Remember back in June when we told you about that wannabe politician from Moore who wants to ban divorce and thinks it’s okay for the state to stone homosexuals to death?
Well, his name is Scott Esk and his head is about to explode right now.
Yesterday, The Oklahoman’s Nolan Clay took a quick break from investigating lap dances (actually, he didn’t) to let us know that a flip-flopping judge vacated a lesbian couple’s divorce decree just a day after approving it because Oklahoma laws do not recognize gay marriage. I would come up with a silly analogy to point out how ridiculous that is, but it’s the Tuesday after a Labor Day weekend, my brain is fried and I don’t think such an analogy doesn’t exists.
Back in June, we endorsed Christian theocrat Harvey Sparks as the Republican candidate for the Oklahoma 5th Congressional District. We did this because I played on his church basketball league my sophomore year of high school. That worked out about as well as a pack of wet matches. He finished last.
Hopefully we’ll have better luck this time around. We’re endorsing Steve Russell over Patrice Douglas in today’s Republican runoff for the 5th Congressional seat. This was a difficult decision. They’re both awful choices, but since men are generally taller and have higher IQs than women, he’s the logical choice.
Okay, I’m just kidding angry lady who’s about to leave a comment on our Facebook page. There are actually some compelling reasons in addition to height and IQ that led us to endorse this certified gun nut over the certified chamber robot.
Here are three of them:
Although it’s tempting, I don’t want to be to that guy who bags on the ice bucket challenge fad. For one, I’m a bit of a hypochondriac. Out of all the diseases and illnesses out there that I think I’m going to get in the next six months, ALS scares me the most. Two, we have rightwing Facebook weatherman Aaron Tuttle for that:
Yeah, ALS is murdering babies for scientific research. Obviously, that’s 100% scary and true. Know what else is 100% scary and true? Aaron Tuttle is a degreed meteorologist with over 50,000 Facebook fans. What the hell? I guess he’s the guy for people who like a little bit of crazy with their 5-day forecast.
Because we’re cool and on the leading edge of videos that will soon overwhelm your Facebook feed, we first covered the Harlem Shake of Good Causes back in mid-July when Meg Alexander took the plunge. Here’s her tweet about it:
— Meg Alexander (@newsmommy) July 15, 2014
Surprisingly, Mary Fallin accepted Meg’s challenge and poured a bucket of ice water over her head. Even more surprisingly, she didn’t melt! Zing!
Here’s the terrifying video:
As we like to remind you, Oklahoma has some pretty stupid politicians. Therefore, you shouldn’t be surprised when they start quoting Dr. Seuss on Facebook:
Geeze, let’s hope nobody ever reads to him the Berenstain Bears classic “Mamma Gets an Abortion.” James may pass out.
The problem with Lankford using this often recited quote is that Dr. Seuss was apparently pro-choice. Also, he was very much against other people using his work to further their political agenda. Check out this NPR report from the premier of the “Horton Hears a Who” movie:
ZoBell, an attorney, has represented the interests of Dr. Seuss, or Theodor Geisel, for some 40 years. After the show, ZoBell saw the demonstrators handing out anti-abortion flyers designed to resemble movie tickets. Geisel’s widow, Audrey Geisel, was there — and ZoBell says none of this sat well with her.
“She doesn’t like people to hijack Dr. Seuss characters or material to front their own points of view,” ZoBell said.
Some anti-abortion Web sites say Audrey Geisel supports Planned Parenthood. ZoBell says he’s never discussed such matters with her or her late husband, and that the Geisels never wanted Dr. Seuss characters used to advance any political purpose. But it happens more often than you might think.
So the pro-life movement accuses Dr. Seuss’s widow of supporting Planned Parenthood, but still uses his words for their movement? That would be like Gandhi using quotes from Hitler… or maybe Eva Braun would be more accurate.
Honestly, I’m not 100% sure what Horton Hears a Who is about. I think Dr. Seuss was trying to say that midgets are people… not fetuses. But one thing I am sure about is James Lankford should write his own stuff instead of twisting around the words of others. Here’s an example:
A person’s a person, no matter how small.
In fact, I have millions and they’re inside my ball.
Women aren’t smart, as it says in the Bible.
But don’t quote me on that because it is libel.
I won’t let women choose what they do with their body,
because I get money from the Hobby Lobby.
So what goes through James Lankford’s head when reading Dr. Seuss books? I’m glad you asked, I’ve compiled a list of them:
We promise. This is the final Mary Fallin related post for the week.
Well, unless she says or does something stupid before Friday. Since that’s a near certainty, I guess disregard my earlier statement and expect a post about Mary Fallin later this week.
Thanks to our Governor, I nearly had to break my promise. Always down for a good challenge, she announced the following day that she’s for the legalization of medicinal marijuana while not being for the legalization of medical marijuana.
Gov. Mary Fallin is supporting legalization of a nonintoxicating component of marijuana on a limited, trial basis for use in treating young people with rare conditions that cause seizures and strokes.
The ingredient is cannabidiol oil (CBD), and an interim legislative study is planned.
Wait a second. That’s not stupid. That’s great! I hope the study leads to new moderns laws that give Oklahomans the freedom and power to treat deadly, life altering seizures without being considered criminals.
I wonder what Mary thinks about the people who suffer from other medical conditions? You know, things ranging from pain, insomnia, muscle tension, anxiety, nausea or loss of appetite to potentially fatal diseases like cancer or AIDs? What type of medical marijuana will they be able to get?
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