelry Cowboy wouldn’t even give him loan.
Check out this screen shot from OSCN.net:
Playoff season is on dot com. Lately I’ve found myself toggling between unconditional love for the whole team and cursing myself for caring too much, which will almost certainly lead to heartbreak this season. I love rushing home from the gym to turn on another playoff game, but I deeply resent the foul mood that many of the games leave my boyfriend in. I really love RussWest, but I hate how he’s seldom remembers to use good ball movement.
As with most things in life, there’s a ying and yang, a give a take. One of these said things is being a Thunder fan who lives in Tulsa. “Huh?” you might ask. I’ll break it down.
Pro: Hooray, our state has a pro team!
Not so many years ago, the sports gods (or you know, David Stern) picked us out of the crowd and gave us our very own team to love, nurture, and care for. I’m okay with the Thunder being city-specific rather than our entire state. “Utah Jazz” and “Indiana Pacers” just don’t have the right ring to them, plus chanting “O-K-C” makes a bit more sense than 4-syllable “Ok-La-Ho-Ma” would.
Sure it’s the OKC Thunder, but it totally has the feel as if it were our whole state’s collective team. This is also evident in Chesapeake’s opening video they’ve played for years and barely modified.
Con: OKC people have gotten a little supreme about it.
We get it, you have the basketball team. You’re also the capital, have a number of suburbs in close proximity, are located in the very center of our state, harbor about a million major highway cross sections, and your people like to go to NBA games, even when it’s another city’s team who was just there temporarily. There was a lot that went in to where the NBA moved this team, and “haha OKC has always been so much better’n Tulsa duh gus gus” wasn’t one of them.
Con: The drive.
That hour and a half stretch going west on highway 44 is never too bad, especially if you’ve got a good podcast to listen to or have some solid Sirius stations programmed into your car’s dashboard. The drive to OKC almost always flies by.
It’s the drive home that makes me want to intentionally crash into the Shrine of the Infant Jesus of Prague. You’re a weird mixture of sleepy and wired, emotionally exhausted, and probably have to be at a work meeting at 8 am the next day. I think every Tulsan driving home from OKC lets out an audible sigh of relief the minute they see Sapulpa’s Cinema 8 comes into focus.
Pro: We can hate Blake Griffin and Chris Paul without any guilt.
Chris Paul wasn’t shopping at our grocery stores, attending our churches, or stealing our hearts back in the late aughts. Blake Griffin wasn’t stomping our streets when he was a wee lad. Sure, half of us are Sooners, but as a Sooner fan you should know that we’ve never given a shit about college basketball. To many-a Tulsan, Blake’s just another whiney NBA lap dog with a killer dunk.
Over the years, one of the largest and most consistent cheerleaders of the Oklahoma City Thunder has been The Oklahoman. Their coverage of the team is so soft and kind-hearted that you’d think they were major sponsors of the team, or that Clay Bennett’s family once owned and still has close ties to the paper. You know, something that would really prevent the paper from being fair and honest.
Well, that all changed this morning. The State’s Most Trusted News shocked the Thunder Universe when they put this on the front page of their Thunder Extra:
When I first saw the headline, I thought I was dreaming. The only time The Oklahoman is critical of the Thunder is whenever the team wants the paper to paint an elite All Star as a selfish, poor character, playboy because they’re too cheap to pay him. Who cares that the headline is ridiculous and inaccurate. Kudos to The Oklahoman for showing some balls! Send Berry Tramel to piss in front of Chesapeake Arena like he’s the Champion of Meereen.
But then my opinion changed.
After looking through twitter, it seemed like Sports Editor Mike Sherman was enjoying the reaction and uproar a little too much. He retweeted this pandering photo from News 9 and engaged with everyone who questioned the headline. Was this genuine criticism from the paper or just a stunt to troll for publicity?
Well, it turns out it was neither. It was just the Oklahoman being the Oklahoman and screwing something up. They issued this retraction earlier today:
Oklahoma Fashion Week is the gift that keeps on giving.
Yesterday, an Ogle Mole alerted me to this amazing video of Vanity Perkins interviewing Mary Fallin for a few minutes at the Oklahoma Fashion Week media day. Vanity is apparently now a special correspondent for “Oklahoma Live” on KSBI Channel 52. I would have posted the video sooner, but sometimes I forget KSBI Channel 52 exists.
If you do anything productive today, make sure it’s watching this video a few 100 times and then sharing it with all your friends. It kind of reminds me of an SNL spoof, only a lot more funny and terrifyingly real. In fact, Vanity is the best celebrity interviewer I’ve seen since Harry Caray on Space: The Infinite Frontier.
Here’s the clip:
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