Yesterday, an Ogle Mole sent me a Facebook rant from some lady named Holly Gerrard. It thanked Oklahoma legislators for trying to block Common Core academic standards from Oklahoma schools, which is the newest anti-gubment movement by the tea party.
Holly’s rant received 64 “likes” and a whole bunch of positive comments. One of them came from Oklahoma politico wannabe Pam Pollard. She’s the former Vice-Chair of the Oklahoma GOP and currently the President of the Oklahoma Federation of Republican Women. Yes, Oklahoma Federation of Republican Women. Remember that when you check out her bat-shit crazy response to the post above:
Say what you want about Sally Kern, but at least she provides plenty of good material.
Over the past couple of days, some of her Onionesque legislation has made its way through the Oklahoma House of Representatives. The first would require piercing and tattoo parlors to warn their clients about the dangers of tongue piercing. You know, because that’s a concern we all have.
The State House has unanimously passed a bill that would warn would-be clients of the dangers of tongue piercing.
Rep. Sally Kern has authored House Bill 3403 that would require the Oklahoma Board of Health to help
“Many of today’s young people are getting their tongue pierced, which is their right; however, they are doing so without the understanding of the health risks involved,” Kern said, R-Oklahoma City. “It is the job of the state to help ensure the safety and well-being of the health of its citizenry, as well as to protect the consumer.”
Kern said one of the most common dangers includes loss of teeth.
The Rep. said food can gather around the piercing and get digested by saliva which creates acid.
That acid then leeches minerals from teeth damaging them which could eventually lead to tooth loss.
I guess I’m fine with that. If the warning makes some girl from Midwest City aware of the risks associated with having some dude who looks like he was in ZZ Top thrust a piece of jewelry into her tongue, I guess that’s a good thing. While they’re at it, maybe can they also warn the people who want to get those gigantic holes put in their ears that they will look like idiots.
In addition to that piece of legislation, another bill introduced by Sally Kern sailed through the House of Representatives. This one will solve the age-old problem of not having enough guns on school campuses.
From the TulsaWorld.com:
I don’t have any children, but when I do I hope that they don’t get caught up in this whole “Save the Arts” movement that’s hit Oklahoma.
By now, your social media feeds have been spammed with information about certain bills (HB3028, HB2580, & SB1859) that are making the rounds at the Oklahoma legislature. Each bill, in a roundabout way, would greatly devalue the Oklahoma Arts Council. One would merge it with the Department of Tourism, another would continue the stagnant “Art In Public Places Act” (that has literally done nothing since 2011), and the third would simply defund the Arts Council.
Of course, this has really upset the local art crowd, millennials, and basically anyone who voted for Ed Shadid. They are rallying to save the arts in Oklahoma, and want to guilt you into it, too. But don’t fall for it. I very much welcome an Oklahoma future without any sort of “arts” interfering in our business, and have compiled a list of seven reasons why you should too…
We will forever be the state that set Hinder loose upon the world, but we don’t have to repeat our mistakes. In a world without arts and music education, we can prevent shitty bands (or any bands, for that matter) from ever being created in Oklahoma again.
2. The people who would use the arts money could still use it through other various means.
Hypothetical situation: Johnny is an incredible spray-paint artist.
In a universe where the Art In Public Places Act is still being utilized, Johnny could be contracted to paint a beautiful mural downtown that was sanctioned by the great state of Oklahoma.
In the universe that I am proposing, Johnny goes to jail for graffiti.
Either way, government money is still supporting him. It shouldn’t matter how the money got there. Stop being so greedy, Johnny.
I love Oklahoma, so it upsets me when we are beaten in polls by states like Mississippi or West Virginia.
Last week, Oklahoma was ranked as “The 9th Most Miserable State” in a national well-being / link-baiting index. USAToday.com:
> Well-being index score: 64.7
> Life expectancy: 75.9 years (5th lowest)
> Percent obese: 30.5% (10th highest)
> Median household income: $44,312 (10th lowest)
> Percent with high school diploma: 86.7% (19th lowest)
Oklahomans had among the most unhealthy behaviors in the U.S. during 2013. Only about half of the population said they ate fruits and vegetables on a regular basis last year, less than any other state. Oklahoma residents also reported poor access to basic necessities. More than 10% of residents said they did not have easy access to clean and safe drinking water, worse than any other state. Oklahomans also self-reported poor physical health. More than 6% of adults said they have had a heart attack as of last year, more than in any other state, and considerably higher than the national average of 3.8%. In 2010, there were 235.2 heart disease-related deaths per 100,000 residents, the third-highest rate nationwide.
10% of our residents don’t have access to clean and safe drinking water? That’s puzzling. Also, 6% of adults claimed they had a heart attack last year? Doesn’t that seem high? But don’t worry. These problems can all be fixed. All we need to do is give a tax break to the rich. Then everything will figure its way out.
Actually, it’s not the easy. In fact, improving our state is pretty damn hard. Since we’ll never do anything to combat these problems, I think we should go all out and try to be the most miserable state in the country. It shouldn’t be too hard to accomplish. Plus, we’ll finally be number one at something.
Here are some tips how:
Last Friday, certain voters in the Oklahoma City area received a very strange postcard in the mail from the Ed Shadid campaign.
Here’s the front of the card:
Ok, that’s not the weird part. It’s just a typical negative campaign ad. The whole “Mayor Cornett spent two years getting his MBA from NYU, and therefore, he doesn’t care about Oklahoma City and shouldn’t be mayor” message has been consistently delivered by Shadid and his supporters throughout this campaign. Although I see how the issue can irk some people, it really doesn’t bother me. Is it weird for the Mayor to go out-of-state to get an MBA? Maybe. Does it really matter in this age of connectivity, smartphones, emails and a daily non-stop flight from OKC to Newark? Not really. Did it affect his job as mayor? I don’t think so.
Here’s the part where the postcard gets funny / amusing / strange. On the reverse side, it warns that Mayor Mick’s time in New York City may have made him a little too “Big League City” for OKC’s taste. Specifically, it calls out the Mayor for turning Bricktown into 1970s Times Square and being in favor of gay rights. It even quotes Mary Fallin.
Check it out.
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